Question about the 8x6 legend

I have just hit 9”X6” NBPEL.

Fuck’em all, Joe!

All PE has to do with self-esteem.

There are different aspects and degrees of this.

The vanity question comes more into the picture when one is already plenty large, but wants to get larger for the sake of it. This is satisfying the ego on a very basic level.

If someone is starting out with a below average unit and has been struggling with their sex life as a result, then I don’t expect many of us would call that vanity. But it is about self-esteem: improving one’s physique and thereby raising one’s self-confidence and self-esteem to feel good and have a good sex life. This also has to do with the ego, but only to point of feeling normal, adequate and healthy. There’s nothing unreasonable about it.

Going beyond that it is a top dog/under dog game in one’s head.

Men are naturally competitive. Wanting to be the biggest (or at least very large) is synonymous with wanting to be the best. In reality this only goes so far, but not in the minds of some. It’s reasonable to question that.

Our self-esteem is important. Very important. Size is only important with regard to how it informs this. This is partly experiential, with regard to how a given size is received by the women (or men) in one’s life, but a more significant aspect is how we perceive this reception, and perhaps most significant is what we desire this reception to be.

Healthy function is what is most important biologically, but the self-esteem aspect ties in to the intimate side of our social interactions and our emotional selves.

A balance has to be struck.

Para talked about his personal desire being mediated by what would bring pleasure to the woman (or other person). This is a good thing to keep in mind.

Particularly on the upward end of size there comes a point where it isn’t all about you.

Unless it is. And that says a whole lot.

I think Para-Goomba makes some solid points. I can echo his experiences with oral sex. There are expert cocksuckers who love the challenge of working a big unit, but the average girl has trouble getting the head past her teeth. However, a woman can learn to open her jaw sufficiently for the head to get past her teeth. If she is willing, she can be trained to open her throat enough for some very good oral. The girl I mentioned above has a small mouth, but a nonexistent gag reflex. Friday, the third time I saw her, she was able to loosen the jaw and take several inches in her mouth and throat. It felt really good. Her throat was like a pussy in that it felt warm, tight, and moist.

Para makes another good point about anal sex also. The only counterpoint I want to add is that most women won’t perform anal on the first few dates anyway, even if they like it. In my experience, I have gotten anal from women who were long-term with me, either girlfriend/wives or fuck buddies. I also prefer submissive girls, who want to please in the bedroom. Those women have been willing, after a while, to try to give me what I want. If you take your time and relax her, most women can handle girth anally. It really amounts to a question of whether they are willing to try. Some women, admittedly, cannot overcome the fear, but most can. Finally, if a man thoroughly satisfies a woman in bed, instead of concentrating on his own satisfaction, the woman will be much more willing to try things than she would with a man who does not take the time to get to know her body and her sexual needs.

That’s the best summary post on PE motivation I’ve ever seen at Thunder’s Place.

All my anal-attempt experiences have been in LTRs and I can assure you I am not sexually selfish, so I guess it just comes down to different partners. The majority of my women have enjoyed being anally penetrated with up to two or three fingers (I have small fingers), but none really wanted my cock in there (though a couple let me try). I’ll have to make a trip to wherever you live to meet up with some anally adventurous types ;)

“Spiritual Enlightment” is an empty definition: what does it really mean?
Somebody with a long white beard, who meditates and looks peaceful?

I said “better man”: someone strong, though, determined and calm.
I believe PE gives these to a man.

There’s no proof I can offer, though. You may want to compare your pre and post PE status to check it, or just use intuition.

I wasn’t implying that you were a selfish lover, Para-Goomba. In fact, the post I responded to clearly indicates the opposite. My comment about taking the time to get her ready, etc,. Was not directed at you. I meant that as general advice for the guys here. I’m sorry if it came of as a negative comment toward you.

The fact is that you are probably even thicker than I am and that there is a limit as to what most women will endure sexually, even to please a man who puts their fulfillment ahead of his own. I also think that my preference for sexually submissive women increases my success rate considerably.

Para-Goomba’s knocking heads today.

Thanks for the (very spirited and enthusiastic) response PG.

With regards the suggestion to stick something large up my ass— I’d prefer not ;)

I must admit, not unsurprisingly, I like oral sex a lot so maybe I’ll stick at 8x5.5 (thanks for the heads-up).

What are peoples thoughts on the size at which oral sex becomes a problem?

Oral doesn’t usually become a problem… .Until you’re married.

Then it’s just a problem to get it. ;)

Very true about marriage and oral! Mr. F., oral can be a problem at 5.5”, too. I think the size of the head is more of a determining factor than mid-shaft girth. The head is the area where teeth can really ruin the experience. Once the head is past her teeth, a little drag on the shaft isn’t a big problem, especially if you can open her throat a bit. So guys who have the big mushroom heads, like my friend Tom, have more problems with head than I do, even though my mid-shaft girth is considerably more than his.

Doggman, thanks for the clarification, and I apologize, too, if my post came off as overly defensive. I just have trouble understanding how our experiences could be so different with this, but I can tell by your goodwill that you aren’t BSing about things any more than I am. You’re probably right that the difference has to do with your selection of more submissive partners and maybe a girth difference (or at least a visual difference — I’m a really skinny dude so maybe that makes it look more frightening). For what it’s worth, I’ve had the unusual experience (according to other guys here) of never having had any problem fitting 8” length into a woman (vaginally), so I realize that random chance in the women we meet makes a big difference in our experiences too. It’s good to have many perspectives shared here so that single guys can make informed decisions about how big they really want to get.

:rofl:

You’re welcome. I think that we PEers sometimes lose sight of the realities of body cavity size… and the variation therein.

This just threw a monkey wrench in my thought process. I was watching porn :) and a link came up for midget porn, so I clicked it. I’m weird like that.

These little midget porn stars were taking big dicks!

The guys dick was as big as her arm, and he was balls deep. How the fuck it fit is beyond me, but it was in there. Granted I know porn is all illusion and fantasy, but it still happened.

Granted these dicks weren’t 8x6 but they weren’t 6x5 either.

WTF!

I feel like 9”X6” is still small. I don’t care about women’s opinions on the dick sizes, and P.E is also nothing to do with self-esteem, ego, vanity, pride etc.,

LOL! Well I can safely say that your wrong there. If a guy has a small dick it is also likely that he will have a low self esteem, therefore using PE to make his dick bigger will raise his self esteem. Plus broad sweeping statements that try to summarise something a complex as human emotion like “PE has NOTHING to do with self-esteem, ego, vanity, pride etc” are always wrong, regardless of wheather it is true in your case.

PE has everything to do with ego. My ego > your ego, :. I feel adequate to pursue vagina while you on the other hand are not worth of such pursuit as you will get rejected.