Baring my soul here

I experimented again on my own and found my personal Cialis window to be 5 to 12 hours. I took it in the morning and experimented during that day. Additionally I observed amazing erections during the night and a full boner when I woke up the next morning 24 hrs after taking Cialis. Nothing worth mentioning for me personally the first 3 hrs despite what the literature says. I also noticed that the Cialis erections didn’t seem to be “locked in” like the 100 mg Viagra erections were. I’m still kinda liking the Cialis because of the long window for erections.

I’ve only taken Cialis 20mg once (the last two days) and never Viagra, but I was surprised (more so shocked) at the ease I attained erections that would’ve taken a little more work to achieve and the lasting power of them was really a first for me. I took it at 4pm two days ago and by 6pm it was announcing itself to me. Boners all night. Yesterday I doubted its “36 hour” validity but my morning wood when I woke up stayed up really long even though I had to pee so damn bad (which makes me lose wood in seconds normally). then I experimented mid morning to see what’s up, and it was a boner that I didn’t touch at all after achieving and it lasted for a few minutes on its own, hidden in my PJ shorts. I actually did some prostate play and while I normally get hard and soft during prostate sessions I didn’t get hard during this one until I started to get close to finishing and when I was hard, it didn’t matter what the Aneros was doing in me, my boner was completely rock hard and lasting (sometimes toys in your ass make erection stronger or make them go away, depends on mood and toy). I came hard. But 24 hours after taking the 20mg, 4pm yesterday, I was STILL able to get hard ons for no reason, they didn’t last forever, but the hardness and strength of them told me “the medicine is still working as good as yesterday.” In the shower around 8pm I got hard again and this boner lasted for several minutes untouched while I washed my body and finished my shower with no attention paid to my erection at all. I got hard as my wife and I made out 2 hours later, and I got hard again when we committed to sex and it was solid as fuck the whole time, it was a longer sex session for us and I can attest that Cialis (even the generic Vidalista version I have) lasts 36 hours FOR SURE and for me EQ was as good 6 hours after taking it as it was 30 hours later. I think I was hard in bed for almost 2 hours this morning like ~4:30ish-6:40 when I finally looked at the time and made myself sit up and put my PJs on and I did kegels to tire my morning wood out.

Bottom line: Cialis that is for 36 hour use really is for 36 hour use. I have read the more you take it the more kind of stores/stacks up so it gets better through repeated use.

I hope you continue to find aid to your needs! I hope my anecdotes help in any way.

Pumpedmember, how old are you? I’m guessing you’re younger than me. I agree about the lasting power of Cialis. It lasted at least 24 hours for me. But I didn’t get any effect until after 3 hours, and no real bones until around 5 hours. I’m going to take it several more times to see if it starts working better for me. I’m not complaining, it’s an amazing drug.

Update: I had my 8th and final session with the surrogate last Thursday. It went well. I have learned all the basic skills to be able to make love to a woman. I continue to have an anxiety based issue which is causing me to have to take Cialis to get a reliable erection (anxiety induced unreliable erections) and also an anxiety based issue causing me to have extreme difficulty ejaculating in the presence of a woman. We made significant progress in the last two sessions but now it’s time to move on to the next phase in my journey. I’m going to seek out a non-romantic partner to have weekly sex with until I can achieve reliable erections (without Cialis) and reliable ejaculations. Then I will move on to the final phase of finding a long term romantic partner and, hopefully, marriage. I’m looking on a Sugar Daddy site and am messaging a few prospects. I need to find a SB in the next few weeks or I may fall back into anxiety and self-doubt.

I am so pleased with the results from teaming up with the sex surrogate. It’s changed my life. I recommend it for anyone facing a sexual issue that can’t be defeated without help.

I’m also pleased with Cialis. Now that I know it takes (for me personally) 6 hours before I can get reliable full-hard erections I can have penetrative sex without issues. During my last session I was able to get a boner without direct stimulation (although I was pressed against her kissing). I’m experiencing erections as long as 24 hours after taking Cialis; also rock hard night erections and morning wood the night after taking it. The only side effects for me have been mild headaches and face flushing.

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement. I appreciate it so much. This is a great bunch of people on this forum! A family.

Excellent news!!! Hope you find someone fun to have sex with for your next phase!

WQ,

Confidence is more important than technique. Keep working on it brother. I look forward to another success thread in the future.

