What Happened

Long time lurker, first post. First found out about this intriguing website in my search for an explanation to a problem. My problem is that I require a great deal of stimulation to get hard. I have dealt, or have not dealt with it, for over seven years. It seemed to start after a breakup with a longtime girlfriend and through the course of time manifested into something bad. I guess, after countless web searches, that I suffer from ED. I have made doctor visits, tried drugs like Viagra, talked to therapists, and tried so many different herbs. Drugs are a bit overkill, while herbs don’t seem to do much for me. The doctor does not seem to care as he always suggests the drugs. The therapist only helped me realize what an anxious person I am, and I am now breathing deeply more often. I do not know what the problem is. I can watch porno and WHAM! It’s ready to go. I get to some heavy petting with my SO and I’m hard. When it comes time to dance, I lose it. I thought maybe it’s psychological, but I am no doctor. All my physicals showed that I was mostly healthy with a higher than normal cholesterol level. I am naturally high strung and my job is somewhat stressful. I do not believe that to be a factor, because this problem became evident when I was 26 and life was not too demanding for me. I can have sex, although sometimes it takes a lot to get it started. I exercise regularly, take men’s vitamins, and chow down on L-Arginine (4000mg a day). I quit smoking three years ago, and can now hold my breath for over a minute. All I want is my boner back.

After countless hours of researching, I found myself here at Thunder’s. I have to say, I’m impressed. I had taken up PE out of curiosity only after lurking for about a month. I have noticed some changes in flaccid and erect girth, but not so much for length. I am more in it for penis health rather than the 9x6 billyclub. I also have to say that my girlfriend began wondering if IT was getting bigger. I never told her what I was up to. She has been very understanding about my issue, but is fearful that there may be more to worry about than a limp dick. So, I guess it is that time in my story to ask some of the members here “What Happened”??

1) Has anyone experienced these or similar symptoms? If yes, what did you do?
2) Will PE help me get my boner back? If yes, what exercises benefited you the most?
3) Has long term use of L-Arginine been studied?
4) What herbs have helped some members with getting and maintaining erections?

I would appreciate input as I am becoming more depressed daily. My condition does not keep me from having sex, more like playing pool with a rope until it decides to stiffen up. After all the prep work, sex is enjoyable.especially with a fatter penis.

2) Look into kegels!

1) Yes, only when I’m somewhat nervous/anxious. Just relax, and be selfish. Worked for me because I always worried about whether or not I was doing the right thing. It still happens every once in a while.

2) Jelqing, cable clamps, vacuum pump with porn.

3) No idea

4) Try Stamina-RX from bodybuilding.com

Try 2 pills of 500 mg of Peruvian Maca, you’ll be surprised. Take it 45 minutes before the game or 1 hour. you can use it as a daily suplement but I rather use it o especial ocasions.

I appreciate all your suggestions and am looking forward to reading more. I have to say that my problem is recurring and happens most often times. If it’s just my mind, then I should be to levitate and shoot fire from my eyes also. This problem has gotten me down because I cannot bang like I did in my youth. Not even close. I have tried Maca, Horny goat weed, yohimbe and the likes. I do not want to use them regularly but do enjoy the effects of them on occasion. I just hope that with some advice I can find a way to overcome this. Like I said before, my HMO GP wants to sell more Viagra. I feel like I share something personal with the guy in hopes of a solution and then I get herded into a waiting room to wait for a sample pack of Viagra. Stuff works like mad, though. I felt like I could punch holes in walls. Anyways, I appreciate any support/info. I know there is a way.hypnosis, maybe?

BloodHammer,

From what you have said…it TOTALLY psychological!

Performance anxiety! You lost your confidence for what ever reason, and now you get worried that you will go soft…so of course you go soft.

Let me give you a little science lesson.

Erections are controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system. That is the part of your system that turns on when you are relaxed. Blood vessels throughout your body relax,blood pressure goes down, motility of the digestive system works harder. Basically all the things your body needs to do to relax and repair.

The opposite is the sympathetic nervous system. That is the “fight or flight” part of the nervous system. It makes the heart race, blood vessels contract, blood pressure go up, palms sweat, adrenaline release into the blood stream. This was all designed by nature to help you survive emergencies like being chased by a large animal that wants to eat you!

