Serious Premature Ejaculation Issue

Hey guys, I just wanted to try and get some feedback and ideas. I have awful premature ejaculation, and when I say awful, I truly mean awful. I feel like it’s definitely a physiological and psychological problem.

Here’s the rundown: I definitely haven’t had as much sex as I should have by now at age 21. Every time I have had it though, except one rare case, I blow immediately, sometimes just from dry humping. I swear it’s getting worse, I’ve been hooking up with this chick and when we were making out for like 5 minutes and she was rubbing my cock. I was about to blow, as sad as that is. She then went down on me and after only 10 seconds I blew. Yesterday I hit a new low, even though it didn’t seem possible. We made out for like 10 minutes and I blew..here’s the bad part..there was literally no direct stimulation to my unit.

From some background info, I started worrying about my dick size probably senior year of high school, but I had always avoided sex because I think I subconsciously always worried about my size. One of my buddies who dated a pretty popular girl our senior year of high school recently told me that she said all of the hot girls in our grade wanted to bang me. He listed off names of the chicks she said and it was insane lol. Sadly though I didn’t bang any of them.

My first time I blew right when the girl started blowing me, and then we had sex after. I only lasted 30-45 seconds even though I had just blown before. We had sex again a few days later and it was the same time. This problem actually seems to be getting worse somehow.

I definitely think this problem could have been avoided if when I was much younger I had had a steady girl or girls for sex, but I was always so self conscious I seemed to avoid this. One of the worst things about this situation is that right now this girl that like loved me when we were like 14 is receptive to the idea of us possibly dating, and I kid you not she is perfect. She’s the most beautiful girl I know and we are perfect for each other……but it almost seems pointless with my problem. We hooked up over the summer and all I had to do was just initiate the sex but I didn’t and we didn’t. I was too worried about blowing fast and being a bum in bed.

As far as what I’ve tried, it’s pretty much everything. Recently tried acupuncture after reading about one of the members here who got it done in seattle and it cured him. I’ve done kegels, I tried all the possible supplements with possible connection to ejaculation as well as the SSRI prozac, and tried getting a fake pussy and practicing on that, as well as edging. I have worked on my breathing but it’s so difficult. Listen to this gem: two years ago I was hooking up with a girl, we watched a boring movie and i went to the bathroom 3 times during it to jerk off…when she was stroking me and about to suck me off I blew in like 30 seconds. UNREAL.

I have such a ridiculously high sex drive it’s stupid. I have had blood work done and I know that I’m on the very high scale of normal levels of testerone. I don’t do it but I literally could get hard with any girl, even ugly gross ones and fuck them. This should give you an idea: I got a physical from one of (i know i sound like a jerk here but just being honest) the ugliest woman I have ever seen, and when she pulled my boxers down to check the junk I GOT HARD right in front of her. I went from six to midnight like Cindy F******* Crawford was about to suck me off. LOL.

Guys. I’m not suicidal or super depressed over this, but it wears on me so deeply that I don’t know what to do. Sex is obviously one of the most important things in life, and I feel like I have a thirst that will never get quenched. I’ve got other things going for me in my life like a college sport and writing, but I am held back mentally from achieving even greater things and I believe this problem is the weight.

The one time I ever had control was when I got drunk and took a couple prozac, whatever the combo was it worked. I hooked up w this chick in a room at a party and we made out for like 10 minutes, generally at this point i would be rock hard and feeling that feeling of cumming coming. I didn’t, and we made our way into the bathroom where her clothes came off and I started fucking her (unprotected might I add, not smart but I escaped std free) I couldn’t feel anything really in my dick, so it was pretty cool. However, I have experimented with drinking and prozac and haven’t achieved that since. I actually got hammered, had taken 60 mg of prozac and ended up trying to fuck a chick but came in 30 seconds! That is almost impossible I would think, like seriously, I’m sure if most of you guys did that you wouldn’t even get movement in the old unit.

If you guys have any advice, let me know, I would appreciate it. I read about someone who said weed helped them and another who said opiates helped them, I’m not opposed to either but would like to hear any suggestions. Obviously my problem is deeply psychological at this point, but it’s definitely physiological too.

Sorry for the long post but it actually makes me feel better to write this. I’m going to try Paxil I think, maybe Prozac just isn’t the right fit. I read about King G taking Paxil and it working, although his PE wasn’t as bad as mine. Don’t feel bad about laughing at me for this because I’m laughing at myself lol, if I didn’t I would have jumped off a bridge probably.

You may know by now that our forum software looks for similar threads based on your thread title and presents them (below) for you to read. Also the search button, top right of every page, can be limited to search for titles only on the Advanced Search page. There are a lot of threads on this topic and many offer solutions.

