should you tell your son about PE

It’s just part of the human condition. For all of our good intentions, we all screw up! We can all find fault with our parents’ approach to raising us. And try as we might to avoid repeating their mistakes, we make new ones that are just as bad.

Sometimes, we as parents try too hard to help things along for our kids. And, other times, kids unconsciously try to fulfill their parents’ broken dreams. My grandfather played “pro” baseball in the early days of traveling teams. My father had a major league baseball contract in his hands, but fate had other plans for him. I set out to be a better ball player than either of them, so that both would be proud of me for carrying the family tradition to the next level. I was a solid hitter, could pitch and catch, and ran like the wind. But, for whatever reason, I never could “click” with the sport the way I wanted to.

I think I was always discouraged that my father showed so little interest in my playing “the family sport”, and my grandfather passed away before he ever got to see me play. I loved baseball, but I think a lot of my motivation was misplaced. My kids also love baseball, and I never miss one of their games no matter what it takes to get there. But, I find myself having to work at keeping my desires for them in check. They really enjoy playing, but are not driven to excel in this area. I have to accept that and not force it. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to just let it be.

Same with so many other things that I’d love to be able to “give” them. They need room to be themselves, and I have to accept who they are and be proud of that. Not try to turn them into my dreams for them (or try to live through them). When it comes to PE, I don’t want either of them to ever suffer insecurities about “size”. But I have to be careful that I don’t “give” them any insecurities in the process of trying to “help” them. I like the idea of keeping communications very open with our kids, and if they ask or express interest we tell them about the existence of PE. Perhaps, then, we leave it entirely up to them to source the information. We can sometimes be too helpful, I think. I know I am way guilty of that. Letting them do a little scratching on their own for things is a good way to produce more self-reliant adults. I want my kids to have everything they need, but we can make them helpless by being TOO helpful.

Just thinking out loud, here!

bigjack

bigjack - very true. But do you think that we really end up doing mistakes that are just as bad? My only hope is that my mistakes will be just a little less harmful. I’d like to think there is some progress through the generations. I mean, my grandparents used to hit my parents, at least they didn’t do that to me.

But your story about the family sport moved me, as it reminded me of my family and our projections of unfulfilled dreams from generation to generation. Poor kids (including us of course) have to carry this weight on their shoulders.

It’s not easy though, to accept the fact that you and your son are two separate beings. Mine is young, so the memory is fresh - they are born totally dependent on you, they do live through you in a way, and then begins a very very slow and gradual process of gaining independence. Sometimes this process never ends.

1hunglow - your story was creepy, my ex wife is very temperamental, it made me realize that if she ever finds out I talked to my son about PE she *will* call the cops! :(

I really like this thread… BigJack nice post.

>”I fully understand what you’re saying. I feel the same with my parents, especially my mother. I feel the systems that she imprinted on me and which I want to break free from are very powerful, so powerful that it’s hard for me to even talk with her sometimes.”<

Braker this is an excellent comment. Dead on with what I’m trying to say. I feel there are just somethings me and my parents can not talk about because we come from two different “worlds”…

I’m learning really that each person sees the world and themselves in it differently…and they act accordingly. Each one of us has their journey, even though we might come from the same family, neighborhood, etc. we all have to go through that “walk” alone if you know what I mean. Some might not ever go through it, some never get that opportunity to make fully make their own decisions, beliefs, etc. That is when I think you truly find out who you are, when nobody is holding your hand or thinking for you.

I’m learning this daily and I liken PE to this “journey.” At first I just wanted a bigger dick just to have it, you know like having a sports car or a tattoo or something. But now, I see it as something more than that…I can honestly say If I never slept with another woman and got married tomorrow I’d still want a bigger dick. And I’m willing to put my time in no matter how long it takes to get it.

Some one in another post likened PE to bodybuilding. I agree, this takes discipline, and builds character. Hell, I tell my Dad who actively tells me he wants to get “bigger” about working out and nutrition all the time. But he doesn’t listen, and that’s fine. I don’t force the issue. I realize I’m on a different path than him.

I realize there aren’t alot of people that think like that, like PEers do, especially outside the small circle of us here. And I’m ok with that, I feel like I belong to a very exclusive club. I feel so happy and humbled at the same time that I found this place, I really do. But at the same time, I don’t think if I tell everyone of my buddies or kids one day it would mean the same to them.

If I do ever have a son one day, of course I would want to tell him about PE and my PE experiences. I think every parent wants a better life for their kids than the one they had, but it might mean more if he found Thunder’s place on his own…if its still around.

You are right, every person has his own path, and has to make his own decisions and often his own mistakes in order to learn and grow. Some people (like my mom) may not grow anymore. Maybe they’ve decided not to grow and change, maybe they can’t find the power within them to do that. It’s hard for me to accept as my whole purpose in life is to grow and learn and change, but that’s just the way it is.

Though sometimes I do wonder - if to show respect for your parents is to accept them the way they are, or maybe it’s not to give up on them, never to give up on trying to communicate, trying to help them grow - they helped you grow didn’t they?

And regarding PE taking discipline.. you know, I sometimes wish I had as much discipline and commitment in other areas of my life as I have in PE. I guess it just shows that if you really want something, you could do wonders.

One thing that has not been mentioned that is of great importance to this discussion is that PE does not work for everyone. What percentage of people does it not work for 5, 10 20, 50 more?!! Is it worth going through the ordeal of giving your son this “gift” only for him to have to go through the dissapointment of not making gains- he might hate you for giving him the false hope. If you do tell him I think it is essential to make clear to him the inherrent uncertainty of making gains. Obviously it has worked for you or you would not be telling him- it is not so for all.

