The Lube Review

Lube Review- This is my semi-comprehensive list of shit I’ve tortured my penis with, feel free to add or critique 🙃

Sweet almond- dries up too fast.

Grape seed oil - Removes label paint from stickers on tube, must have a citrus type cleanser effect. Otherwise stays slick and works quite well.

Jojoba- dries up too fast.

Red Palm- can stain, no good.

Palmers cocoa butter- Is ok other then the chemicals and expense. Lubes pretty good.

Olive oil- Can be messy and leaves greasy, a bit tacky, expensive as well.

Avocado- Too sticky and expensive.

KY jelly/water based personal lubes- chemicals and dry up too fast, expensive, can be sticky and clean up usually needed.

Marketed pumping/jelq lubes- Ones I’ve tried slick up well but can be messy, require clean up, are full of chemicals and overpriced, have to Internet order and have shipped.

Raw Shea butter- Works very well, similar to Palmers, stays slick and lasts. Does good under heat, melts in hand but for pumping will leave residue in tube after use once cooled.

Coconut oil- Organic unrefined cold pressed extra virgin, no chemicals, great moisturizer, stays slick and lasts. Melts in hand. No penis clean up needed. Will cool and solidify in tube at room temp, removal from tube requires a good hot washing.

Fractionated coconut oil- This type remains in liquid state at room temp and the odor is not as strong as the regular kind. It transfers easily to a smaller travel size lotion bottle. It stays slick for jelqing or pumping, makes a good tube seal. No real clean up needed on body, keeps tube lubed for later use (if you choose). Careful not to spill on furniture fabrics, will leave a grease spot. Cleans pretty easily from tubes also. This is a good “go to” lube. It’s not very cheap, but has better lasting power then most.

Tallow- Yes, I’ve actually tried this for pumping as it works so well for skin care. It stays slick and melts on skin like other saturated fats but makes tube cleaning too much as you almost need a degreaser to remove it. For those unaware, tallow is an animal fat, it is to a cow what lard is to pig. It’s not just beef fat, it’s rendered from the suet around the kidney area of a (grass-fed) cow. It’s make up is nearly identical to that of our own skin and is a highly stable fat with many uses.

For shower jelqing- a good hair conditioner works great. The Shea Moisture brand, (Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner), works very well. Just a dollop keeps lubed up a good five minutes straight. This brand is not cheap but their product line many swear by, and the ingredients are about as natural as you’re going to find in personal care products.

Vaseline and other commercial lotions- While Vaseline does make a good “all purpose lube”, it is a petrol derivative- petroleum jelly. When used for pumping it can over time break down and degrade the tube plastic or acrylic. With that in mind, why use such a product on skin for any length of time? I’m sure motor oil works great as well and grandpa used to clean his hands with gasoline but I’d be hesitant to rub this on my cock on a daily basis.. All these other “moisturizing lotions”, many of which are petroleum based should also be avoided. Just read the labels, do you know what all those long chemical names are and their safety status? Many are known carcinogens and also xenoestrogens. The only estrogens I want my dick exposed to are the naturally occurring ones inside the female sex pot.

Vegetable oils- These should not be used. “Vegetable” is used as a cover word and could contain corn, soy, canola ect, any and all. These oils are all now GMO and using them on skin, or for eating for that matter, is just ludicrous. They also contain carcinogens and xenoestrogens. Same with anything hydrogenated, many aren’t aware what exactly this word means..

“Hydrogenation: This is the process that turns polyunsaturates, normally liquid at room temperature, into fats that are solid at room temperature—margarine and shortening. To produce them, manufacturers begin with the cheapest oils—soy, corn, cottonseed or canola, already rancid from the extraction process—and mix them with tiny metal particles—usually nickel oxide. The oil with its nickel catalyst is then subjected to hydrogen gas in a high-pressure, high-temperature reactor. Next, soap-like emulsifiers and starch are squeezed into the mixture to give it a better consistency; the oil is yet again subjected to high temperatures when it is steam-cleaned. This removes its unpleasant odor. Margarine’s natural color, an unappetizing grey, is removed by bleach. Dyes and strong flavors must then be added to make it resemble butter. Finally, the mixture is compressed and packaged in blocks or tubs and sold as a health food.”

So don’t be fooled that just because you can buy it in a store that it is really safe for use, this is big corporate money here, due diligence is a must in this day and age. Your best interests are not theirs.

