I'm here for a little while today to say thanks

To

Bib, Dance, ledzep, ThunderSS, Vivace, WilllB7, dino775, Kiwi, BeBop, YGuy,
JMeisterr, UIShrike, Penismith, Nortical, Sizemesiter, and all the rest who remembered me

THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

Bib has been instrumental in keeping me alive and from doing something to hurt myself, which would
be hard since I like myself too much. Bib not only has a large penis and is a pioneer in PE, but he
has the biggest heart of any man I know. I don’t think anyone on the board knows the real Bib, but I
do. We talk on the phone everyday and even with his own personal tragedy this week,
he makes time for me in an unselfish way. He has made me see my life-altering problem,
the biggest tragedy in my whole LIFE, from a hopeful and optimistic perspective. He has been
one of my lifelines, and I emphasize the word LIFE!

Yea, it’s that bad. Don’t worry, I won’t, hehehe (humor?).

Guys, it’s bad that I spend half my time in therapy, have a circle support gruop of 30 wonderful
people, and I am for the first time in my 50 years, reluctantly, on antidepressants—Desyril.

Oh FYI Dance, my dick’s about 9 1/4 Long and 7 1/2-8 girth at the base these days even with
all my problems (dry jelquing now). That should make me feel better, and hell, it does. But I am painfully
learning the limits of that. There could be a lesson for you all here. I dunno.
I am supposed to feel good since I am so endowed, but I have fallen into an abyss, the likes of
which I am having a difficult time seeing a way out of. But don’t worry about me, I’ll find something out,
some sort of reason why. I am not even sure where I stand in the problem or if it is going to
continue to plague me. I am adrift in a violent sea of total ambiguity. Physicallly, in all the pain.
I have achieved my goal of chiseled abs too now, so with my handsome looks and good job,
I guess I’m a woman’s dream, right?

Well, look at the shape I’m in with all that. I’m searching for a reason why and trying not to get mad
at God. God has a plan here but I’m getting impatient to know it. To have known love as I have experienced,
and if you remember discussed happily and proudly on this very board, to be halfway between heaven
and hell is my daily life now, but I must pick up the pieces and go on.

Bib makes it look more optimistic. She should be a therapist, but he says he already is and
makes money off of people in his business from it (non-PE vocation).

I just cannot say enough about BIB, and I am damn glad I can pick up the phone anytime and
commune with him on matters of the heart, spirit, mind, and yes, dick (hehehe). What a gamut!

You guys, in my brief reading of some threads, have helped more than you can know.

I am going to hang around a while, but I don’t know what to say anymore. I cannot be of much
help right now, nor do I have much particular on my mind to say. I am sort of dead living. But
I know life is good and the guys on this board are golden.

I am sorry I have not been able to post. Please understand.

I am glad to have been so much help to so many people, but I am not able to help anyone right now.
I am truly honored to have meant so much to so many. I had forgotten.

God Bless all of you and God Bless America

Phat

I’m glad to see that you’re still around and doing OK, all things considered. I can’t say that I know how you feel since I haven’t been through anything quite so severe, but I certainly do feel for you. You are aboslutely right about Bib, too. He is almost too good to be true.

We’re all still thinking about you and we’ll still be here after you make a full recovery and are ready to post again. Thanks for filling us in, take care, and God bless.

Size

phat9,
just read your thread and was deeply touched by it. If you dont mind but can I ask you a few questions? If so then here we go;

With your problems, is it PE related and if so do you mind sharing it to avoid anyone else from repeating it?
What is your routine? Do you hang, jelk, pump, a combination? 91/4 x 8” is my goal. What is your girth excercise and also length?

Why dont you stay a while and try out for a moderator’s job here, cause its known that in the midst of problems, the best cure is when you are helping other people with their problems and this somehow helps you to overcome your problem. Its a form of therapy.

How long have you been PEing and which excercise would you credit mostly to your success?

I will pray for your healing whether its spirit or body cause God can heal and time spent with him is not wasted. Thanks for allowing my two cents cause any man with 91/4 x 8” is a well respected man.(smile)

I don’t have a clue as to the nature of your problem but I note that you mention you are having a hard time not being angry with God. Well, our problems are not created by God, they are a result of sickness or possibly actions that are sometimes our own, sometimes actions of others. At any rate it seems that you have much to be thankful for in regards to physical health with six pack abs and a 9 incher to boot. You are in my prayers.

your words are deeply felt. obviously, i can’t claim to have any kind of grasp on your situation, nor do i mean to imply that it is not in itself uniquely your own or that it is “comparable” to any i’ve known. that being said, i do feel it at times appropriate to recognize that when, for each of us, we face a situation that pushes our own personal envelope for coping, there are some commonalities from which we may draw comfort and strength.

in a situation that certainly sounds as though it escalates at times to despair and dire hopelessness, i feel that one of the most pertinent of realities to recognize is that nothing is permanent. that you believe in god indicates to me that on some level you know that the trials you are facing will not be ever present. that notion may not present itself as emotionally accessible ground to stand on in every passing moment, but it is certainly one that i know i can stand to hear more often from both myself and others in hard times, and i don’t feel amiss in sharing it with you now, though it may very well seem redundant.

