Mongoose, as Dr. Twat and PirateSteve have said, you should see about some professional help if it’s available to you. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s really no big deal. But your condition is, in part, chemical and you might need some help dealing with that imbalance while you address other aspects of your life. That may mean therapy, and it may mean drugs, but you got to deal with it. Don’t let years go by like I did.
Judging from the way you write, you’re a very intelligent 18 year old. I think you suffer from a sort of Curse of the Smart. Many guys here do. There’s hundreds of millions of men who go through life under worse conditions than you and I and they never give it a second thought and never even try. But you’re intelligent, and introspective, and you think a lot. And as you do, you can find yourself falling into a Spiraling Cycle of Suckatude, where you’re basically piling one shitty feeling on top of another like some big confusing scrum of crap. I remember feeling absolutely fucked when I was 18, and I really saw no hope of ever getting out of it.
But, I did. And for various reasons I’ve gone through a few more Suck Cycles in the subsequent decades and somehow muddled through. With that perspective, I now know that there is almost a predictability to it: there’s the shit coming down, then the feeling of being at the bottom of the pile. After a few days or weeks, or months, I start to sort through the confusion and determine what I have to accept, and what I can change. And then, after a while, I feel better and I’m that much more ready if I get stuck at the bottom of a pile of crap again. So, trite as it sounds, things will get better.
I suggest your situation may be less ominous if you figure out a few things you can actually do, rather than dwelling on those things you can’t address right now. As PS says, try new things. Martial arts maybe. See about a therapist, or at least talk to your family physician. If you don’t already, you should make time to exercise. And somehow you have to change those negative tapes that keep playing in your head about penis size, or virginity, or whatever.
As for your dick size, you are doing well already, but see what I wrote here a while ago: Ike - I must increase!
Finally, one PE technique you might try is the under the leg, or manual BTC stretch. I do them in bed with my wife a foot away and she doesn’t know. Just lie on your back with your knees up, reach around under your thigh, and grab your dick as far towards the base as possible, so you don’t have that glans grip problem you describe. Then pull. Another under the covers stretch is one of Doc’s Pogos (Doc’s Pogo’s) As you do the pogo, reach around behind your ass and pull your dick. It’s a good stretch.