Telling the Wife about PE

luv,

About the length. My wife, for months and months, acted like I was juuuust about done with length. This was from about eight inches on up. Finally, at 10.5 she was serious. Very serious. But for at least two inches of growth, she let it keep coming. Funny.

Hell, now that she knows, you have a lot more options. Keep going till she gets it where she wants it. Tie a ribbon around it for Xmas.

Great post,

Bigger

Well I just read this entire thread and I think it is definitely a very good one. This is an issue that every single one of us PE’ers must think about at some time.

First a few things on previous comments;

I mean no offense and I hope you don’t take it that way but Luvaduvs I really have a problem with the comment you made on the first page about women who talk about penis and penis related issues with with their boyfriends or friends. You call these women (who talk more than others about it) slutty.

In my opinion, this is exactly the reason why we have communication problems with women about sex. Women are “conditioned” or too scared to take about it because of their fear of being branded as “Sluts.

We all of us (men and women) are to have sex discussions without feeling embarrassed, ashamed or slutty the improvement in out sex lives (which indirectly improves so many other parts of our relationships) will be expontential.

Obviously the fear of inimate discussions and openness about sex that many women have and they we men complain about, come from us and our attitudes in the first place!

Sorry for the rant, no offensive, luvaduvs I always read and enjoy your contributions.

With respect to women talking about it with their friends; I agree completely, unless you swear them to secrecy, you can expect your “private discussion” to get out. Women talk, that is just a fact we have to deal with. If you want to keep it a private matter, than don’t tell anyone.

I did tell my girlfriend of 2 years and she wasn’t happy about it. I feel that it is a combination of he concern for any long term and short term effects (as I did have a little ED due to over work a little while ago) and her own insecurities.

I really agree with Hang 10 who wrote that women are hesitant to support it because they feel (maybe only subconsciously) that you have an alterior motive for doing it which deals with your desires for some one new or their own self perceived inadaquacies.

Address their insecurities and the chances are you will get the support you are looking for (unless you have a 2 hour a day “habit” as some one put it haha).

BP

I guess my choice of terms could have been better. What I was trying to convey was two sets of women with different extremes of interest in sexual issues. The handy derogatories of prude and slut are discriptive and do convey the types of persons I speak about but using words ordinarily considered derogatory could understandably generate the concerns you voice.

>>Women are “conditioned” or too scared to take about it because of their fear of being branded as “Sluts.>>

I agree completely and have made this point myself.

>>Obviously the fear of inimate discussions and openness about sex that many women have and they we men complain about, come from us and our attitudes in the first place!>>

I think you have a little trouble backing up this assertion. Many womens hang up about discussing sex and thier true desires stem from parents, religion, societal norms and of course from other individuals, but I would think that thier attitudes about the issue are more influenced by the attitudes of other women than men.

luvaduvs, it is true and I agree that the influences which seem to stifle communication and openess in women when it comes to sex are more societal. Religion and upbringing really are the main offenders.
I guess my point on that is that there are some many other forces pressuring women one way or another, that we men, if we want improvements in this area, need to buck the trends.
Show support and do not label or judge them!

BP

agreed.

Well…. what do ya know Luv. You thought she was more than happy with your size, and now it turns out she wouldn’t mind another inch. The truth always comes out eventually.

This just supports that size does matter, not to all women, but I think to most.

I think she is happy with my size. I think she wouldn’t mind if I were another 6 inches taller either. She answered honestly and I appreciated that. I’m not intimidated in the least by her answer. In fact her answer basically gives me permission to work for more rather than having to fret about whether I’m going to hurt her. I think a combination of things has happened. She may have stretched out a little. We both may have learned ways to avoid painful moves. She may also have taken “new” fuller sensation initially to be “uncomfortable” (for lack of a better description) but now she may identify them with stronger orgasms hence now “pleasureable”. Yeah she wouldn’t mind another inch, but If I don’t get there no big deal for her or me. Actually I’m the only one that might have a tinge of dissappointment if I don’t get close to getting there.

I often wonder about this “alterior motive” or what I have referred to as our “hidden agenda.”

I am beginning to believe that much of our PE motivation is not for the one woman, but the many women.

I mean, everyone wants to be appreciated, right?

here is a similar post about this

I think that you make good points and pose good questions in these two posts.

