I'm an attractive 20 year old guy thats impotent and suffers from PE

last night I was laying in bed just thinking about sex, and I got rock hard.

this is so damn confusing, i know there is something seriously wrong physchologically with me.

I have dated a steady girl for a while and still had problems. I was able to have sex, and we had a lot of it; but it still wasn’t enjoyable because I was still worried about my performance.

I used to always be able to get hard(not 100% but enough to have sex) with no matter who it was. But I would blow after a couple seconds or so and then sometimes be able to go again, and sometimes not.

A healthy relationship is simply the Best environment to work on problems like this. You still need to do the work of course. The problem with worry is the mental monologue often goes like this:

What if I can’t get hard?

What if I go too soon?

What if I can’t get back up?

Repeat add nauseam

The “What if” of course is assuming it will be a disaster if these things happen

Turn it into a duologue by actually answering the worries. Come up with a plan.

“Then I will do ___ and it will be OK.”

Then have a worry back up plan. Don’t worry twice about the same thing when the tape recorder in your head starts over recognise it and think. “I have already worried about this and have a plan it will be OK. More worry will only make it worse so I will think about ___ instead.”

Before you call the plumber you might want to check this book out

It’s called “The multi-orgasmic man” it has sexual secrets on how to defeat

erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation and more.

It`s clear that your mind plays tricks with you. There is nothing wrong with your penis.

I’m thinking that it is probably best that I get a few pills of viagra to boost my confidence next time I have sex. I have never really had an “awesome” sexual experience, so If I have a good one maybe it will relieve a lot of the stress. I could start off with a pill the first couple times….then a 1/2 pill….and slowly work my way off it.

What is viagra like? I’m just assuming you take it and 15min later you have a rock hard member. Anyone have any details on what can be expected?

Do I have to go to the urologist to get a perscription? I’m thinking of going anyway and just telling him all of my problems and see what he has to say.

You should go to a urologist as I and others have suggested. Maybe save up a few bucks so you can choose one outside your parents’ health insurance plan, thus leaving them out of the equation of how your cock operates or doesn’t. That uro. will very likely give you a sample pack of V and probably an Rx for you to use as you need it for awhile after you two have had your talk.

Only about 5 percent of V users get spontaneous erections some time after taking it. Most, though, require some stimulation to get one going because that is the way the medication was designed, on the molecular level, to perform. Most of us don’t want to worry about popping a boner in some inappropriate place like when talking to Mom in her kitchen while she is making a pot roast.

50 mg is the usual starting dose. If you get it, you should try it alone, solo, first to understand how it is going to work on you.

Btw, you do not “wean” yourself off Viagra as with some other meds. You can just stop taking it anytime you like.

Seriously see a fucking doctor. I am sure you won’t be as bad as me, but I am only 18 and have a venous leak, it seems I was probabaly born with it. At the moment to have decent hard ons I use viagra and a cock ring. But still, just get checked out. The majority of the time it will be stress and shit, but fuck the doctors who tell you that. Actually get tested so you KNOW. So many fucking doctors told me the same thing when I knew it was physical, and what do you know as soon as I get tested yes it is physical. I keep repeating myself to reassure you that you probabaly wont be physical but make your urologist or doctor run some tests TO BE SURE. Your manhood isnt something to take little girly steps around, confront it directly.

I’m curious yataghan, how did the doctors confirm the diagnosis oof venous leak? Is there a test for that?

Pud: Good call on the link.

zaneblue: Awesome prescription, as always.

themighty5: I started the "Porn and the death of my penis" thread because I suffered from your same pains. Porn was ruling my life and it killed my penis. Zaneblue’s prescription hit the nail on the head - you don’t want to give up masturbating completely, cause it’ll make your libido go down (at least that’s what I noticed). You do need to reduce the number of times per week - 2 to 3 times is a good number.

Also, quit the porn. Erase everything you have on your computer and don’t save ANY of it on dvds or cds. I haven’t been able to give up on porn completely myself, but I have come to realize that for me, porn has been an eight year addiction and cannot be cured overnight. I am taking steps in the right direction and do plan on giving it up completely. Some people will advocate that giving it up porn entirely is not what you need to do, but if you have an addictive personality, such as myself, then you’ll be caught up in the same backward spiral which will lead you to depression. If you’re able to allow yourself to look at porn only once a week and NOT ejaculate to it, then I think that’s fantastic. But, you MUST NOT masturbate and ejaculate to porn - get away from that habit.