If you start dating the girl from your past and get to the ‘having sex’ part you may want to tell her of your problem. Since she knows you from before it might be easier to talk to her than a totally new girlfriend and she might be receptive to helping you work on it. Your bond would be tighter with this shared secret and you’d still have fun trying to overcome it.

Yeah I’ve looked through the other PreE threads and found some interesting information, I just wanted to see if anyone else had it as bad as I do and if they figured out how to do anything about it.

I agree with what you said but I guess that’s what I’ve always tried to avoid, having that conversation with a girl.

I don’t think you can expect prozac to have the “dulling” effect you’re after if you don’t take it consistently. I know they’ve tried to make a medicine against premature ejaculation from one SSRI or the other, but as far as I know it wasn’t very successful - not everyone has that sideeffect anyways.

KingXX (I think?) took Paroxetin (Seroxat) as have I - the effect was very much dulling, difficult to come.

Thanks I might try that, did you take paroxetin consistently or just when you needed to.

I took it for depression. I don’t recommend taking SSRI’s just for the hell of it, the very purpose of SSRI’s is to mess with your brain. And they tend to have some rather annoying side effects too, just look at the list in the package.

So yes, I took it consistently.

Question, do you have uncontrollable orgasm when you masturbate? If not, it’s a mental game. I’ve had issues with getting off too fast at times, and over the years I worked out that it happens when I am feeling frustrated, or if I’m in a situation I’m not comfortable with. If I pay attention to where my head is at, I can go for months at a time without it ever happening. When it’s happening all the time a big part of the problem is that you are so worried about it, it will. Believe it or not, what worked for me was to find someone I was totally NOT into, who was totally into me, and train myself to just relax and enjoy the sensations. Then when I was with people I was into, I had that memory of lasting as long as I want to, so I knew it was possible.

By uncontrollable, do you mean how I described when I’m with a woman, like the feeling of cumming builds even with little or no contact at times until I pretty much just blow? No way, I can masturbate with lube at a good pace for a couple of minutes and if I focus can last more. Without lube, same thing but probably longer. I can masturbate for pretty much as long as I want if I focus, but if I wanted to come through masturbation and did it as hard as I could, flexing my pc, I could blow in probably 45 seconds, although I never do this anymore.

It’s funny that you should say that finding someone that you’re not into makes it better for you. I tend to get with girls that I’m not attracted to (other than just being super horny all the time b/c I’ve really never had good sex) and maybe the guilt or realization that I’m just getting with them b/c I want to practice on them for really hot girls, makes my problem worse.

I don’t know, I’ve avoided all kinds of beautiful woman because I don’ want to disappoint them, but then when I get with less than pretty girls, the problem is worse. I think I’m going to try paroxetine, prozac didn’t help me very much.

Hi

I have a quite opposite problem. Now I’m 27, but when I was at your age, I didn’t have problems with ejaculation or erection while dating ladies. Then, because of intense masturbation, heavy PE and porn-addiction my both my penis and brain have become much less sensitive. Because my cocks has adjusted to the tough grip of my hand, it is often not enough aroused by a pussy or mouth and I need to masturbate it during an intercourse. My porn-addiction has led to the state where I don’t find ordinary chicks so exciting, as I did before, when I was a young romantic sucker. So, now even when I spend my time with 2 more or less attractive ladies I sometimes have to simultaneously fantasize about my favorite pornstars to stay erected. So, now I have to increase sensitivity of my dick by masturbating it very slowly and with only the tips of my fingers.

You remedy is completely opposite to mine. I don’t know about the physiological side of the problem, but the psychological side can be rectified. The problem that you are too romantic and overexcited. Relax, man. RELAX. These are just chicks. You may be even silly enough to have deep feelings to them. That’s not a problem, at your age I also dreamed about romantic relationships. But even then I was much more spoilt and depraved than you are. I’d recommend you to watch a lot of very dirty-dirty movies, the nastiest porn scenes - group sex, gang-bang, bukkake, etc. Search these videos with the most beautiful actresses - e.g. Bridgette B, Shyla Styles, Tera Patric, Silvia Saint and so on.

Man, I doubt that all the chicks you admire are prettier than top porn-stars. No offence, in fact I think they are much less attractive, being ordinary chicks next door.

You just have to become accustomed that even the most beautiful porn stars are easily used by dozens of studs and covered with gallons of sperm. After all these scenes you will be much calmer when an ordinary lady unzips your trousers and puts you your dick in her mouth. Perhaps, you will even encounter the opposite problems like I do.

You know, literally last week I took part in a sex-party. Two porn-stars (though not as famous as those I’ve mentioned) were begging me to cum on their faces and tits. I found it quite easy to restrain for a quite long time though I’m really a big fan of one of them and like her as a performer and personality. This ability doesn’t come overnight, it takes some experience. You are in a quite disadvantageous position in this sense. But if you consistently desensitize your mind and body, you will see minor results in 1-2 months and a major breakthrough in 6-12 months. Just stuck in it, there is no shortcut. And all the rest of your life you will enjoy a quality sex life.