Update: I’ve found a non-romantic sex partner (a sugar baby) and had my first visit on Monday. She lives three hours away from me and I had to get a hotel room (she wouldn’t host me because she didn’t know me. I totally understand that). She’s 35, has a full time job, doing the SB thing to live above her means. She’s attractive and has a pretty nice body. I was pleased with her appearance and demeanor. I’m grateful to have found her because my experience with sugar daddy sites has been terrible. I’m sure I’ve blocked over 500 women. The scams outnumber authentic SBs 10 to 1 at least.

The experience. This is only the second woman I’ve been with. I copied the moves I was taught during the surrogate sessions. We both undressed and got into bed. I asked her to lie on her back and asked if I could caress her body. She said I could do anything I wanted to. I caressed her for a minute and then spent some time on her breasts. She had nipple piercings (and another through her clit hood). I spent a lot of time teasing her nipples which turned her on a lot. I then grabbed some lube I had brought with me and applied it to her clit. I started stimulating her clit etc and she really started getting turned on. I had learned to press down on the pubic mound area to give the woman something to press against. She started pressing up against me and moving around. The surrogate would orgasm easily in maybe 3 minutes when I did this but she could only have one orgasm (50 something. used to be multi-orgasmic). This woman took about 15 minutes and I was not in a good position and was worn out when it finally happened. She immediately grabbed my hands and said she could have another one right now. So, I started again. It was happening quicker this time but she suddenly said she needed some penetration. I thought she wanted me to have sexual intercourse but I didn’t have a condom on, but she grabbed my hand and stuck my thumb inside her. It was awkward with the thumb but I got it into a position where I could rub against her g spot. That did it for her. After that orgasm she grabbed my dick and started stroking it. I raised upright on my knees and she leaned forward and started giving me oral sex. I think I was enjoying the physical break as much as the sensations. I definitely didn’t set myself up for success with my positioning for the manual clit stimulation. After about 5 minutes I told her I was going to put on a condom. When I accomplished that I asked for frontal entry on the side of the bed. The Cialis had worked its magic and I had fun running through different thrusting techniques. She was close to orgasm again and asked if she could be on top of me. I said sure and we switched to cowgirl. She started grinding me HARD. I hadn’t experienced anything like that and I was concerned that something bad might happen like bending my dick. I partially lost my erection and it slipped out. She told me to leave it out and she kept grinding for about 15 more seconds and had another orgasm. She rolled off me and we lay side by side for about 5 minutes talking. Then it was all about me. I had confided in her that I was having trouble ejaculating and that it would take a lot of time and stimulation to get me there. She started giving me oral and handjobs in different ways and positions. This went on for almost an hour. It was absolutely wonderful. It was easy and not physically demanding for either of us. Whenever she was giving a handjob we talked. I really really liked it! I couldn’t believe this woman was doing all this to me for so long and I wasn’t coming. I kinda felt like a porn star! I finally told her that I would need to close my eyes and masturbate. She said she loved to watch a man stroke his dick. She started masturbating and had another orgasm. About 5 minutes later I FINALLY had an orgasm. It was a good one! I hadn’t ejaculated since my last surrogate session 10 days earlier. She got up and went into the bathroom. I looked in at her while I was wiping the cum off and noticed she was standing with one foot in the sink, stark naked. I asked if everything was ok. She said she had cum on both her feet and that I came like a teenager and it was like watching fireworks. We both laughed at that. What do I think about her? I like her a lot but she’s a little intense in bed. I hung with her but I was feeling my age. Maybe I just need to get better at doing sexual moves more efficiently so I don’t cramp or run out of energy. I like that she is up for anything. I don’t think I have to worry about crossing any lines. What’s amazing is she’s a real sugar baby. She has a full time job. I’m a programmer and her job involves programming and robotics. You can’t bluff your way through that kind of conversation. She also gives just as good as she gets. So, I consider myself blessed to have found her and hopefully I can work my way through the delayed ejaculation issue with her. Then I will be ready to search for a romantic partner and hopefully a long term relationship and maybe even marriage.

Wow this is a hot and great story! Thanks for sharing all of this!
Sounds like you both have some commonalities via work and profession. That goes a long long way.
Do you have a Fleshlight for masturbation? You could fuck it and practice your thrusting techniques. I’ve rolled up a big blanket and a towel into a squareish lozenge-shape and then wrap it with a towel and then wrap it all around the middle with a long bungee cord. The fleshlight gets pushed under the bungee cord and it stays locked in place very good. The dock is heavy enough to not move while I nail the toy, but it rocks a little ever so slightly so it mimics some natural movements. This thing keeps me going when my wife and I don’t have sex and I keep strong and conditioned fucking this fleshlight dock I made. Any kind of practice helps!
And congrats on a huge cumshot! Sounds like she liked it, that bodes well for your next hook up with her ;)

You have a good plan and are working it to the T and it sounds like you have what it takes to be successful in achieving your goals!

