Telling the Wife about PE

dude,

Stand up and me proud of your wussiness! But tell the wifey your pulling your pud and your not going to stop until your dick is dragging in the dirt behind you.

You’ll feel better, I promise. And if she thinks your a nut and wants a divorce you can claim an insanity plea.

You know it’s only a big issue if you want it to be.

Fuck it if they can’t take a joke…. Or something like that.

I think luvdadus email approach is right on if you can’t handle a frontal assault.

Good to see you back posting again.

zep

I dn’t mean to hijack this thread, but it is nice to hear that some guys have a better situation then I do. I am in the middle of a divorce, so, of course, I wouldn’t be teling my wife a damn thing. It is just that the subject made it seem so obvious to me that men are controlled by women in many cases (not all). I know other non-wussified guys have hit on this, but for me, it really takes the shingles falling off of my eyes through the divorce to see how men feel the need to "ask permission" or get approval for their own non-harmful actions. Plenty have said that it is not asking permission, but then the issue comes up what to do if you "inform" her of your actions and she says she does not like it and wants you to quit. In my opinion, if you are a habitual wussy like I have been for 12 years of marriage, then you buckle (and increase your wuss factor). However, if you have maintained your manhood all along with a woman and then tell her about PE, then you are not going to buckle if she does not like it so much. My point is that I would not make PE the begginning of the non-wuss actions with a woman. As some have noted, there is a high embarassment factor here if she busts you out on it.

By the way, since I am getting ready to start dating again, I have tried to read up on the subject, because my "game" is so far in the past I can’t even remember the damn thing. I am pretty sure that it was here at Thunders that I was pointed to a couple good sites that can really help a "man" get back on his feet.

1. Dating Tips - Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo (this one does not have much on the site, but the purchased material is great and the BEST thing is to sign up for his weekly emails - they are golden)

2. Hundreds of Free Articles on Meeting, Attracting, and Dating Women - Tips and Advice (visit the Don Juan center, lots of great stuff on the site and the emails you get are good also)

Please note that both these sites are very good and I do NOT believe they are dedicated to any kind of disrespect of women. I don’t go for that. In my opinion, they try to enlighten men that women want a strong man (NOT a wuss or Mr. Nice Guy). I found that for an older guy like me that feels he has fucked up his life a little, there are many lessons to be learned here… not just lessons about how to talk to women and have them more attracted to you.

Of course, having a bigger dick can’t hurt either!! LOL

What is it that lets men allow themselves to be “wussified”?
I think that I have at least a little insight into this. Men and women have two different sets of needs and wants in regards to emotional/romantic relationships.

Women desire romance and need provision and protection. (Ladies don’t get in a huff, this is from an instinctual survival pattern and is largely carried out unconsciously).

Men desire approval and need acceptance and caretaking.
I think many men get unrealistic. Herre’s where they go wrong: They confuse the NEED of acceptance with the DESIRE of approval.
They set themselves up and are disappointed if their mate has any thing less than approval for whatever aspect of them is at issue. When a man developes this pattern being “needy” of approval he sets himself up to be manipulated by his mate who can simply withold approval of whatever. For men who recognize that you have been wussified, I suggest that you make a GRADUAL change in you attitude. Realize that your spouse may still accept and love you without necessarily “approving” and giving positive comments about your every act. It is enough that she loves you in spite of your faults and quirkiness. While a spouse may not give a positive stamp of approval to PE efforts - is it not enough that there is acceptance and not active disparagement of the practice? It seems to me that a wife that does’t say “Wow make it huge!” isn’t necessarily saying “don’t do it.” She may feel uneasy about admitting that she might want a bigger you if it is possible. All that Victorian history.
After having said all this I still think that the decision on when or if to tell a spouse is intensly personal and so many variables work into this. For those that “get busted”, my advice is to simply and calmly tell her what you are doing, why you are doing it, that it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with your own sense of self as a man-and thank you for your reassurance but I am going to continue my efforts so get used to it.
Well, I suspect that after having that conversation things could be tense for a while for some, but I think that if one stand his ground, avoiding anger shouting and unpleasantness, just being firm acceptance will follow, and maybe after more time even approval.

Huge

Good to see you grew your balls back. The same thing happen to me after a few years of marriage I looked down and had no balls.
So I said where the fuck are my balls. So I went out a bought another Harley like I used to have before I got married and started riding with the guys again and guess what my balls grew back, much to the dismay of the little women. Who then soon wanted a divorce so after about year, and then seeing that I wasn’t going to come running back to her a no balled little wuss, guess what she was ready to do what ever it takes to make it work with her big balled husband. In my opinion you got to treat your women with respect but you can never give up who you are to try to please anybody. And back to PE she knows that every morning I pe and that it’s my time. She say’s I don’t need it and that I’m the perfect size for her but she said that when I was 6.25 and than at 7.00 and than at 7.5 and now at 8.00. So since every size is perfect for her I’m looking for the perfect size for me.

Dino }:-) ~

Wow.. luvdadus and dino, two great posts!

Even though I’ve been going through a very similar process in the last year since me and my wife got separated, these posts have made me think about this from yet another angle.

Don’t you think that a part of this problem men (and women - because they suffer from it to!) have has to do with the confusion in the roles between the sexes, especially since feminism?

Braker,

I do NOT think that women suffer from the same thing. they may suffer other gender related role issues, but we are talking about men losing their “balls” due to the proding of many women (not all women mind you). One issue in this is the concept that many women push men (usually after marriage) to conform to their desires for a well-behaved mate. However, my contention is that this leads to disaster in many cases because women end up not respecting the “nice guy” wuss bag they have created. Now, I take responsibility for letting this happen in my case.