Good luck!

Thanks for your advice, it is interesting and I’ve never thought about trying to desensitize my mind nor heard anyone else suggest it. I’ve actually always thought watching porn and masturbating alot would make the problem worse but then again even though I enjoy porn I rarely watch it.

Man, then you should definitely try this very pleasurable remedy. Just believe me. I know what I’m talking about. I wasn’t exactly in your shoes when I was 21. But I perfectly understand your troubles and fears. Actually, when I was 18 I had a contact with a 40 year old woman with a large breast. She unveiled her boobs and I started rubbing my cock on them. I cum just in 40 or 50 seconds. Luckily, I’m multi-orgasmic and a really good repeater (5-6 times in an hour even now), so it wasn’t an enormous problem then. Perhaps, this feature let me feel more confident.

You never heard about desensitization - both physical and emotional??
Comrade, it’s a very very very wide-spread problem. And a largely an unspoken problem, especially in your puritan America, as I can guess. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Physical: men get accustomed to their hands and don’t get enough stimulation to cum from women, because they squeeze their dicks too much while wanking. Women’s mouths and vaginas can’t reproduce such an intense stimulation, so these man need to stroke themselves to keep erected while sexual intercourse, especially when using condoms.

Emotional (psychological): men don’t fancy their wifes or gfs ‘cause they got accustomed to the most exciting, nasty and exotic porn scenes (e.g. Threesomes, foursomes, double-anal, bukkake) with beautiful ladies. After this sexual filthy paradise they have to return into monotonous reality to their ordinary dull partners and to their woolly cunts. Naturally, some men find it very onerous to penetrate everyday the same pussy of their ordinary partners.

Let me assure you, 5-10 weeks of every-day’s watching of the best American porn will slash your problems at least by 50%. Just give it a try. And feel free to PM me, if you need (for a question or in several months just to tell me how grateful you for my advice).

And the last point - at the age of 21 your life only begins. Let me repeat - only begins. At the party I mentioned in my previous post there was a 67-year-old gentleman. With a very decent erection even in comparison with us, young guys. And he banged those hot pornstars not worse than we - 20-30 year-old blokes did. So, don’t panic. You have an absolutely manageable problem. You have at least 50 years of active sexual life ahead, if you are not a fool. Spend the next several months of your life watching porno. There are hundreds of thousands attractive women in the world. They won’t disappear. Some of them will suck your dick in just several months. Just make yourself more conditioned by watching porn movies.

I think I’ve only ever tried to desensitize myself physically, meaning make my penis less sensitive to stimulation. I’ve definitely never thought about emotional desensitization through hardcore porn because I always believed, and other people have said this here, that watching porn will get you too aroused too fast and you should be trying to control that arousal.

But I do believe you have a valid point, because a lot of it is certainly mental with me.

Usually they say about the excessive arousal because of porn in an utterly different context - I.e. With relation to PE. Of course, when you need to be semi-hard to perform your PE routine (lets say jelqs or stretches), porn may make you too hard to do the exercises. And I myself can also confirm that when I do my PE routine I often watch porn and sometimes my dick becomes too firm to proceed. Then I take a 1-2 minute break till erection subsides.

But in the context of increasing the threshold of excitement which you need to reach to ejaculate, porn is a tremendously helpful thing. It DOES increase this threshold and make you much less perceptive to women’s charms.

And in this context you shouldn’t control your arousal. It is absolutely natural that your dick gets erected when you see hot chicks. That’s just an evidence you are a healthy heterosexual man. Your task is just not to cum prematurely. And this task implies that you ought to heighten your psychological threshold of sex excitement and eventually it will lead you to the state when you won’t cum immediately just because you penetrated the pussy or mouth, or grabbed a couple of big tits.

Another tip which I can suggest to you (though it’s not as useful as porn) - is to use a pump on a regular basis. Just buy a cheap one for 15-20 bucks. After staying in a pump for 7-10 minutes under very low pressure you penis will be much fuller than usually. After that I’d recommend you too masturbate. If you manage to control your ejaculation in the expanded state, it will be easier for you to do it under the natural conditions.

Naturally, you can combine porn and the pump and get a combined, synergistic effect.

I’m afraid these are the only 2 measures which I can recommend to you from my knowledge and life-experience. And I used them myself though the scale of my problem was less significant. And they perfectly WORKED for me. I don’t see any sense in proceeding this discussion, ‘cause in recent years I’ve become too earthy a person and can hardly bear theorizing and clever-clever speculating. Let’s leave it to academics, they really need it for upholding their image.

Let me once again wish you the very best in combating you troubles. And should you try my recipe with consistency and diligence, please PM me and inform on the results. I’ll be very glad if I’ve proven more or less helpful.

Good luck!