The wife thinks PE is having a negative affect on our sex lives

We lock them out at beginning of night. Have our time, then unlock, sometimes wake up with one or two in the bed that morning.

Same here

Mine sleeps at the foot of the bed, three years old. We’re just quiet when we do it. His sleeping patterns are under construction right now, with me working to get him to sleep in his own room and stay there. He still gets up several times a night and pesters us, so my wife and I have literally — LITERALLY — not gotten a full night’s rest in over three years.

The exhaustion combined with the stress of having a stubborn toddler and two teens and a nutty ex-wife and so on causes a lot of tension in the marriage. Removing that one problem of a sleepless toddler is a #1 priority for me right now.

I’m sitting in a chair outside his room while he falls asleep. That’s a start. We moved his cot out of our room, no longer at the foot of our bed, but he dragged in his blanket and nap mat last night and slept at the foot anyway. At least he’s not in the bed!

But tonight I’ll start walking him back to his bedroom and sitting in my chair outside his door to make sure he stays put. It’ll be sleepless for me for a while, but hopefully no more than a week or two.

I tell my wife that we need to make our marriage a priority. I keep saying this here and to her — a happy, passionate marriage is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our children. That gift will keep giving long after we are both gone, so make it a priority.

I’m already divorced once, and that ain’t no gift to nobody, amigo. That’s a footlong fattie of suck-dick suffering, and it usually starts with an apathetic wife not giving her husband sex, and then he gets pissy and so on the end.

We are going to counseling, and I’m not pressuring her for sex. In fact, in another thread you might have seen that I’m going fapless. Part of that is the frustration I feel from my wife’s rejection, and my lack of ability and training to resist the urge to be pissed the fuck off when she says no. I figure if I can frustrate myself enough, I won’t feel so bad about her rejections. Odd, but it’s sort of like forcing yourself to drink until you’re sick, so you won’t want to drink anymore.

- Saul

I’m 99% sure she isn’t at this point. The tides have turned in the last week since I 1. Started helping her more with the kids 2. I started taking care of random chores that would usually be left for a woman.
3. Last but not least. I QUIT INITIATING SEX! I started passing out first every night so that I wouldn’t have to ask.

I also dry off in front of her when I get out of the shower and let her see it hang everyday. She got so horny after about 5 days of me not initiating sex that she woke up at 4:00 AM to pee and took all of her clothes off and woke me up for sex. She came in no time. I’m still not to thd point where I will start initiating it again. Not yet anyway.

I am not niave at all but I highly doubt it at this point. Also if you read my last post you will see that her libido is returning to normal recently. I think its mainly attributed to the fact that I am not initiating sex for a while now. Its making her want me again. I’m making sure she sees it hang when I get out of the shower. I’m also helping with some of the traditional motherly chores.

Makes sense. My wife gets that way sometimes if the chores build up on her. She also hates it when I come on too strong for sex. She says it makes her feel like a whore. All in all, I think you are on the right track.

Ours slept in the bed when babies - the wife nursed all of them so they wanted feedings thru the night since the package was just too irresistible - warm milk, living nipple, mama’s heartbeat. But then the battle always began cause they didn’t want to stop coming to our bed when it was time to be weaned. What worked well was, we’d bar them from our bed but not from our room, so several wound up sleeping on our floor for a few weeks or months (and one in particular, halfway under our bed). Of those that camped out on the floor, each eventually decided their bed was better (cause we started them on their bed each night but moved them to our floor if they cried more than a few minutes), so we didn’t have to be the heavy and no long-term harm for us or for them.

Same observations: the pill doesn’t help (screwing with hormones that run our mind-body). Went thru same difficult scenario with my wife which really sucked. I agree with others that the kids were a huge part of the problem with the kids making her feel much more like a mom than like a wife. It didn’t help that I was a controlling, angry guy. No amount of gaming her or reverse psychology worked - she just remained largely unavailable which didn’t help with the alternatives I was turning to. Eventually we had some counseling that over time (much patience required) helped both of us greatly - we did a lot of work, saw our relationship and love reborn and on the sex front went from complete famine to 1-2 times a week which I can live with. Good luck mate (and keep those kids out of your bed!).

You guys are making me feel extremely lucky! Six kids and not one sleeps in our bed outside of the first year because of nursing. And we have sex literally 13 out 14 days we kept count recently!

So for the one guy who made it sound like he was some great cocksmen…guess you were wrong. Women are a lot more complicated then us men.

Many of us gave you the same advice, help more, show more affection, don’t badger for sex and it seems to be working. Notice none of us that gave that advice said she was cheating or that we have women completely figured out. Misogyny will get a guy no where fast with women. At least that’s something I’ve learned in life. And truth be told I actually have been with many.

Anyway keep up the good work your on the right road. BUT figure out that kid in your bed!

Saul your a fucking saint brother!

My wife was once on a pill where she would only have a period every 3 months. She did a 180 personality wise and it was the closest I came to ending the relationship. We weren’t married at that time. But she was distant and hated to be touched. She was back to normal when she changed pills.

I am not married, but in a long-term relationship.I`ll give my 2 cents. Despite the usual women depressions etc, women get BORED! She is bored. All the flowers, hugs, kisses in the world, won`t change anything. Challenge your women in some way, take her to some adventure. And think about something different, something surprising, even something little dangerous.Don`t ask for permission, don`t be needy, they don`t like this on subconscious level, even though they won`t tell you. If she says ”I don`t want”, tell her ”shut up, you`ll do whatever I say now”.Make sure, you make her feel some emotion, but different than the typical romantic emotions. Women need to feel, but in this case, all the romance in the world won`t help. We all now what are men fantasies, right? Super hot chick, with amazing ass and tits, satisfying all our sexual desires. Do you know what are the women fantasizes? The brave, strong, determined hero, who is not afraid to be in charge, to take actions, to get into a fight for her, the guy who is in charge of his life. The guy who is not afraid to make something dangerous, if its needed. Someone who is very dominant and who she can submit. Look at yourself, the reason can be in you. Are you in charge of your life? Are you man enough? Do you feel the need of her approval all the time? Be honest with yourself, and don`t listen to her words, there is no logic in them.. Look beyond them!

Glad that everything is back to normal man keep it up.