Frustrated about Controlling Ejaculation

Whats up board? I am really getting frustrated about not be able to controlmy ejaculation during sex with my gf. I know about edging. That hasn’t helped. I was prescribed paxil for depression but never experienced the side effect of delayed ejaculation. I even bought this book called “How To Be A Multi-Oragasmic Man” read through it a few time but still could not grasp the meditation techniques in this book. It gets me really down. I am a perfectionist which I know is not a good thing but you can’t imagine how down I get on myself. My gf always makes excuses for me but I know something is not right with me. The few times I am able to last are after I just smoked weed which I don’t do much at all, or when I am about to come I pull up my pc muscle until it subsides. SOMTIMES kegling works but lately pulling up on my pcmuscle will stop the ejaculation but then I lose my erection which doesn’t make anything better. I am actually considering therapy. I don’t know what else to do but I just am so frustrated.

Don’t worry you’re not the only one who hasn’t been able to get it working at all even after reading the book (read most of it myself). Supposedly a bunch of members have here so goodluck.

I scrubbed on the head of my dick with and extra hard toothbrush while clamped. It’s almost torture, but the longer I could scrub on the same area of my head without stopping the longer I could last during sex. Who knows could have been all in my head, but it makes sense aswell.

However, sensitivity returns if you don’t stick with it.

This is what I did when I first started edgeing.

Masterbate first, cum, regain erection repeat. The second time it will take longer. Don’t try to desensitize anything. The trick with edgeing is to
NOT get frustrated. Enjoy it, relax have your wife help you out. Knock off the perfectionist shit mess up your room a little. Don’t watch porn. Relax all the muscles in your body do not tense up. Play relaxing music. Get rid of the destractions.

Hey man here are some of my tips:

A half hour before take a motrin IBUprofen.
While getting an erection don’t use your PC muscle at all. Its better to get half hard and not use your BC muscle and get extremely hard. (as long as you can get it in, you will get a harder erection.)
Edge, everytime you masturbate. No more “quickies.” I noticed I went from a few minutes of taking it slow I was ready to burst, but a few months later, I can go full speed with no involuntary contractions. Take your time, it’s not easy.

I have a few more, I think. Ask if you have any questions…

So edging helps alot? When edging what lube do you use? Do you stop just when your about to come, let the urge subside and then continue? I really love this girl and I don’t like to dissapoint her. I just feel like I am starting to get into this bad trend of coming way to quick. We have been together for over 3 years and I know she loved me too but as a man I feel like I have to please my woman to the fullest. Like I said I am a perfectionist and I get very down on myself when I don’t perform.

No lube for me… Yeah as you start just get your self used to what each stage of arousal feels like. Do some searching on the boards, it has been discussed a billion times. Oh, and we all wanna please our women, but the more you think about it, the less likely you are to do it properly. You will worry about coming therefore come faster.

First of all. You have a girlfriend that is helpful with what you consider a problem.

That’s nice, you should consider yourself lucky for this, because there a lot of people who are facing problems with PE and do not have a steady understanding partner to help them get over it.

Get advantage of it. The best therapy you can get is to get advantage of the situation.

It’s all in your mind and be sure it will not go as you wish many more times. But that’s not something to worry about.

Actually there is nothing to worry about sex, except STD’s and unwanted pregnancy.

The rest is there to enjoy.

Stop aiming to something like “being the best lover she has ever had” or anything similar.

Instead focus on her body and on the sensations you get. Enjoy them. Get to know your body. If you are focused, if you know what feeling means what, then you will start gaining control.

And don’t let this become an obsession, have some humor about yourself. Remember no one was born perfect, we all learn in the process…

Ah, and another thing, as long as you are obsessing about it, there will be no easy way to fix it. There are no quick fixes for these things, because it’s all in your mind and worrying about it just isn’t the right mind frame.

Marcus j -

Try to lighten up. If weed helps you, and you can safely use it without jeopardizing your job or relationship(s), toke up as part of your foreplay. And speaking of foreplay, engage in more of it. Spend more time getting your gf there, go down on her, get her off a time or two before you penetrate. But also get your own stimulation during foreplay - it’s a two-way street. In general, if you can get past 20 or 30 minutes of stimulation to your dick, you’ll find yourself in control. Edging is generally a term applied to prolonging masturbation, but you can also edge during intercourse. You get to the orgasmic peak and just don’t “go for the gold” until you’re good and ready. If you’re an uptight guy, herb definitely should help. Also don’t give up on learning to meditate - it will help you in your life, and not just in your sex life. Control will come, and you will find that you want to enjoy the pleasant sensations of sexual intimacy (both with yourself, and with your partner) - rather than avoiding them to avoid climax. One day it will be second nature to you - it’s like riding a bike or swimming or any skill or craft: practice makes perfect. If you want to try counselling, it could help, if your therapist is competent to counsel. Good luck.

- Rip

Thanks for all the advice guys. I am sort of an uptight guy. I do love foreplay and I go down on her. Somtimes she orgasms real quick. I usually go down on her first and then penetrate. I really apreciate the thought that went into your replies. I am going to try all the advice.

I haven’t heard this before… I’ve heard of desensitizing creams and sprays, weed somewhere down in this thread, a drink or two of alcohol, SSRI’s, shit I’ve even heard of oatmeal somewhere as a joke, but what role does the ibuprofen play?

The Motrin is for those wives who might say, “sorry honey, I gotta headache.”

haha :) Yeah for that too.

I will be starting a thread soon about motrin. I have to do some scientific research first, but it has helped me.

Give it a shot.