Crazy Tom's Penis Enlargment Haiku contest

Hi boys and girls,

Well, she-it, it’s been a rough few months for old Tom. Everything sacred about his site has been trashed. Make that Trashed with a capital T. First Piet comes along and with one simple design change makes Tom’s AFB Hanger look really, really, stupid. So is it his hanger now or Tom’s? I have to refigure that page. Then Hobby comes along with a two-cent Zinger that makes mine look ridiculous overcomplicated by comparison. So whence, exactly, with the zinger page? *sigh*

Far from being the guy with cheap’n’clever answers, I feel myself morphing, once again, into a kind of quaint, archaic sideshow (albeit one with high graphic design values).

Thus, in the sideshow spirit, I would like to add some entertainment to my site, for which purpose I invite you - and you and you - to submit your favorite penis enlargement Haiku. Once you’ve written it.

People devote as many words to describing Haiku as some people do describing how to pull on your dick with your hand, but essentially (remember - ah - junior high. Que rico!) Haikus are little Japanese poem-thingies that have 17 syllables, preferably arranged 5-7-5:

To Wit

A simple sentence
with yet another, longer
is Haiku. But bad.

SO! The subject is penis enlargement! On your mark, get set, GO! And while you’re feeling creative, check out Crazy Tom’s Jelqing 101 “Keep it short!” contest!

My two aching hands,

an un-tiring, stolid Bib,

no goal out of reach.

I have never written a Haiku before and have probably got all the syllables wrong. But here goes…

**A rubbish rhyming one: **
If no affection,
for your erection - change it,
achieve perfection.

Now that is actually quite good. They say masters of haiku could set the scene in two lines and achieve resolution with the third. It’s off by one syllable in the first line there. I might change it to “My two aching hands” rather than “My aching hand, with” Ah, just a bit of constructive criticism. Anyways, top bombing!

Flagging erection

Seeks help from a vacuum pump

My greatness returns

Please don’t feel like this. To me, you’re a PE legend.

My cells are broken,

skin sore, inflamed and swollen,

I am rejoicing.

lazy hands cramped fingers,
a monkey to pull my cock,
the dilemas end :)

..and yours too Tom, yours too, purchase the trainer monkey, everything will be better… lol. :D

Are operators standing by? I’ve got my credit card ready! I want the best penis money can buy! I mean..oops…on me, ya know, like my own, not…jeez…

Thanks for the great haiku (and limerick, KOG)! Don’t stop now! Bring ‘em on! Bring ‘em on!

longing in private
hours spent with leaden weight
she feels it and smiles

Piet hung AFB,

after modifications,

wider and with grooves.

2 cents ball zinger,

cheapest PE tool to date,

designed by Hobby.

Monkey on my lap

whispering haikus in ear

while pulling on dick.

Tom Hubbard’s website,
a knotted black man’s penis
to inspire us all.

Ok…not sure if there are 2 or 3 syllables in inspire otherwise it should read ‘inspired us all’ :)

This is my last one for today ;)

Fifteen pounds hanging

Proudly in between my legs

Who’s opened the door?

Hey now!