springer 240:
I’m feeling you here man. Back in the day (say 16-21 yrs. old) I had a hell of a time with quick coming- not exactly premature per-se, but a very fast cummer nonetheless.
One of the main things I addressed as I moved forwards and away from quick cumming was my mental fantasies. It turns out that my fantasies worked a little too well. Sure, they got me hard as hell and really ready to GO, but they also pushed me over the edge of climax way too fast. When I backed off of these “go-to” fantasies I was able to last quite a bit longer. Eventually I came to lay off the fantasies altogether when I was boning a chica and to just relish in the excitement of the moment we were sharing.
Porn figures large here because, let’s face it, most of us pick porn that is tailor made to our best case scenario fantasies. We plug ourselves into the porn situation in whatever way suits our sexual dispositions and WHAM! we’re at the epicenter of our particular fetish. Over time, if this is ALL we indulge we can find ourselves….well, *overstimulated* mentally.
My advice with the mental side is to try out different fantasies, visualizations, porn situations, or (imagine this!) no fantasies at all!
That said, I do agree with you that kegels (in the beginning at least) have the tendancy to make a quick cummer even faster on the trigger than he was before. This, in my opinion, is because fast cummers are wired kind of tight down there and the kegels just wind the whole works even tighter.
HOWEVER, if you really get into P.E. deeply and really start to explore the anatomy, physiology, and potential of your sexual works you may find (like I have) that kegels (if you keep them up) will eventually give you a kind of “deep strengthening” that causes your “tightly wound” feeling (makes you cum quickly) to cede to a “deeply strong” feeling wherein your tool feels like a rock hard love muscle that is under your complete control.
I can now fuck all day if I want.
You sound to be in the early phases of your penile development…kind of “hitting the wall” with your exercises. It’s natural. I say just stick with it, be patient, and remember that with familiarity, routine, and strengthening come CONTROL. Try not to get into mentally down states. Accept temporary setbacks. That you are asking questions is proof of one thing- you’ve got more to learn- and certainly, doing sustained PE is one hell of a way of learning more about your sexual response and eventually bringing it under your complete control.
Good luck on your journey.
I vote for sticking with the kegels.
Once you get your muscles trained sufficiently, that kind of “pushing you over the edge twitchy kegel-ey” feeling will be replaced by an ability to clamp down on your kegel muscles with a determined and focused strength that shuts down the orgasmic impulse like turning off a valve with your hand….and when you get there brother, all of your former woes will seem like they’re a million miles away (as will your sex partner’s when you’re screwing her eyeballs out non-stop for an hour or so on end!!!!)
peace