However I can only speak for myself here. I am more than certain that I started all this without any thought of cheating, I just wanted to restore my ability to keep good erections after orgasm to keep on going as long as needed.

Did I have thoughts about what other women would be like after I gained say and inch? Sure, but I’m not sure that the pe had any thing to do with that - I had them from time to time before too. All married persons have these thoughts from time to time, I’m sure including my wife. However I think that it is our moral values that determine whether one actually goes out and makes that fantasy a reality. I think it was on peforums that mraverage had a poll that pretty much confirmed that the rate of “cheating” among pe’ers was about the same as the general population of males.

My first thoughts (fears) about sharing the PE info with the wife were:

1. She has too much to drink and blabs it to a group of friends that already know WAAAY too much about our sex life. Once its out of the mouth, there is no way to put the words back in! (jelktoid has a good story about friends finding out)

2. PE sends her over the edge - files for divorce and it ends up a point of discussion in court (anything can be discussed there).

I don’t think these things will happen, but these type thoughs make it easier to hide than explain. She has noticed a couple of times that it seems bigger, but I explain that “Its those longitude pills finally kicking in”

Happy holidays guys

My wife noticed one day when I was just sitting on the couch in just a night shirt with my dick hanging over my balls, and before she realized she blurted out damn your dick is big. but that was only after I had been doing pe for about 7 weeks. she is constintently looking at it and making comments about me being in the shower for so long. I just tell her I need the time to think and really clean my ass. I think she knows, but she’s not going to come out and say anything. and I’m not going to tell her.

P.S. she made a comment before about how funny my dick was shorter than my balls. and that’s why I’m not saying anything.

You know what I hate? How women can go and get boob jobs and everyone accepts that it is to improve their self esteem and it is no big deal. But if a man wants to do anything to improve his penis, then he is likely to be seen as some perverted freak who wants to cheat with other women. Women can use vibrators and it is accepted and often encouraged by their partners, but if a man is caught with a penis pump or something then it is BIG fucking issue.

In my opinion this is all about the wussification of men. Some guys here have managed to not get turned into a wuss, while others (like me) have turned into big wussies to please their mate. Well, guess what? Being a wuss sucks and women don’t really like it even though they created it. Think aobut how (if you are older) you were in college… a stud that lived like a man and didn’t apologize for being a man. Now… big fucking wuss bag!!

Sorry for the rant.

Sometimes you need to get to the bottom of wussiness in order to get a hold of your life and change.

That’s what happened to me, and I was so deep in it that I couldn’t get out without splitting up with my wife. But it sure feels better to have self esteem again!

I think it has to do with the same reason we can accept two women doing each other more readily than we can two men doing each other. I just cant articulate the reason.

(Naturally, speaking from a hetero POV…no offense to the other persuasion…just stating a fact.)

I haven’t explicitly told my wife about my PE journey over the past 2 years, and I don’t intend to. Obviously, I have changed in size, but because of the gradual transition to greater length and girth, she has adapted to the changes without issue. I don’t go out of my way to conceal my devices. We have his and her bathroom sinks and individual storage cabinets under the sinks. I keep my cylinders, powerjelq, etc. in an unlocked bag in the cabinet. If she were to snoop, she would discover these items in a heartbeat, but she’s respectful of my stuff and would not go searching unless she had a specific reason to. Even if she did find my paraphernalia and asked me about them, I would probably straight out tell her what they were without hesitation.

I’m not embarrassed about the gains I’ve made. In fact, I’m incredibly proud for the self-empowerment that PE and a bigger dick has given me. My PE doesn’t hurt anyone, and I am respectful of the fact that my wife may not be comfortable with my performing PE techniques in front of her based on her upbringing. It’s all about knowing your partner and having respect for the individual and one’s privacy.

I do think that men in general need to “dewussify” if that has happened to them. This confusion as to what our real “roles” are now has caused more dysfunctionality than probably anything else affecting male/female relationships. “Dewussifying” doesn’t imply being mean or aggressive or disrespectful to the opposite sex. What it does mean is that we have a right to be “male” without apology. Men and women are programmed differently, and we should all respect and accept those inherent genetic differences as a good thing.

Peforeal