I'm here for a little while today to say thanks

Hi Phat,

I know I said I was not going to give advice buy I am worried about you so I have to say something.

It is all chemical buddy. There are neurotransmitters in your brain that trigger pleasure. You circuitry has become highly dependent on her as a stimulus and you are going through a major withdrawal. Getting over this might be as hard for you as say a heroin addict cleaning up but with time your body will re equilibrate. Yes, you may always long for her and some days will be better than others will but you will not always feel the way you feel now and you will be perfectly able to have wonderful days.

There is something else to consider. You were able to have the relationship you had because of who you have been in the last 3 years. You may not have been capable of having such a powerful connection 20 years ago. You may very well make another strong connection; you can’t rule that out. You can not apply your statistics to this and simply say, “I met one person I could have this kind of connection with in 50 years, what are my odds of it happening again” because you are not a constant. You are a variable and you have no idea if life still has plenty of wonderful surprises for you. My guess is that life does indeed.

I hope that at least the thought counts if the content of this email is of no use to you.

Get well soon : )

PS

Yes PS, your thoughts DO count highly and today I’m much better.

Bib has been the one who is getting me thru this. Your comments are very
very true.

I tend to statistically discount the probability of replacing her.

I have no trouble with my looks and endowments finding women, even in this
one horse town. It’s the quality of those available. I cannot settle for second best and
I am monogamous.

But at least agree that the probabiliy you speak of is close
to zero. No, it is not zero and there is always a chance, even at 51.

I am waiting on her to call me back (?) to try to either get closure I can live with or
resolve the real underlying issues , which we have both skirted.

I do appreciate your words.

Hi,

I hope you continue to feel better. I hope she calls. It is hard to believe Bib is just one guy with all that knowlede and his many skills. I do research in a lab where almost everyone has an advanced degree from schools like Harvard and MIT and Bib is one of the smartest people I have met (well, sort of met anyway).

You speak of this one horse town you live in, is it possible to move? If you want selection, move to San Francisco. I have heard more than once that strait guys don’t have many dating problems there.

Keep feeling better,

PS

if I was in Frisco with my looks, abs, brain, romance, and “endowment”, you are right. No brainer.

I’m not.

It kills me the “quality” ladies I never get to meet. It will be a while before I get “M” off my heart.

I might as well be in the Sahara desert.

Can’t move—long story.