I have not purchased a Fleshlight as of yet, but plan on ordering it soon and hope to start using it in the new year. I’m usually good at keeping New Year’s resolutions and I look forward to this one. As much as it hurts me to give up porn (trust me, I love it more than anything), I have come to realize that the health of my penis and feel of a real pussy are much better goals to strive for. I realized that porn was a road-block and I needed to avoid it at all costs. This reminds me of someone’s signature (I forget who, but I think they’re a mod): No point in having a big dick and doing PE if you’re not going to use it!

I encourage you to take zaneblue’s advice and not just skim, but read the above thread in its ENTIRETY. There are a lot of good posts and it certainly changed my life.

Good luck.

PS - I wouldn’t opt for viagra. You’re too freakin’ young for that crap. Use it as a last resort. People are so anxious in finding that quick fix. Try natural solutions first for 6 MONTHS, not just a couple of weeks. Dedicate yourself to zaneblue’s prescription.

The last thing you want to do is develop a necessity for something you don’t necessarily need.

I think the average guy can watch porn, beat off a lot, and still have no arousal problems with women.

There are stories of extreme porn addiction etc, but I think most guys watch it without negative effects.

I think Viagra in the short term occasional use, will do no harm and can help with esteem and intimacy issues while the root cause is being sorted out. Not as a quick fix.

There are two varieties of yohimbe (aka, yohimbine); one the health store variety which is unrefined and comes in many unregulated strengths and the other a prescription variety which is refined and very specific as to dosage strength. The prescription variety, under a doctor’s monitoring, is far safer.

The usual negative side effects of yohimbe are an elevation of blood pressure sometimes to dangerous levels, anxiety, restlessness and insomnia.

Viagra actually reduces b/p; originally it was designed to be an anti-hypertensive but it turned out to be a much better erectile drug in field trials than an anti-hypertensive and so the manufacturer shifted its marketing gears. Numerous studies over the years have shown that V. is not “hard on the heart”, in itself, rather that certain drugs like nitroglycerine and that family including “poppers” can cause a potentially deadly interaction. There are as well some heart conditions which contraindicate its use.

If a young guy - we have at least two talking here who are between 18 and 20 - has a diagnosed erectile issue he will spin his wheels dicking around with supplements while his condition may grow potentially worse _and_ he misses out on a lot of potentially good sex while he experiments. Sometimes it takes a doctor who is very well-schooled specifically in erectile function to make an accurate diagnosis. Unfortunately, medical schools - at least in the US - are just getting around to the understanding that men do like to have good sexual function and so they are training students to better deal with it as sex becomes a much more open topic.

I guess it’s just my anti-doctor bias showing. It’s different for men than for women, men have urologists. There a very few urologists specializing in women, and they are openly mocked in the field. Gynecologists are generally totally ignorant about sexual function and advances in sexual medicine. Women with sexual problems are generally shunted off to sex therapists who tend to not know the first thing about women’s sexual physiology and instead use psychology and antidepressants (!) to “cure” a woman’s sexual problems. Now for the women whose sexual problems are psychological, that’s a good fit, but I strongly believe the majority of women who have sexual problems have at least some underlying physiological issues that could be improved to help the situation.

Thank you quik4life. Support means a lot to me, I appreciate it.

mrav, there is a test. I am taking it soon, it is called a duplex doppler or something. Technically I have not had any tests for my condition yet, but me and my urologist both agree I have some kind of leakage, and I am positive it is from this one vein that is hard and ‘juts’ out from my penis.

How? Because when I wear a cock ring it suppresses the vein enough to stop it leaking out blood (The girth of my head goes from about 4” to 5.5” and is hard rather then really soft n spongy). However, it does not completely stop it, but with the viagra to get even more blood going in there to counter act the leak with a cock ring I am able to maintain an erection, and kegel to keep it there without stimulation..instead of losing my erection when I kegeled, and having to spent 30 seconds getting it back after this.

It kind of sucks having this prob but I’m getting through it. When I say lose erection it doesn’t just go flaccid..it stays the same size pretty much, maybe a bit smaller but it loses its angle and I go ‘out of the zone’ and it takes a bit to get him to stand to attention completely again.