-So, I have tried many things, some work, some don’t, some are best avoided. I probably have forgotten some as well. Even though I didn’t specify on all, the oils I played around with were organic or as close to natural as I could get. Many believe that if you can’t or wouldn’t eat it, you shouldn’t put it on your skin. The basis for this is your skin will absorb things you apply to it- trans-dermal, this is how nicotine patches and the like work. This is why we wear gloves when working with certain chemicals also. Common sense would dictate we not poison ourselves via our body’s largest most absorbent organ, the skin.

Hopefully this helps some of you, and if you have used something that works good, please do share with us 😎

Agreed. Used both (not together) and they are messy to clean up. Shea require quite some heat to stay in liquid form.

Between these two, I would stick on shea butter all the way … the “slippery” from it is way superior.

I have noticed that shea butter, after 1 hour mark, either dry up or got quickly absorbed by the skin.

Price: here, pure shea butter is almost 3 times the price of an extra virgin coconut oil.

Hi Useless,

Not sure what part of the world you’re in, I’ve spent some time away from here and see the look of the site has changed quite a bit. Used to be able to see member location, post count and such. Not sure if this has to do with being on my phone, like a mobile version, if this can be changed in settings or whatnot..

Anyway, I don’t remember exact price for the butter but it was not cheap off eBay at that. The coconut oil brand I get is $10 USD for 14 oz, so not cheap either though I get several months per jar and I use full body almost daily. The Shea does remain somewhat waxy but as you said stays slippery. I normally use heat when pumping so melting not so much an issue. The clean up is what sucks when you got like 3 or 4 tubes to wash haha. Good dedicated sponge wands seem to be getting harder to find locally too for some reason :-/

I have sitting before me a 4 oz bottle of organic pure evening primrose oil. It’s only a matter of time before I get into testing that, and you don’t even wanna know the cost lol 😬

Wouldn’t the main concern be the quality of lube to use because you are putting this on your unit?

Damn it, very good work, thanks you very much.

Now, I´m using Albolene, is a face mostuirizing cleanser. It unscented, easy to clean and last quite good.
I was using too, coconut oil + shea butter (50%-50%) of each, it was pretty good but I didn´t like the after clean.

Thanks for the comprehensive list, Decent07. I’ve been a big fan of VacuLube for pumping and general PE since the first time I tried several years ago and have never really bothered looking at anything else. I may look at some of these alternatives (even though a jar lasts me a long time, the stuff isn’t cheap).

Yes, pretty sure I touched on that aspect quite a bit actually O.o

Never tried mixing them, sounds like too much work yeah haha. Maybe give the liquid coconut a try, cleans pretty easy.. Albolene sounds familiar, not sure what all may be in it but even these higher end moisturizers can be full of the same toxic crap as cheap ones. Sometimes you’re just paying for the name and fancy container. Read the ingredients always friend.

Sure man.. Just got back from Vitamin World, had a BOGO special on some oils so picked up some apricot kernel oil to try. I use these oils for other concoctions as well so no biggie if it’s a no go.. Vaculube, I used several jars a few years back and yes, it is pricy. Overpriced in my opinion and I didn’t think that little jar lasted long enough for that price. And it seems very similar to a Vaselene though I don’t remember what all is in it. I likely switched while procrastinating my expensive order and fuck that shipping wait too.

Yeah, that´s what I don´t like, I´d rather only put oils and all of that organic stuff but I need to find the right choice.

I want to try cocoa butter or mixing shea butter with something to make it smoothy. Or an aloe vera pure lube.

Try a coconut oil then, if you find you don’t like it you can always cook with it, eat it, use in your hair, use it full body, tanning lotion, after tan lotion. It’s anti fungal properties make it great for skin care needs, massage ect..

I make my own natural aloe vera gel, to get the right consistency it ought not be too runny or it’s a mess. The skin also has the tendency to drink this stuff in fast and can leave a touch of sticky residue. I would not recommend this for a lube.

I have seen pure cocoa butter for sale before but passed it up because it was expensive for a small jar, like $8 for a few oz. Also to keep in mind this butter will most likely go through a deodorizing process because the butter naturally will have a very powerful smell, it’s not very pleasant actually.

You left out bacon fat! Just teasing. Nice work!

Good post. I’ve used vaseline in my tubes for over a year and a half now with no damage to them. I think that is a myth, or perhaps it may damage the tube over a period of 100 years, but I’ll be huge by then.

I don’t leave it out when making a proper shaving soap 😜 But because I spend more time handling my dick then I do shaving I’d rather leave the lard for soaping and some cooking. Hard to only grass feed a pig cause they eat anything they can get into or given to them, fat lil fuckers O.o

Used vaseline for years and my cylinder looks great. It’s just not clean up friendly.