But think of this… if you attracted your wife by being a “ballsy” non-wuss bag guy (yet still respectful), then why are you going to continue to attract your wife after you change into a wuss-bag. One of the biggest things my wife has complained about me is that I have “changed” and she is not attracted to me. Now, mind you, that I am in reality better looking, healthier, more muscular, richer, smarter, a great father… all improvements over what I was 12 years ago. What could have changed then? Well, I am not as “ballsy” and as much of an independant man than I was 12 years ago. I believe that in the end it all has to do with keeping their interest level high, keeping them attracted to you, and remaining a “challenge” to some extent. These were things I had before marriage. In the future, I will guard these things much more.

Food for thought.

By the way… Dino, you are da man and don’t ever forget that my friend!!

I posted this in another thread and realized that it really belonged here also. I had actually forgotten that I talked about this with my wife.

the post:
Guys,

If you want to “test” what a woman likes, try to have sex after a good jelq session or pumping. I did this a lot with my wife and it was very fun. She, of course, noticed the much greater girth and asked about it and I would tell her that I was extra horny and that I had done some excercises I read about in a men’s magazine that were supposed to help guys as they got older to keep healthy erections. I called it a “massage” I did and even showed her what it was and how it made my veins pop out and the head get full. I would say I did it as part of my usual jacking off, which she always knew I did at least daily.

She told me sometimes that the size was too much, but then at times she would tell me how she liked the bigger size…. go figure.
*** end of post

So, I guess I did “have to” explain to her a little bit. But I never told her I did it for penis “enlargement”. I said it was for health. Once when she found my penis pump I told her it was a sexual device I used when she didn’t have sex with me… which she rarely had with me. I told her I got sick of just jerking off all the time. Of course, when the Austin Powers movies came out… the whole discussion came out again, but I stuck to my story.

Well as you know I have let the wife in on my pe activities. I have now also suggested a schedule of private time for my workouts.

Last night I showed the wife the vacuum pump I just bought yesterday to incorporate into my total pe program. It was easy for her to accept it, I bought her one of those prized Rabbit pearl vibrators (I think that she has been secretly desiring one for years but never made a specific indication - everything is indirect) at the same trip to the adult video/toy store. Overall my wife has reacted quite well, better than I thought. Yeah she made the obligatory “dont you think its big enough?” question but I got the clear impression that the question was meant to compliment me not to discourage me from my efforts. Her attitude towards it seems to be mildly curious about it and slightly turned on. At first this kind of struck me as a little odd, but after thinking about it I think it makes perfect sense. One of our little variations (you get a lot of “variations” after 25 years of marriage) is me watching her masturbate and then after she cums, climbing on for my finish. Or like a few nights ago - vice versa. She seems real turned on by watching me cum or cumshots on videos etc. Anyhow I think that it turns her on a knowing I’m regularly messing with my dick. I think it also turns her on a that I told her that I intended to continue (I didn’t ask for permission or approval). So I’m gonna pump in addition to my jelq and stretch. I’ll be opening a thread in the pumper’s forum for input.

Great story. Thanks for sharing.

Man, you have a wonderful relationship with your wife of 25 years!! Keep doing whatever you are doing to keep it going strong and even improving.

“Her attitude towards it seems to be mildly curious about it and slightly turned on. At first this kind of struck me as a little odd…”

In addition to what I wrote above, I also found this info on fastseduction.com. It is perhaps another thing that resulted in the “turn on thing” I was revealing secrets.

Have and reveal secrets

<<< >>>
If you’ve ever wondered, how to reconcile the seeming discrepancy between the two most common things you’ve heard about women, namely:

women like mystery in a man
women like to know secrets about a man
then here’s an explanation by Kate Reynolds from Mindlist:

“A short time ago there was a thread about revealing secrets as a way to gain rapport. IMHO this really is a great way to establish rapport, but it can be carried too far. I (and perhaps other women) like the idea of layers. Like peeling an onion, we like to think there is always more that we don’t know yet. So, sharing a secret is fine as long as you convey the idea that there are lots more - and that you are willing to give some up for a price. I grow bored when I think I know all there is to know about someone.”

It’s great to hear that you came out of the closet. I think that your wife is a lot like mine. Mine has gone through sort of an evolution. From doubt to amazement to how much bigger are you going to get. I don’t think that she will complain if I get another inch or so, but I can definitely hurt her now if I’m not careful. However, guys like Bigger and Doublelongdaddy are on the ridiculous end of the scale and don’t seem to hurt their wives/partners, so who knows. I’m still moving ahead (I’m hanging 25 lbs. off my dick as we speak).

I agree that women seem to be facinated by mystery in a man. I also think that many women want to subconciously surrender to a man with a huge dick. With this in mind, I would suggest that you push ahead and grow yourself an anaconda.

I am also going to start pumping - maybe today. I just bought the vaseline on my way to the office. Thank goodnes for Avocet’s tutorial.

And Mr. J, you do have some amazing storys to tell!!

luvdadus

Have you let her watch you pump it up, maybe she would go for it if you pumped to a huge size and tied it off at the bottom. Maybe she would enjoy taking the monster for a ride. I don’t have a pump anymore and I only tried pumping for a short period about 1.5 years ago, but I was amazed at the temporary size I could get and I always wished I had some place warm tight and wet to put it.

Dino

might try that one day!!

How long does the temporary pump last? Is it hard, I mean could you actually fuck with it?