Wife doesn’t lIke PE

You gotta remember something my man, to most woman, a hard strong cock is so much more attractive then a big chubby fluffy noodle. You’ll notice they can get off with a small dildo that isn’t long or thick, that’s because it is consistently hard.

EQ is so underrated because guys are way too obsessed over size. Many women will argue that the best sex they’ve ever had wasn’t with a big dick.

If you can find that happy-medium of a healthy hard cock but also work on gaining size, then your winning.

I am following my urologist’s suggestion and pumping for 10 (lately 15) min.

I pump it up first, then I start the timer. After one minute, I release the pressure and pump up again. I do this pumping session once per day, 2 days on, one day off.

You pump up to what pressure? Then you release the pressure and pump it back up and keep repeating this over and over?

Sounds like you - like me- takes a calculated slow approach. I. don’t get the sponginess at all in up to 30 mins. After that it becomes a deformed eggplant even I don’t like.

Maybe try a single 15min session? Just try an approach that suits you better?

But taking a long term view… I doubt the wife will not enjoy some PE activity, judiciously applied as it may be.

I never thought about PE until I turned 50. I’d spent my entire life working out my body. I suddenly realized it made no sense to not invest any time into a body part that is so crucial to my quality of life.

So my wife has somewhat of the same reaction. She does not like me being super swollen because she says it looks disfigured and it’s not me. So I understand where you are coming from. My wife has actually gotten better with it and now supports me and as well as helps me with everything. I think you might need to have a heart to heart with your wife and come to an agreement that makes both you and her happy.

Its cool man, you just overdid it. It’s happened to alot of us who have pumped.

Conditioning takes time and its easy to overdo it because we love how big it looks in the tube. For guys newer and less conditioned to pumping, less is more.

Some people prefer to pump to the point of edema as a fetish but for a hard, functioning dick, lower pressure and less time. This is especially true if pumping to combat EQ issues. The bathmate isn’t the best choice IMO for EQ issues simply because it lacks a pressure gauge and I personally find higher pressures less discomforting than when at comparable pressures in an air pump. In other words, Its easier to over do it in a water pump with no gauge.

An air pump with gauge would allow you to better dial in your sweetspot pressure wise for increasing bloodflow and moving towards stronger, fuller erections.

Have you read avocets pumping when you have ED thread? Do a search for it if you haven’t already read it. Let me know if you can’t find it for some reason and I’ll drop a link in this thread.

I would give it a few days before you pump again though if you are experiencing EQ issues otherwise your EQ will stay down.

Also, I don’t know your approach but in the beginning of my PE career, I made the mistake of trying to make the bathmate my main course for my workouts rather than giving manuals first priority. It worked for a little while until I hit a wall and could not gain anymore.

Maybe consider using the pump as an aid to achieve better expansion when jelqing.

I noticed pattern with my own endeavors the second time around using the bathmate with a different approach.

Im too lazy to explain in detail at the moment so in short… try to use the bathmate really light pressure and really short duration, like 2 minutes or less and then see how your jelqs treat you after the pump session. Or you could try pumping lightly like outlined above, and do a manuals only routine the next day.

When I started playing with this I noticed much better expansion from jelqing. I was able to reap some benefits from pumping without sacrificing my EQ or a nice looking penis for a big one.

Anyways just my 2 cents. Everyones got a different way. Mine’s not right it just worked for me a bit at one time… The problem for me, and why I still don’t pump anymore currently, is I lack the discipline to not overdo it when pumping. Cumulative fatigue always creeps up on me because I over do it too much. Only a little today and a little the day after tomorrow but eventually it would catch up and stop my progress.

Currently doing manuals only and loving it. Gaining more slowly than when using pump but my dick is hard and both the wife and I think it looks good. That’s a good tradeoff to me.

During the time I took to type that response I missed all the othr posts and failed to realize the conversation went another direction. I feel like an idiot.

Sort of…

Building on Alterdst8 and Avocet’s thoughts on pumping for ED-

I many times during the day will grab my tube and pump to 5inHg for 3 min or so, then put it away. This is in addition to my standard PE sets. As Avocet says, and seems reasonable to me, that this is replicating your normal nocturnal erections whose purpose is to flood the penis with fresh, oxygen rich blood and flush out waste.

I believe this to be beneficial. It won’t cure my ED, but it is one of a number of things I do to stay ahead of ED.

I also second the thought that a spongy penis is a result of too high pressure leading to too much edema.

I am now regularly pumping, with heat pad, for 1 hr at 5inHg, which does give a nice girth bump. There is slight edema buildup, but still get a hard dick.

If she doesn’t want more volume, stick to manuals, hanging and kegels for me they’re amazing to EQ

I pump 5 minutes a week the most, didn’t get along well

My wife says me doing PE is a turnoff, so I try to keep it to myself by doing mostly when she’s not around and such. I’m not hiding it or keeping a secret, just not flaunting it in her face.

Meanwhile, when we do have sex she has more intense orgasms than she used to. So if I what the problem really is…

This has always been my goal as well. There is something to be said for just eating the dish and not having to watch the chef make it.

Unfortunately the only way I can hang is right in front of her, so I have had to bend my own rules as of late.

I love that analogy with the dish and the chef LittleEngine. Very clever

Why is it artificial with us, but when they do their kegels it’s fine? BS. I just think we should get rid of “PE” and simply call it “conditioning”. It’s my approach and conviction about it. Many women maximize their potential by diligently training their muscles. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with us doing the same, the only thing that makes it wrong is the misplaced collective shyness and guilt about it. I started in 2015 and have never heard a woman complain about it, because I am open about it and not the least shy. In fact my ex girlfriend told me she bought a Bathmate for her new BF, so there.

I usually pump for 10-15 min or so. Maybe once every other day. I don’t know what is the optimum routine. So far, girth has come easier than length.

The girth, however is, mushy. My Dad had a fat cock and now mine looks like a bit like Dad’s used to look.

It looks impressive, but the function is severely lacking most of the time. I do not jelq because getting that 80% hard on is a major challenge.

I stretch, I pump and I wear a Phallosan Forte for 8-10 hours per day.

I have penetrated without pills, but it is rare.