Nothing Like validation to Motivate More Growth

So me and my wife of 32 years have been separated for 6 months. I started the newbie program 5 months ago and responded very well. Anyway the wife came and picked me up from the surgery center Friday after a little knee surgery. I was pretty out of it from the Anesthesia and Hydrocodone , but talked her into a blow job. She was all emotional and wouldn’t let me touch her clit. It had been 6 months and I really just wanted to see if she would notice the new growth. She unfortunately didn’t say anything, so I was a little let down, but today she came over with lunch and I talked her into a good session of sex. It was priceless I licked her first to make sure she was good and wet before I entered her. Her expression was priceless she is like O My God you are huge easy it’s so big. It felt so good to hear. I am by no means huge, but I am about 13/8” bigger sense she left the marriage. Anyway I let her know we can go through with the divorce enjoying a strictly sexual relationship. She thought it sounded weird but after the good session we just had she wants more. I guess it is weird but I loved the reaction she had and can’t wait to fill her up again!

I don’t know how I missed that story…. it was great Dude !!!

Very crazy way to end a marriage, we really enjoy our moments together now. Last weekend she drove 3 hours down to see me and get screwed a couple times.

In the last few years of marriage #1 ending, we actually had a pretty good sex life. Even down to the remaining last 8 months or so. Strange.

Our marriage was always sexual, other then whenever she gave birth we never went over a week without sex. When we started having sex again it was like she shrunk to the tight girl I met 36 years ago. I know it was my added size though. I really couldn’t get enough she could only handle it 3 or 4 times a week, but I would try to encourage her to come by everyday to at least get a blowjob. She has been taking anxiety and antidepressants meds for years. Typically it takes over thirty minutes of clitoral simulation for her to orgasm, and she never quits until she does. If I am having sex more then three times a week it takes me even longer to come, so now she has stretched to accommodate my current size without much discomfort.

A little while back I pumped for about 15 minutes before entering her and was probably about 6”MEG I only had a little more then the gland in and just tried to focus on her G spot while I squeezed the base hard and kegled more blood into the gland. This was while she was rubbing her clit, she asked me after about 10 minutes if I was all the way in. When I told her it was only the head she had a look of bewilderment. That taught me more about the importance of girth then anything else.

I don’t want the divorce, but I have not placed any pressure on her to return to the marriage. I retired right after she said she wanted a divorce. We closed on the sale of our home in November and I am starting a year long trip around the United States with my German Shepard living in RV. I don’t expect to see her much anymore, but wish her the best, and I have no regrets in marring her. I hope she can get her head sorted out and realize we are better together, but I am not counting on it. Life goes on and I am enjoying everyday of it.

Good man!

Just a man who has learned many lessons the hard way. I am very glad I found this forum, and believe it was instrumental in giving me a healthy focus at a difficult time of life.

It did the same for me as well. I learned over time my ex said things to hurt me and there wasn’t any validity in what she said.

I’m glad you found this place to be one of encouragement!

My wife is very confused women, she had a emotional affair the last year of our marriage and shifted the blame to who I was 25 years ago. She said she couldn’t get over how I hurt her back then with porn and making her feel like she could never be enough for me. I have been porn free for 25 years and understand she was following a very human behavior when she couldn’t face her quilt for the affair.

This an all too familiar narrative. I wasn’t a bad person but put other things in front of my then wife. After her fourth that I know of affair I called it quits.

She said my penis was small and enjoyed having more. Now I know that’s a lie. After counseling and the help of the community here, I’m a new person!

It sounds like you’re on a good path of health now.

Yes I was very insecure about the size of my penis before coming here. Porn was a very unhealthy part of my life for many years, but my wife never gave me any reason to believe I was not enough. I used to believe she didn’t want to have daily sex was because my size didn’t make her crazy with desire. I feel very comfortable now talking to her about my previous insecurity’s.
I now know listening to your partner during sex is instrumental in a healthy sexual relationship. I used to go into my own world during sex and she repeated her likes and dislikes many times before she quit telling me anything during sex. When we started having sex again 6 months ago I was very interested in hearing what felt good to her. It still took her awhile to become vocal again. Now I believe communication is number one for me to really enjoy sex. I know sex has become better then ever between us, her comments about my size during sex I believe are sincere and I don’t need to grow anymore to be what she wants. This doesn’t keep me from working for another 1/2”. I have learned enough here to lead me to believe I will likely see it in 2020.

I’m very happy for you!

Ask for what you want during sex is key. So is a sking her how it feels. I did an exercise at a workshop where you asked the woman how it felt on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being very good. If she said 4 or 5 you kept going. If she said three or below you asked how can I make it better. Faster, slower, softer, harder etc. When she responded you said thank you and adjusted. She did the same for me. When I asked her to go faster she did and said thank you.

SB

I now can see things I couldn’t before. I have always been slow to come, and my wife used to usually orgasm 3 times before I could. Now with her meds we are much closer in time to reach orgasm. Now I would say almost half the time we come together, but when I am unable to finish with her she shuts down expressing what is uncomfortable. She wants me to just finish and is afraid of saying anything that may prolong it any longer. I know once she loose pleasure it is a big turn off for me also. I now can quit at this point, but I used to be so frustrated I would grind on her to finish, or just have her suck me off. I think my willingness to not continue when sex isn’t pleasurable for her makes her much more willing to come back for more. I have found now when we are having sex regularly, I need to edge for a half hour and it’s much easier to orgasm latter on.

Healthy relationships take alot of communication and that has to start long before going the bedroom. I now like to have a couple hours before going into the bedroom to let her unwind because it usually results in much better sex…