Martin
I think everybody having read this thread has understood that your condition is a serious case.
On the medical side, it seems to be too complex to be easily diagnosed over the web, even with some people here who had similar (but not exactly) the same difficulties. I hope too it’s not Peyronies, but only a ultrasound image is able to confirm this. As I said, do everything possible to get that appointment.
The other side is your psychological state. You are not only terrified, you are going through the worst time a man as a man can have. I say this just to make sure that you know I try to understand your situation as far as I am able to. I don’t say I feel with you, because this would be wrong. Only you know how terrible your own state is. So I don’t want to fake empathy where empathy is not possible because I have not gone through what you are going through.
But, and thus is quite a big but, I am son of two MD’s. I have made during more than 15 years a lot of patient visits with them, I have experienced three times war situations, have lived 4 years in a hospital compound in Africa and I have seen cases and situations just as any doctor sees in his career and sometimes even a bit more, mostly in war or in Africa. I think I am able to help people when they are in need. And since 23 years, I live with a women having a severe chronic disease. I’m not medically trained, I’m just experienced in lending my ears to those in need and give advice. Just as human being, nothing more.
And out of this experiences, I may have a no-nonsense view on what you wrote. Your entire life is in turmoil. Your being as man is in danger. So I tell you: start doing something! Sort this mess out. Set priorities. Do what YOU can do and get help where you can’t do it. Fight to get a meaning back for your life. And don’t let a sickness dictate you how you should feel.
YOU are in command of your life. Get back a job whatever you do, even if it’s beyond payline or education, just work something. Because sitting at home gives you too much time to make dark thoughts. And get psychological help, admit that you are in a crisis which is above what you can carry as burden. That is as important as your medical status. You are desperately crying for help - panicked and clutching at every straw you see. The obvious is: get psychological help. What you get here is a band-aid, but what you need is a solid cast for your soul.
One last thing: when you have appointments at the urology AND at psychological counseling, please talk about PE. Describe exactly what you have done. Please, please be one if the patients that do NOT hold back information! Out of shame, out of guilt, out of whatever. The MD’s and counselors have already enough to chew on, so don’t make life harder for them. Tell them everything, regardless of what you think they may think. They are paid for helping, so help them to help you as good as possible.
I know this is a stern lecture, but it is meant seriously. I would give the exactly same lecture to our son or to-be son in law in similar situations. Because I love them.
And to you I do it because I respect you and want to give my best advice. Maybe you read over this telling yourself “why on earth should I listen to a middle-aged guy on the web whom I even don’t know?” Or you start thinking about yourself from a new point and start getting back the control of your life.
It’s your decision.
Richard65
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