EQ Conundrum - Help Please

Not sure about my nocturnal EQ as I sleep like a (loud) log and don’t wake up during the night although when I have morning wood (maybe 70% of the time) it’s as hard as a rock - just doesn’t last real long when we have sex which kind of supports your point doesn’t it.

I think it’s likely some of all three issues - dick abuse, having ignored my fitness for too long & being overly concerned about performance. Just hope that all three are helped by deemphasizing PE and putting the energy towards some fitness goals for a couple months. Definitely appreciate the input.

Yeah no problem. If you’re getting rock hard morning wood then to me that says your body is able. In other words the mechanism by which you get erections is functioning.

Taking care of your body is a good step in my opinion, regardless. I wish you the best in relaxing and relieving stress. Lifting some heavy weight off the ground and running or swimming are great stress relievers. I’ve got to get to the cardio side of things myself… that and cut out my preworkout drink (way too much caffeine.)

Thanks Richard65 - it did feel good and is quite doable with a couple of parks I’m fortunate to have close by - really no excuses. And I hear you on the 20k - I could easily get obsessed about it but I’m gonna listen up (plus I just don’t have the time).

I’ll work up to a bigger number slowly over the next six months and I know you’re right – several years ago I walked about 13k steps a day and every part of life was better (blood pressure, clarity of thought, sex, etc.). Just got out of the habit so this EQ problem & roundabout kick in the butt is actually a good thing. Again, thanks for the insights and taking the time to share.

Good morning EQ and poor performance EQ for me was due mostly to:

Worrying too much about not ejaculating and not just enjoying the feeling. Concentrate on the physical sensations including but not limited to your penis, it helps.

Also, because of the above, I came to subconsciously rely on kegaling for keeping an erection, and when the muscles got tired, I would lose the erection quite quickly. Edging while completely relaxed or reverse kegeling helped this quite a bit.

If your EQ falls, in my eyes that is a sign for a no holds barred plan.

When mine fell, I immediately optimized diet, exercise, and most of all mental perspective. This took months, but EQ is now as resilient as ever. Basically, get your body on an accelerating fitness path, don’t fill your body with trash, and purge your mind of any thoughts that are harmful. Show no mercy, EQ is worth it.

I would start on the physical side, work on diet and exercise. Don’t do what other people want you to do, and don’t fall for any fads. Do what works for you alone.

Next step is to target the mind. Basically, find a way to make your own mental filter to block any negative thoughts. Doubting yourself is bad, and even thinking you have ED is bad.

Keep working on these, and you will improve. It worked for me, and I knew it would because I didn’t give the option to fail.

Hi QL

That sounds really great and I’m happy you find a way to integrate sufficient walking into your daily agenda.

If you want a real challenge which is a bit more reasonable than the 20k number it would be commuting by foot. I suppose you go to work by car. Now I don’t know how Columbus OH is in terms of public transport and how long your commuting distance is.

I commute by train, and a couple of days per month I get off one station too early and walk the last 5 miles home. It’s great because when I then arrive at home not only I made a lot of steps, but my mind is completely purged from all the sorrows of work.

Now this is depending not only in distance, but in other circumstances like safety, good paths, attractiveness of the surrounding neighbourhoods and, especially in the US, the chance to get controlled by a police patrol. Wouldn’t recommend to do it in South LA, but maybe it’s feasible in your neighbourhood.

I proposed this to a guy I met in NYC and he now walks over 40 blocks 3 times a week. But as he is a heavy-muscle 7-foot frame, he is not that easily agressed. And over the first 6 months, he has lost some 30 pounds…

So, could that be an idea at your place and work circumstances?

True - out of the starting gate I’m good but not crossing the finish line. So that leaves the conundrum of, are some interrelated systems out of whack to the degree which contributes to the sustainability problem (along with the monkeys in my head that apparently don’t want me to enjoy the fruits of my labour).

Spot on! And I think a mix of lifting and walking is what I’ll do cuz they hit the mind/body in a couple different ways and the lifting in particular is hugely beneficial for testosterone production (which they say influences the ability to even get an erection) AND like you said, I get stress relief in the process even if it’s not the core issue with my EQ (unfortunately I’ve nowhere to pursue swimming). The trick now is to fit it all in and make it a habit. Good luck with your efforts as well Lilhelp!

