I'm here for a little while today to say thanks

Phat,

I think the famous Phat/Dance threads pretty much cemented your status as a legend. They are referred to often and I bet that just about every serious hanger has read them, if not he should.

Seems like only yesterday, when life was so simple and I had so much to look forward to.

I need to snap out of this.

Where is Dance anyway?

I was his “daddy” like Bib is my “daddy” right now, LOL

Well, your situation is a bit different but there are commonalities. Enough to talk.

You are adrift in the sea of ambiguity just like me, but I’m not married and the love of my life has been divorced for three months. She has kids and lives 400 miles away. Need I say more. It’s more complicated than that due to the horrible marriage she was subjected to for 30 years.

Phat,

I understand that you are dealing with extreme circumstances. NO ONE wants to loose that which is a LOVE. Very hard to accept. That said God has blessed you in so MANY ways. You are healthy, right? You are physically endowed, right? You have experience the ectasy of love, a blessing many never know. What a gift. Do not torment over a temporary situation. Blessings are varied and not always easy to recognize nor understand. You are doing the right thing. Explore your emotions but do not allow them to control you. Many great works of art and humanity were and are inspired by the emotions that you are experiencing. You CAN endure. You are NOT alone. When you emerge you will be a stronger and more feeling human with the ability to love even greater than you now realize. Do NOT give up. Many are praying for you. Many depend on you. God knows you can and will be.

NE

Dance was online earlier today and will probably be back tomorrow. He is a pretty regular contributor still.

Now I see why you asked me if I come here. Man I missed this post for whatever reason lol. Anyway, my comments are on the other board and you read them.

Dance

Hi Phat,

I am glad you are back. Although I know a lot about depression from personal experience and academic study, I am a little young to give you advise except to recomend that you get back on the bowflex, don’t let yourself go. You are in my thoughts and I hope you are feeling better as quickly as possible.

PS

I can totally identify with your posts. Know that you did help me in many ways. Your comments are ringing very true for me right now. Thank you. My marriage is headed south. Wifey has cut me off—says I am not nice to her. She is menapausal and all over the place emotionally but showing only calm to me. Maybe it is me. NAWWWW! LOL I am very angry about this.

I finally went to my friend Physician for advise on my high testesterone level (1556)—since PE. and he ordered an MRI on my brain (pituitary) an ultra sound of the testes and a stress test this wednesday. He also put me on Celexa…Damn, I never thought I’d ever be on an anti-depressant…, And I hate the feelings I am having. Plus I have every side effect, nausea, want to sleep all day. etc. with only being on it for 3 days. I will give it a go for a few weeks. FOr my kids sake. I am looking for a good skills councelor to help me cope with a sexless, joyless, communicationless marriage. I too feel very alone and have to let “it” go for awhile. But it creeps into my counciousness, especially at night. I wish I could go back to the simple times.

I too do not understand why I am thoroughly focused, obsessed with my situation. I do not deserve it. Anger, which given the two years I have been trying to improve the relationship, is understandable.

Right now I am forcing myself to continue taking the Celexa, I want to stop real bad. Hell, if you knew me, you would never think I was a depressed guy. I am not so sure I am depressed.

PHAT, take it easy. I think a lot of Bib also, he’s a good person.

Sorry I dont really have the time to read all the posts here, but I have heard of you and was interested in your problem. I sympathise with you and I know how it feels. I just got dumped by my girlfriend of three years. I am not going to go into details about it, but it is pretty bad. I have cut off communication with her in an attempt to help me get over her. It helps me alot to try to think of everything I have going for me, instead of what I had lost. From what I read above, you have alot more going for you then I do. I seem to be healing up rather well, but am thinking of seeing a counsler. Good luck with everything, it sounds like you are on the right track. Your posts seem very inspirational and eventually I will read them all. Cya.

Bib told me all about your situation, things you cannot say on the board.

I’m no good for advice right now because I have had a backtrack on depression when I discovered this morning that my “support” group family failed to remind me (as other groups did) of a get together at a restaruant I so needed. I of course in my state forget everything.

That said, can you give me some of that excess testosterone…………just joking there…….

According to what Bib says, and I know he tells the truth to me, I dunno man, you might be in worse situation than me, “situation” wise I mean.

According to Bib, this is NONE your fault.

Stay in touch, I’m in and out of everything in my life now, including this board.

I agree with another poster who said this string is just as relevant to PE as how to attach a hanger. Even when it comes to the physiological, like blood flow and arousal for jeqling, this emotional stuff is in there too.

I will keep you in my prayers and I pray your wife can get some help and realize that she needs it.

I know this is Phat’s thread but I have to comment on vivace’s post.

vivace I’ve been followng your situation for a long time now ( a lot to relate).

I think since you mentioned it, a marriage counselor is a good idea - it makes a lot of sense to me. But antidepressant drugs? Are you sure you realy need them? You seem to be a very healthy, optimistic person, you try so hard to make the relationship with the wife work, you read many books on it and asked for advice here on the forum - you obviously did everything possible to solve the situation. So maybe it’s time for your wife to make some effort too, by meeting the marriage counselor and working it out with you. Putting your body under drugs influence is a little drastic imo. You seem to hate it and what’s it doing to you so why not stop? I may not know all the facts, but from the distance this is my impression.

Sorry if I am in a way out of line here, just had to ask you this.

I wish I was an inspiration to myself today.

You must be younger than 30

Phat

Sorry bro I feel for you, I’m not going to offer any advice on women if I ever give you any just do the total opposite and it should work out. Well it’s good to have you posting I have a feeling it’s going to work out for you.

Dino

Phat 8, Thanks for the support, you made my day. Best time for you to write some poetry, a symphony or generate a painting… LOL…, yea I know.

WillB7, I totally agree with everything you said. Barring divorce (for the kids sake), I have to put the whole thing on hold. However, to do this, has me raging inside every night. So, my buddy prescribed the celexa as an experiment for me and other guys in the same situation. I am helping him with a play by play symtom, side effect thing. He claims the marriage complaints are rampant right now in his practice. I wonder what is going on. 9/11? or just a major push for acceptance of anti-depressants. I can only say that so far, the first three days, my symptoms are not fun. Major sleepiness, nausia, waking up all night long. These side effects are suppose to disappear soon—I hope so or I am stopping. Needless to say, I am not thinking about wifey dearest. Thanks for understanding.

“……..(for the kids sake)…….”

That is what did me in, and she is divorced!

Add guilt and “living thru her kids” as if nailed to a cross to do penance, and you can see my dilemma.

This has been my WORST day so far and unlike you, I’m not just raging inside, I’m looking for a way out.