the next thing i want to say is that i can relate to being overwhelmed by a phantasmagorical sense of vertigo which accompanies despair in such times, and although it is without a doubt imperative to deal with the heart of the situation and the underlying factors that make space for that condition to exist, i have found that sometimes it is better to not get involved. what i mean by that is, when the emotional torrents seem to consume all of consciousness without exception, it may be better to step aside entirely. recognize them as having their own life and their own agenda, and realise that you are not your emotions. you are so much more than your emotions could ever be. i know that if you find what i’m suggesting agreeable and reasonable, you’ll likely be thinking, “easier said than done”. one of the most effective technologies i’ve been able to employ for this is to run a mantra. whatever the hell else is going on in my psychic landscape, i will give all the focus i can muster to three simple words: “acceptance, integration, and transcendence”.

one more thought… it is good that you recognize the aspects of your life that remain unaffected by the tragedy that plagues you. those aspects most certainly exist though, understandibly, they may be very difficult to see and to find worth in. my point is that whatever it may be that is awry, it is absolutely not everything.

phat9, you may or may not take worth out of anything i’ve just written, but, in any case, know that you are not alone, and that we are pulling for you however we know how. your soul, phat, is god. jesus among many others have put it to us as such - “the kingdom of god is within you”. that point of god inside of you is shining brightly under whatever foul shit may be crusted over it. nothing can alter that. the real you is untarnished. you are beautiful.

peace and love,
bebop

Thanks,

I am not up to it. It is the apparent breakup of THE relationship of my life.

She is my one true love of my life, and I am here to tell you all that there is such
a thing. BIB can tell you what she means to me, but I’ll speak for myself.

Ah, THE……..

BIB and those who know her can write books on the word “THE.”

The ironies of this in my pain include the fact that break up comes at a time when we are both still in love.

There is no way to explain this, and I have never in my life encounterd a woman who can make me feel the
way she does, and can give me such happiness and total fullfilment.

She was an ardent support of PE and loved my ‘“man.”

What good has it done.

Phat

You are new to me. That was VERY eloquent.

I really appreciate what you said, and it helps.

Phatboy

I have never felt mad at God before this,and I am looking for him to lead here. I was and remain convinced that God led her to
me in the first place. That is why I was angry, though I know I am just mortal. I have been hurt a lot in my life but never
like this and, yes, I think I deserve better. I cannot see what reason God did this to me, but then again, it is not my place
to question, and therein lies my dilemma. He can’t help me if I am angry. I know that. There must be some purpose but I am too old
to wait and find out. God doesn’t reward impatience.

I am tired of waiting for what I found after 50 years and now have to give up. It has little to even do with me really, unlike my
other “ending” of relationships/maririages. She has made me such a better person, but she cannot take her own advice
it seems.

The antidepressants are doing no good but my therapist is very good, but even there I have been dealt a bad hand because
my employer’s new policy on counseling free benefits, has been reduced to 8 visits, then go private to someone else. Mine
has let me exceed my 8 by far, and along with BIB, has literally saved me from more pain than I have now. But,
I have to give my therapist up next Wednesday and even that is a low blow.

Many of you are new and don’t know me, but some may remember my old recounting of this fantastic woman on the board
a year ago. I went on and on about her, sexually and otherwise, and I helped some guys see what true love and honor is really all about,
though what I have experienced goes way beyond mere words. It is so highly spiritual and mental and emotional and yes,
fucking fastastically physical, that I wince thinking of going down to second or third or fourth best.
Her pain is no less, as she knows no man will ever replace her Phatboy.

So why is this happening? I will not get into it but it’s quite simple yet complex. It has nothing
to do with me, unfortunately, I just happen to be in the way, on our road to heaven.

The painfulf reality is that maybe in a few years when I’m pushing 60, I can get a semblance of my soul back and hopefully recover
enough to even let another woman into my life, but the fact remains that there will be no woman to replace her. My heart is
always going to carry this woman with it. That is not fair to someone else who is no party to this tragedy but who would love me.

I have been married twice, had a year long live in/fuckfest with a 19 year old nympho, and I have had about 43 other assorted minor to
medium relationships (told BIB I don’t remember where I got the time for all that). I finally get it right and it ‘s gone.

None of them, and no woman save one I have ever known (but she was TOO beautiful such that she was unhaveable and troubled badly)
even comes within 50 light years of what she does to me. She has changed my entire life in every way possible.

If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be on this board doing PE.

Everybody is giving me what I would tell someone in my situation, you know, “it’ll be better”, “the sun always shines”..
yeda yeda, and I appeciate that.

I need something else. It isn’t working. I have 44 “comparisons” and I know what is out there for me at my
age in a shit fuck small town in a bumpkin state. I can’t travel the world to find someone who even approaches
what I am losing.

The pain is so much greater than either divorce, about equal to the death of my Mom, but even there I could hang my
hat on the fact that the end came to relieve her suffering. We are still in fucking love but it is not to be and I have been there
in this love high for almost 3 years.