Yeah, there’s definitely some anxiety in play now that this has happened repeatedly. I know porn didn’t help and that rewiring of the brain for anxiety issues and/or arousal issues related to porn takes time. So I’m doing all I know to do: better diet, exercising, waiting it out now that I’ve finally developed some resolve to get back on the no porn/no fap bandwagon and trying to let go of the worry - if I do the work, both mentally & physically, I’m believing this will resolve. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts & experiences Ddiggity.

Lol! Great summary Fornestruct and a multi-pronged approach is pretty much what I’ve settled on. Like you said, I can’t give myself the option to fail. I know we’re all different but about how long did it take you to turn things around? Also, were you having to kick porn and/or fap or was that not a factor for you?

Cool idea but unfortunately not an option for me. Things are safe enough that I could park a mile or two away from work and walk in but then I’d be navigating busy streets & thoroughfares (breathing exhaust & avoiding grumpy drivers).

Gonna have to stick with a couple nearby parks but they’re on the order of small forests with several miles of wooded trails so I’m good. Just gotta get out and do it.

Every day.

I’m up to 8,000 steps today so a good walk with the dog should get me there tonight (sorry you can’t have a dog man!). Getting ramped up to do a couple workouts per week in 2-3 weeks so feeling good about the possibility of feeling good again.

Thanks for the ideas - I may yet figure out a way to work then in (at my former job I had a path that cut across the backs of a bunch of properties in an industrial park and a college - lots of varied terrain). Time to pull out Google maps…

It took me 7 months (Nov 2016 to June 2017) to get my EQ back where it was pre november. In november, I wasn’t able to get past a 30% errction, and even there the erection lasted 10 seconds on average.

I actually was porn free at this time that my EQ tanked. But all else failed, so I resorted to porn just to release, for 2 months (kind of reverse).

Porn was only a minor issue for me, I never spent too much time on it. Most of the time was spent learning the spiritual aspect of the body. I have found the western context in which I was raised is excellent for learning how to heal the body and mind physically, but is abysmal as spiritual healing. I would never use therapy either, since it is just someone working for a paycheck, and I wouldn’t feel it is genuine. Only you can solve your deepest problems, and spiritual ideas from all cultures (e.g. mantak chia) can give you the tools to solve them.

That was the missing link for me at least. Maximizing all of these perspectives to solve your problems is the best that can be done in my opinion.

Wow - counting my blessings right now.

Ironic but how cool that you could choose to lay it aside - it just rules me if I go there.

Ya, I had a nuero-muscular therapist that taught me about the grey matter we have outside of our brains (in the gut, heart, the complexes adjacent to the spinal cord responsible for coordinating the basics of walking, etc,), which are part of our nervous system that we’re not consciously aware of but neverthekess interact with the brain and can even “store trauma” from the past. Then there’s the interaction of our “energy” system with which chiropractors & acupuncturists are familiar and our internal biome that some believe contains more DNA percentage-wise than the human host (and some scientists question if sentience on the part of the body and/or biome exists to control the interactions of the two systems that in terms of the trillions of cells are uncomprehendingly huge. Just saying I’m tracking with you because even in 2017 there’s lots we don’t understand but which goes right along existing and influencing us in ways western science & religion don’t consider.

I get that perspective and for a long time it was mine but I’ve gotten some profound help from several different counselors that were deeply spiritual people (which is to say a Buddhist, a Catholic & a Christian - sounds like the beginnings of a bar joke?). It saved my marriage and quite probably my life (and opened my eyes greatly to a spiritual world of which I was unaware).

Couldn’t agree more and am underway on all of them - again appreciate the reinforcement!

And drum roll please. Not saying I’m outta the woods but with just a week of walking underway (not 10k a day but much more than before Richard65 chimed in) and no porn or masturbation, finally got to finish the deed! Thanks for all the input - still a work in progress but much relieved in more ways then one..

Well that’s good news.

Excellent news.