There are fast gainers and slow gainers. From this forum we know there are also some no gainers (at least up until now), but they are very rare. I would guess less than 5 percent. However we can never know for sure because this is based only on people that post.

Donger,

Definitely tell him about PE. He’ll appreciate it for a lifetime. But more importantly is the timing. Ever wonder why all jelqing ads mention Arabs beginning jelqing lessons at the beginning of adolecents? It is simply because this is the period when the body begins to produce more testosterone. And testosterone causes the body to mature and sexual organs to grow. In conjunction with PE exercises the results would have to be greater during this puberty stage. For proof look up in a pharmecutical drug guide, the side effects of testosterone injections.” Increase in size of sexual organs in adolecents”.
So in conclusion:Formally teaching your son at the beginning of adolecence would be of much greater benifit than trying to play catch up like we will for the rest of our lifes. Just include it with the birds and the bees.

Sixwhitehorses

Hey six,

Nice to see you here.

Did you mean to hit reply instead of post new thread? I’ve done that :D Mr. Thunder kindly cleaned it up.

Baz asked me to write about telling my son about PE. I have two sons. It worked out well for me, cause the older son told the younger son. I only had to jump the gorge once. I told the eldest a couple years ago, when he was about 20. We have always had a good relationship, very close, but never a discussion about anything as personal as PE.

I say “jump the gorge”, because that is what it seemed like to me. Go for broke and do it with vigor. I was doing the hanger thing (trying to develop it), a lot of questions being asked and ignored or otherwise rebuffed. I knew I had to say something at some point. So on a drive alone with my eldest, I just forcefully jumped into it (he could not run). No outward embarassment, just full speed ahead, this is the way it is, if you don’t like talking about it, tough shit, it will be over soon.

I started out talking about working out (overall body), how people desired to change their bodies. How it was possible to change just about anything. Then, how women and men used surgery to change just about anything. Then, I just jumped into even changing your penis. Let her rip.

At first, he was dead quiet, then he asked the question, “does it work”? hehe. I told him a little of my story. Later, I emailed him the forum addresses. Later still, I sent him a hanger when he asked for one. He does not tell me anything about his personal PE, nor do I really want him to. But from conversations, or just comments, I know he appreciated me telling him.

I guess a lot of how the message is received depends on how it is delivered, and the previous relationship with the son. If you let them know upfront, that there is NOTHING dirty or weird about it, then that will take you a long way.

I am really glad I did it.

Bigger

Great advice, Bib! I know when I have sons I’m going to tell them about PE. I agree that just putting it out there without apologies is the way to go. That’s what I did when I told my 19 year old brother about PE, and he was just like your son. He asked, “Does it work” and now he’s doing PE.

I think the last thing a kid wants to talk about with his parent(s) is his dick. It all depends on what kind of person your kid is…if he comes to you for advice, then why not? It might give him a complex, but American society will take care of that anyway. Or he might snitch you out to social services. Who knows? It’s a tightrope…

Well i believe its fine for a father to tell his son. My father didnt tell me but i stumbled upon this sight. im uhhh “18”(young) and have been doing pe for about 2 months and gaind about .25, went from 6x5 to about 6.25x5.2. i find this to be great i mean damn why not get a jump on the gun, by the time im 30 ill have a 9” penis. Well thats just me.

Nice thread going on here.

While I don’t have kids, I could never imagine telling my son about PE unless he were to come to me first with questions and/or insecurities.

I think the last thing a parent should do is to project his/her own insecurities onto their child.
My own father did this to me regarding height and sports. Of course I turned out 6’4” and was an exceptional tennis and basketball player. ;)

Maybe the way to let your son know about this info would be to send an anonymous email with a link to this site. You can set email addresses without your name from the well known sites. Granted the best way would be to have an open enough relationship that you could have this discussion with him without this kind of secrecy. This could expose him to the info without things getting too wierd.

As far as just doing a little research and finding out this info on his own easily, I’d have to disagree. I’ve looked before and just found this info and gratefully this site in the last few months. I’m 39 and would have loved to have had this info back in my teen years. Having always been on the small side, showering back in junior high was a painful experience. Just have always gotten the impression since then that this was just a fact of life that I’d have to live with. I think that learning about this sooner and putting it into practice with positive results would help out in the self confidence area.

Good idea!

Also if I have son(s) I would find it hard to tell him due to my natural tendancy to not open-up.

If my father had told me something like this it probably would be like all conversations go, with a very distanced negative and put-down style attitude.

I’d probably awnser his not with a “does it work” but a “yhea (said with a laugh), but that’s the kind of stuff they say to make money of people, like weight loss programs”.
See this is how everything goes with our family and no-one want’s to “open-up” by saying “does it work” which is saying to the other person that you want a bigger dick and it’s even possible that you also have a small one!

If my son carries these genes on I doubt I could take that kind of discussion with him.

Guess it’ll have to stay like it is with my father and like past generations and also my grandfather, just stuff like “did you see the footy yest’d…’”, or “did you see the cricket…”

Not very farther-son is it?
Just a lot of chest-slapping and “onya-mate” type of macho stuff.

Wonder where Thunder’s place was back then? ;)

Never had to show my dick at school, we never had showers after sports (no showers at our high school), just used to put our school clothes back on after our sports session (Physical Education). :) —- But classes after stunk of deoderant!—-All different kinds too!