OK, I said I would tell an odd PE story, so here goes.
I had a g/f, who is now an ex, that was somewhat under-developed emotionally. Because of this, we sometimes had to have conversations where I was more like her parent than her b/f. So, anyway, one night we were having one of those conversations.
And, as would be predictable, she sulked and avoided like the emotional adolescent that she was. No insult, that’s just the way it was. Though, she did eventually become more mature, but she came from a family that ignored issues, instead of addressing them - problems only get worse that way..
Anyway, she was at my house and laying in the bed, when this conversation began. And instead of participating, she rolled over, looked at the wall, and took forever to respond. That was a pattern that would drive me insane. Not even getting into the fact that there were times I thought she was thinking - and she had fallen asleep!!
Anyway, this night she had shown up out of now where, and I had been PE’ing on a fairly consistent schedule. So after she did the sulk, roll over and try to avoid routine - I was pissed, but wasn’t going to let it draw me in, and waste my time for an hour, or better, like usual.
I thought she was asleep. So, I went down stairs and was wet jelqing in the living room. I couldn’t hear her come down the stairs because of the carpet. So before I know it, she is at the bottom of the stairs. I got behind the door quickly and was talking to her thought it. Of course, she was suspicious.
This, of course, pissed me off more. Because, now, here I am, dealing with her concerns - yet when I needed discuss something with her, she pouted and pretended like she fell asleep!!
So, basically, I was like ‘get the f*ck out of my face, now.’ She wanted to know I if I had someone in the living room (another girl)? But, as I said, I wasn’t concerned with her thoughts at that moment. I told her I would be upstairs a little later (after jelqing).
She went upstairs, and two minutes later was right back - before I could get to the right erection level to jelq…
This happened two or three more times, before she started getting loud and trying to push thought the door (it wasn’t locked, french doors). So there she is and my unit is lubed up with Vaseline!! With Vaseline on the table!!
So, by this time, she is almost in tears, and she eventually did cry (I said she was emotionally immature). And she is asking me ‘why I am doing this’ (she assumed I was spanking it) when she was right up stairs. She actually held up my penis and inspected it, like someone would check for a stain, on a neck tie, that was hanging up..
It was actually kind of funny when I think on it - her in tears, inspecting my penis, then storming away.
So, I figured that now that she knew there was no one in there with me, I could finish in peace. Wrong!
She just knew I was spanking it. Which, to her, wasn’t as bad as some would expect. She had asked to watch me spank it before. I never complied. Not my thing. Why spank if she is there? If she wanted to, OK. But I wasn’t going to.
So now her was her opportunity, she figured. She stormed back in and demanded that I keep going.
I was like it’s not like that, I am not spanking. “Then what are you doing.”
You have to appreciate how odd this is, because, since she had maturity issues, that is generally how the conversations, were, in reverse. I am still standing there with fair coat of Vaseline on my unit through all this, mind you.
So after asking for a minute to tell her, I went through all the things I could tell her. I figured that a full explanation of PE wasn’t a good option. Because with her issues, that would be a problem for a zillion reasons, including her loosing her cool, and trowing it back at me at the worst possible time..
So I basically told her something along the lines of what sparky, said. That it was for a healthy man zone.
I told her I was massaging my vas deferens and checking for cancerous testicular nodules. “Why the Vaseline, then?”
So, the skin would slide through my fingers more easily, I told her. All of which was plausible. Because before we were really, freely, sexually active, we were fooling around and didn’t do it (she wanted to make me wait), and my left nut had swollen to the size of a grapefruit - it happens to me.
Anyway, that’s what happened. The scene with her holding and checking my Vaseline coated penis, in tears, was funny as hell - later. I laughed at her about it for a while.
Similar to what others have said, I don’t agree with lying in relationships, but in this case telling her the whole truth wasn’t a good thing. If we were going to be together forever, it might have been different, but with her issues (a final breaking point) telling her wouldn’t have been good.
So I guess I can see why some guys can’t come completely clean, but for her sake, all4, tell her something that will ease her mind so she doesn’t think she is loosing it.