So, how does that relate to you? For you (anyone) to have a good hard erection…it is TOTAL parasympathetic! The more relaxed you are, the better it works.

Turn on the sympathetic…the hardest erection will melt like butter on a Phoenix sidewalk in July! (think cops shining a light through the window of your Dads Oldsmobile when you are doing your high school sweetie)

So ( I’m getting to the point) the problem you ( and thousands like you) have fallen into is that you have lost confidence in your ability to penetrate a nice pink buttered bun ( I know, I’m a real poet).

When the time comes, you start to panic a little (turning on sympathetic) and as you panic…you feel the old woodie start to fade. As you feel it starting to fade….real panic now sets in (raging sympathetic system fully on) and of course at that point…you can forget it.

So, sometimes just knowing how it works is helpful.

How do you get past it? Its a self reinforcing feedback loop,which is why it can continue for so long.

What ever it takes to build back your confidence. Once you begin to feel confident that you can do it, you will stay relaxed and nature will take its course.

I think it is important to have a steady relationship with a gal you can explain all this to. If you know that even if you get soft at first, that she will just hang out and be playful for enough time for you to relax again…it will help YOU relax.

This is hard to get past if you are going on lots of first dates and one nite stands…too much anxiety!

If you need to start with some small dose of viagra or cialis at first and slowly taper your dose smaller and smaller…that can be helpful.

Hypnosis may also be good, sounds like it should/could be helpful.

The bottom line is that the sooner you relax about this and don’t take it so seriously, the quicker you will get past it.

Good luck,
Sparkyx

Thanks for the input sparkyx. I feel that it may be psychological because of all the thought I put into it before I even get her panties off. “Is it going to work?” or “I hope that this time I don’t have to struggle with it” have been racing through my head every time I was with someone new. I am lucky to have an SO who is supportive and realizes that all I need is that little extra touch. I have tried pills and they have their place for that all night session. They make their way into my shave kit when I go to Vegas with the little lady. I am going to try hypno therapy, more specifically, a hypnosis CD from Wendi.com. It’s called virtual Viagra and it seems to focus mostly on the negativity we may have created subconsciously. If anyone here has tried anything of the sort, please advise. I don’t want to waste money.

Its not subconscious….its very conscious!

You get nervous that you will have problems…activates the sympathetic system and erection deflates…no more complex than that.

If you realize its the nervousness thats doing it, it should take some of the mystery out of whats happening.

The tape sounds it may be good.

Turn your head around. Or turn it partway off.

The best sex scenes you see on TV or in movies are those where the actors seem not to be acting, but instead are getting into the moment. You are thinking about the moment, not getting into it. They are thinking about the moment, but they are being paid to do what they are doing. You, though, are the unpaid star.

How will I get her panties off? Will my cock go up? And on. And on.

You don’t need erectile drugs. You just need to relax into sex, is what I get from what you wrote. :)

It has proven very difficult to fix. I mean, things kind of just happened all of a sudden and got worse. I do not know what may have caused any anxiety as I always considered myself a good lover. I’m a good 6.125x4.75 BPEL, so I don’t think I was ever worried about my size. I’m comfortable with it. After lurking for a while and finally giving PE a chance, I noticed mostly girth gains. I’m excited to continue with my regimen but don’t care too much for the “Baby Elephant trunk holding an apple”. 7x6 would certainly make her squeal, though. I have tried relaxing more and having a righteous girlfriend helps. Just last night it was up and working through limited foreplay. Just kissing and stuff. I do take L-Arginine, but I workout regularly and like it for the increased blood flow during my routine. Found it to be helpful if taken prior to PE. My routine consists of:

Workout:5 days
2 mile jog
1 hour lifting (various muscle groups-different days-Bench, curls, lats and squats)
3 sets 20 crunches

PE:4-5 days
5 min warmup
10 minutes stretching with kegels
20 minutes wet jelq
Hot Shower

This done 4-5 days a week works wonders. My erections are more rigid and my willis looks more muscular. The only problem has been with getting it started (erections). Like you guys have stated, once I start getting anxious, it does not help matters. The more I worry the further back I get. I hope that by talking to more than just my doctor and girlfriend, I can find a solution with all of your (members) help. I want to thank you guys (and gals) for taking the time to read my post and lend me some advice. It is all being absorbed.