Apres moi le deluge.

Well, since registration is open again, I suppose the floodgates will soon be overflowing with newbies and the resulting newbie questions.

Oh, wait, I’m a newly-registered newbie too..

Well, I’ll try to be a good citizen and not make a fool of myself, at least not until I’m well established. Meanwhile I’ll just sit in the corner and quietly take notes, and occasionally interject if I can actually HELP with anything.

Just here to say hi and welcome!

Oh dear, I’ve misspelled my user name. Guess I’ll be stuck with that typo forever now.

PM a mod, they can change it :D

As long as I’m introducing myself..

My present stats are 6” BPEL and 5” circumference. Sort of the standard Kinsey statistical mean model, a government issue WASP penis. It’s a grower, too, flaccid it’s barely 2” long, half glans and half shaft. I’m an older guy, in my late 40s.

I have quite a bit of experience with foreskin restoration, having gone from a moderately tight cut to mostly full coverage over a period of nine years with some breaks. I haven’t made any progress with the restoration in quite some time, though, so I’ve decided to give it a rest for a while and start on a PE regimen. Assuming that I am able to achieve some success with PE, I have to wonder if the skin will keep up with any penile growth, or if the penis will tend to outgrow the skin?

I’ll not embarrass myself with any lofty goal numbers for now, I’d just like to see where this can take me. Mostly I think I’d just like for it to feel like a big hefty handful. But between foreskin restoration and weight lifting, I think I have a good understanding of how to deal with the ups and downs of a long-term self-improvement project.

I’m a divorced father of two college-age children, and can count on one hand the number of women I’ve been “with”. When I married my high school sweetheart, she was the only woman I’d ever had sex with. I quit college before I finished and became a blue collar tradesman (electrician) so I could put her through nursing school. Years later I found out the slut bitch had been fucking various doctors for close to two decades before she finally left me for one. I went through a period where I decided that fucking doctors’ wives would be good karmic payback, but I outgrew that.

The middle-age dating scene isn’t really working out for me, so I’ve just stopped trying for a while. Meeting women in bars just doesn’t do it for me, and I think I kind of scare them because I’m a huge hairy mass of humanity. I’m a 6’3” 350 pound weight lifter dude with a pretty respectable gut too. I look like a furry Baby Huey. My thighs are about 34” around, which makes the smallish penis look even smaller. That, and it’s lost in a forest of hair. Hence my interest in enlargement.

Welcome to Thunders Churchy!

6”3” 350 huh? Your a big boy! Your thighs are bigger than my waist line. I think I’ll go hide now.

May your stay here be pleasant, enlightening and productive. Read, read read, then read some more. Use the search function when you want to find something out, it really does work well. And if you can’t find it, ask, someone will show you the way.

One thing you can do to get “immediate” results is to trim the forest back. Amazing growth happens ;)
Of course then you have to keep trimming, the hair does tend to grow back. Do not, I repeat, do not use Nair, we have had horror stories about nair. (God that would hurt)

Thanks!

I look scary but I’m harmless. Well, almost harmless, unless you’re standing between me and the squat rack. Or you’re a homeowner; what could be more frightening than a pseudo-intellectual tradesman who fancies himself an amateur philosopher, while his hairy butt crack is hanging out of his pants?

I’m new here but I know the ropes on how to be a good message board citizen. I have other hobbies.

I’ve been known to do some light trimming down there. I’m gonna have to make some room down there if I’m gonna be working it with my hands every day. Beyond that, depilating would be a losing battle, I think the only parts of me that don’t grow hair are my palms, soles, nose, and forehead. I got a double-whammy of fur DNA from my Scots and Danish ancestors.

People in the lifting game always assume that I’m a powerlifter ‘cause I look like one, but I’m really just a casual lifter who likes to lift heavy things. I’m not much of a disciplined lifter, I just eat a lot, lift heavy things, and get big. The guys I lift with hate that about me, ‘cause it all comes too easily for me and they think I take it for granted.

I do look good in kilts though.

Welcome Churchy (misspelled my ass, you did it on purpose and I think it’s great!),

Hmmm. Not your usual newbie. Witty, articulate, can tell a good story. Very “self aware.” You’ll do well here. Thanks for not asking “what’s a Kegel?”

Gee, gawrsh, thanks, I bet you say that to all the guys. [Blush] And I didn’t even graduate college.

Churchy La Femme was the name of the turtle character in the old comic strip “Pogo”. It was one character too long when I was registering here, so I removed a space. The “e” was a accident. But I’ll leave it, ‘cause now I’ve created an e-mail address with the same misspelling.

Churchy,

Welcome to the forum. You will do great here. Having struggled with a weight problem my whole adult life, I will tell you that my dick grew about 3 inches when I lost weight. No offense intended but you are a big guy.

You will learn a ton of stuff around here, some of it maybe even useful. (just kidding)

Keep us updated on your progress and be sure to ask westla90069 (personally) if masturbation affects gains. He likes that a lot.

Sorry to hear about the wife, I would have done the same thing with the doctors wives.

789

I’m not quite as fat as my stats make me sound. I sincerely doubt I’ve got a 9” monster lurking under my pubic fat pad.

One thing I’m going to have to get used to, though, is that with my big paws and big thighs and small thing, there’s not a whole lot of room down there to work in. But I think that’s one of the primary reasons why I want to explore PE, so that my unit will feel more substantial in my hands. I swear, sometimes it seems like I’m jerking off with tweezers.

Churchy

I hear you on the being big and that making you feel small thing. I like to date girls with small hands it makes me feel good about myself. Where the same height but you have a 100 plus pounds on me and I’m pretty muscular so you most be huge. You should get on a routine here and start cutting at the gym you would properly be pretty impressive my this time next year. Well welcome to thunders you seem like you might be some fun to have around.

Cutting? Is that the thing where you have to eat less and - gasp! Shudder! - Do cardio?

Every time I’ve tried that, the first time I noticed any signs of reduced strength in the gym, I drowned my sorrows in a couple of extra-large pizzas.