Thanks PM. I may try the Fleshlight. It would be nice to be able to practice thrusting without being in the spotlight with a woman. The surrogate helped a lot because the sessions would take on a clinical feel and it wasn’t too stressful (as far as performance anxiety goes). But now I’m with a “real” woman so feeling a little more pressure, although I must admit this SB was able to get me pretty relaxed (mentally).

Additional thoughts: Having sex with women is a new experience for me. For years I viewed porn on a regular basis and was convinced I had the smallest penis on the planet. I joined Thunder’s in the hope I could make my penis big enough to please a woman. I can’t begin to tell you what a joy it’s been to have watched both of the women I’ve been intimate with have orgasms on my watch. I know that neither one of them were faking it. They truly enjoyed having me as their lover. I fulfilled their needs with just an average sized dick. What a relief! I’ve discovered that I really like being with a woman. I like to caress their body and give them manual stimulation. I get an endorphin high when I’m doing this. And they respond in-kind (at least the two I’ve been with), providing me the pleasure I’m seeking as a man. I’m continuing on my PE journey but the pressure is off. Pleasing women sexually is not the daunting task I thought it would be, thank God! I still want to wean myself off Cialis and also to be able to ejaculate in a reasonable amount of time but even if I’m unsuccessful on both counts I know I will still be able to please a woman, and as long as my heartfelt goal is to please my lover I know everything is going to work out just fine…

WQ,

The slow cum will fix itself as your comfort level increases. Relax, it’s not an issue that you need to think about.

Thanks 5.5Squared,

I thought I would have an issue with premature ejaculation because of my lack of experience. Didn’t turn out that way. The upside for now is I get to enjoy a longer sexual experience. With Cialis and the delayed ejaculation it can be 1 1/2 hours of sex before I ejaculate.

I’ve also discovered I need to close my eyes when I get close to ejaculation and keep them closed until I’m spurting, or the ejaculation won’t happen. I guess maybe seeing a woman looking at my penis causes performance anxiety at a subconscious level. I agree that my comfort level will increase as I spend more time having sex with women, which will probably allow me to ejaculate normally at some point.

WQ,
Thanks for sharing your journey. I just read the entire 5 pages and am thrilled for you! I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t met my wife 27 years ago because anxiety had me convinced it was too complicated or difficult. We didn’t even have sex for over 3 months but getting that relationship started was my anxious moment. I don’t remember being anxious about sex once we were dating and that’s probably a good thing because I definitely didn’t last as long as I hoped.

Looking forward to your updates.

[QUOTE=MDC]
WQ,
Thanks for sharing your journey. I just read the entire 5 pages and am thrilled for you! I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t met my wife 27 years ago because anxiety had me convinced it was too complicated or difficult. We didn’t even have sex for over 3 months but getting that relationship started was my anxious moment. I don’t remember being anxious about sex once we were dating and that’s probably a good thing because I definitely didn’t last as long as I hoped.

Looking forward to your updates.
[/QUOTE

Thanks MDC,
I’m happy to hear about your long and successful marriage. And thanks for the kind words.

So good to hear of your recent experiences!

I’m very happy for you.

The closed eyes thing for ejaculating is just a symptom of not yet being comfortable enough to fully relax and surrender to the experience. That’s totally OK!
A) it WILL get better as you become more comfortable being intimate with her and women in general
B) Deayed ejaculation is not the end of the world and in fact is a heck of a lot better than the alternative ;)
Orgasm shouldn’t be the end all and be all of a sexual experience shared with another human being. Having fun and making each other should be :) . And you had that in spades! You KNOW she enjoyed herself. You KNOW you ejoyed yourself.

That’s a win, man!

The more physically fit you are, the more varied and prolonged the possible sexual “sessions”, but specifically for performing oral and manual stimulation on a woman, you just need practice in order to find comfortable positions that won’t wipe you out quickly. Only practice can help with that, but communication, open and honest, can also help.

If you’re about to cramp up, speak up, change positions, change hands, change orientation. Otherwise it can take you away from the experience, and that inevitably ends up taking the other person away from it also.