Need an Excuse for the Clicking Noise?

Well I was damn close to getting caught clamping yesterday. Last night I was coming home from a regular work out and I decided to pump a little before I got home. I can maintain a good pump for a while if I clamp - even if it is not at full engorgement. I think it helps to stay big and I was hoping to save the increased size for sex later (I am an optimist).

My wife has heard that clicking noise from the clamps before. Once I was in the bathroom - I thought by myself - and she walked up behind me when I was fixing a clamp. She said “What was that noise.” I was like what noise? She asked again but I denied again. I think she may have heard it after that from time to time, but I tried to be very careful.

So last night when I got home, my wife was on the first floor and I went down to the basement to turn off the lights. I thought I better fix my clamp there - with her bunny ears. She heard the noise and comes running down the steps and saying, I heard it again. What do you have? I am like nothing…She was just drilling me. I tell you my adrenaline was rushing, I am not going to admit this or get caught. I know she will think I am a freak and she will do her best to put an end to it.

She basically padded my pockets down while I covered my dick, so she came up empty handed. She is like it sounds like a pill top. Are you taking steroids… I continued to deny and I called her paranoid. She said if it is in this house I will find it.

So the upshot is I cannot use clamps in the house any more and she thinks I am on drugs. I just talked to her and she is like why can’t you tell me. I denied again and she said there is either a ghost or you are hiding something. Is it those testosterone boosters you had in the cupboard - I said no it was meth.

I am usually the first with a snappy comeback but I am at a loss for words.

Get one of those old timer wind up watches from the late 1800’s/early 1900’s. :)

Why don’t you just tell her you PE?

If not, the clamps sound just like the clicking eraser pens. Its a tube with an eraser about as long as a pen. You click it out as your use more eraser. You could say you just had one for work that sometimes clicks by itself in your pocket.

Or maybe a clicker pen and that you have just been nervous clicking it a lot because of work or something.

I think the best thing is just to tell her you PE because she is your wife and the “white lie” or “lie of omission” will snowball into something worse. You know how it goes.

Best,

Cro

Carry one of the small size ones, devise a way of being able to hide it extremely quickly, and then start making the clicking noise at all kinds of random times. Do it at times where it is obvious that you aren’t taking pills and that she is able to search you and find out that you don’t have bottle of pills. Make the noise occur under such random circumstances that she becomes discombobulated, flustered, and psychologically weary of trying to figure it out. This is your best chance.

Thanks, so I will either convince her it is ghost or I will try to drive her crazy.

It is a long story but really it is just not an option. If I tell her I PE, I will be done PEing. I know her well enough to know that.

Is there a possibility that you can do your PE out of the house? Unless you are very lucky and she never catches on, that seems the only real solution if you really can’t tell her about your pe activities.

I was trying to be humorous, mostly, although I think there might be something in the occasional random click during circumstances that would throw her off the trail of steroids or something dick related.

I guess to me there just doesn’t really seem likely at all that you’ll be able to find a good excuse. I think if I was in your situation and felt there was no way of clamping in house without wife hearing the clicks, then I would just resort to doing it in other places instead like car, public bathrooms, while walking dog, etc. Good luck though

Wrap a towel around it to muffle the sound. Maybe run the tap, as well.

:rolling:

That is funny all4, I actually laughed out loud!

I have a similarly weird PE story, I will post it when I get back.

Cro had a great idea. Get an eraser pen. Next time she is around click randomly and confuse her :D . No, but I have to ask: Have you tried just leaving the latch open when you push the teeth in?

I think you must find a gift that has a similar sound, then when you give it to her, she will be like thats why you kept it a secret! your so sweet.

But the problem is, what could the gift be? and also what if she hears the clicking noise again after. Hmm.

LOL I think Long grass has just sorted your whole problem out. Thats a great idea, and it was right in front of us the whole time. But I think its pretty hard to get those last pushes on the clamp without the clicking noise. Worth a try I guess.

This one got me frantically giggling for five minutes.

Reminds me of the one time where I had to explain that bottle of oil I forgot to put back in my drawer. I think I said something along the lines of “it helps with getting a smooth gliding motion of my billard cue between my fingers when playing pool” or something. It worked, though.

I will practice outside the house for a while and see if I can do it properly.