Originally Posted by Walter5169
It sounds like you are under extreme stress and your husband had other major health issues ( first post) , it may be wise to find a good endo but also not to write possible medical reasons off. Make sure to share all the info with a specialist and don’t just push for trt because you decided it was what was needed. From the way you speak it sounds like you have found the treatment your hubby must receive , and that’s from using google, so I can understand the doc’s point of view. It’s good to get informed about various people experience with the suggested treatments but at the end of the day you are not a doc.
So finding someone you can trust (specialist or md) should be a smart move. Maybe relatives can help you find one?
I’m not writing off possible medical reasons by a long shot. The doctor agreed his testosterone needed to come up, but his version of how to do it was to use a medication off label to raise his LH and FSH which are already in normal ranges out of normal ranges in the hopes that if he got them high enough his body would get the message and start producing testosterone. He suggested that or TRT and TRT sounds safer considering we have 3 small children already and I’d rather him go with the long standing treatment that won’t screw up his liver in the hopes of preserving his ability to father more children. When it came to the TRT the doc wanted to do androgel, which carries a black box FDA warning about potential transfer risks to children because it can cause bone damage. Androgel is also much more expensive and highly marketed, with poorer absorption rates and less efficacy than the injections, which is why I don’t trust the doctors extremely hard push for it over an injection that can’t transfer to the kids, is more effective, and has a longer history of use which means the side effects of it are much more well documented. Considering any medication carries risks, being informed of those risks is paramount when the doctor will not tell you what they are, and he said point blank there was no reason to worry about androgel and the children. Considering we already know there is a pituitary issue and inflammation that caused his body to stop producing ADH, I’m much more interested in finding a doctor who is willing to look at why a 31 year old potent male who 4 years ago averaged sex 3-5 times per day at least 3-4 days every week is now rarely interested in sex at all and has extremely low testosterone levels despite having normal FSH and LH levels which should be causing his body to produce a normal amount of testosterone instead of just trying to raise the FSH and LH abnormally high to achieve that. Any time you introduce any outside chemicals or stimulus to the body it has the potential to cause the body to slow or stop production of those things. If they are going to do something to raise his testosterone and help him feel better, it’s logically safer to go with the option that has a longer history and if it suppresses production anywhere it does so in the testicles vs the brain. He can shoot blanks for the rest of his life without a lower quality of life, men with vasectomies prove that daily, but the long term effects of a medication meant to treat infertility in women in doses only 5 days in length is a much riskier option to his health overall than testosterone injections to help with symptoms while we find a doctor who is interested and willing to look at the cause behind why it isn’t working right.
As men, you can all appreciate the difficulty of going in to a doctor and having to say “no my sex drive has severely decreased, as has erection quality and my ability to ejaculate during intercourse” and the mental anguish admitting that can cause to a mans self esteem. Top that off with combat vet, fireman, EMT, foundry worker, served in 2 war zones and finished his tour in another country preparing and sending fallen soldiers home, and as an EMT has been the first on scene to wrecks where people he knows have been cut in half and are pinned between vehicles in an accident… He has handled all that without PTSD or depression or any mental issues he couldn’t cope with without help, and now he’s having mood swings and depression because he’s tired and working and has bills to pay and it’s overwhelming him? The idea of taking the kids to the zoo for the first time was met with “I’m too tired and I’m going to miss things anyway, just go without me.” Having to admit that he is having trouble coping with normal stress after all he’s been through and seen in his life is honestly more than his pride will allow. He thought for the longest time he could just snap himself out of it, despite the test results showing something is wrong and causing the issue, so when he finally admitted he needs help, a doctor saying things to him like “is that your decision or your wife’s” was outright a low blow and I would consider it medically unethical, especially when it was over a disagreement between two methods of treatment (androgel vs injections) for the same issue and his reasons for wanting to avoid the higher cost, less effective, potentially dangerous to his children option was a valid concern.