I know another “person” cannot make us happy, but what we had and have does give me something I didn’t even know
existed in 1999. It is almost better to have remained like most men in most relationships, ignorant of the infinite
potential off the heart and spirit. Mix that with dynamite sex and , pass the carbon monoxide please.

She gave me unique things I need to be me.
Phatboy

I will play Roman Catholic theologian for a minute:

God is not the author of evil, but he does allow free will, and chance to operate, even there - what appears to be evil, he will eventually use to bring about good.

Don’t blame God, pray. I will pray for you.

Thanks so much.

Yes, do pray and hard.

I have, thanks to her, converted from Baptist to Lutheran, and I love worshipping at
the Lutheran way. Communion is very special to me, and I must get rid of this anger before
I partake. I will.

I am a strong SOB, toughened up by a life much less rich than I deserved, but until the past
3 years, I did not listen to God.

I will be very mindful of what He is doing in this situation Sunday when I drink the wine and eat the
bread, and I will, as always, humbly submit to his will. I have to. There is no other way.

One of the things I look forward to is sitting by a VERY wealthy Opthamologist lady who seems interested
in me, though she is a cold fish who does not let men warm up to her and she has been thru the worst
divorce I have ever seen. Her daughter is my daughter’s best friend. I just go with it in my pain. I am
“using” her in the worst way, yet the only way I know to drown my sorrow. I would never give her
a chance anytime soon. She is not like the one I think I’m losing.

It is nice, after 48 years of no religion (I was sort of agnostic), to have faith again. I have it because
of my long lost girlfriend who rescued me from the couch of alcohol self medication.

I believe God has angels all around us, and I am so so so confused right now about what is happening to me.

I just have to believe from this horror will come the good I now know I deserve and want so badly. My heart
is right for the first time in many years, but time is running out too.

I am impatient after knowing the deepest sort of romantic love that we can experience.

Thanks so much for you prayers, I take it you are Catholic.

Hehehe, I call myself a “recovering Baptist.” Everyone laughs at that one.

Phat

Phat,

Many more than you know care about you… I for one. I hope for the best for you and would be available anytime to augment what is obviously an impressive support group.

Hugeness.

I left you out, forgive me for I’m so spaced.

You were one of the first ones BIB told me were wanting to talk, and I’m sorry I have not gotten back
but I am just not able to focus on anything, and my job is suffering, though my boss and my cohorts know what the
hell is going on. I barely got my annual evaluation in today, and I don’t even give a shit right now. I will later.

Bib mentioned something about you having a similar problem.

If you did we can go private . I am trying to be good to myself for I am a survivor.

You were the very first PE member BIB said was concerned so this is my acknowledement of that fact..

Thanks so much. This all helps but it does not cure and I have said how impatient I am now at my age.

Can you blame me after tasting the heaven that is possible in a man and a woman?

Phatboy

paht9;

Have never talked with you but you are something of a legend here and at PEForums.

Remember always, when you are feeling like shit, that you are “Number 1,” not in the sense of dick size (though that may be true) but in your life, as a human. Look out for Number 1 first in these tough times. Treat Number 1 the best, then deal with other things, people. For now, anyway.

Number 1? What? I’m large but I quote only max size at level IV erection. It varies. I’m not all that big I don’t believe but it “can” get out there at times.

I wonder when I became a legend? Bib had hinted at that but I thought he was joking. It does make me feel good,and man I need that like I need air right now.

Yes, you are right, I must take care of myself and look out for number 1. I am though it doesn’t sound like it when I talk. The pain and depression seem to come thru as hoplessness. I don’t feel hopeless, just so alone. Even with my daughter, who thought this lady was gonna be “mommie”, I still feel all alone.

I need to get back on the bow flex, but I ended up drinking which is bad on Desryl. I have major knee surgery next week too. I dread that. All alone.

But, the surgery itself is taking care of number one since I’ve been on egg shells with the bum knee for over 35 years, and I finally am getting it fixed, I hope.

Thanks for the thought. My therapist says I must stay on the phone or internet talking. I’m trying to do what she says.\

Phat

Phat —

Welcome back, I just read through your posts and boy can I feel your pain. After 15 months of what to me was the love relationship of my life I put a stop to dating a girl I am IMO deeply in love with.

The problem for me is fairly significant because I’m married. Without getting into the details i needed to stop seeing her while I deal with my home situation and only then when this is resolved can I deal with her again; if this is how it turns out. This was her suggestion and after some heavy thought and spiritual advise I reluctantly agreed, but man I’m in a lot of pain.I really don’t see myself making it without her, but I hope I have the courage to see it through.

And as much as I tried to keep God out of the equation He was having none of it. He knew that the only way to get through to me was by using the GF so she has this spiritual awaking right before my eyes and gets convicted and the next thing I know she is telling me to get my home life squared away then call her.

Heavy, heavy stuff, and just for the record the phone just rang and it was my best friend telling me his wife is having an affair and she is joining AA , what the heck is going on.

Well that’s it for now, if your heading for a spirtual journey you may as well make it a good one.

Just wanting to share,