Lap dancer has given me some sort of awakening. Whats going on?

Why don’t you pick her up after work. She is likely very interested you, just a thought

Good point. I’ll check next time.

Sir, thanks for revealing this very personal part of your life. I cried when you talked about being alone and doing things alone and how much fun you had with your wife. I almost lost my wife twice to cancer in 2014 and 9 months later in 2015. She is doing great and 100% clean now, but its one of the most aggressive forms of cancer out there so we’re vigilant and live life to the fullest we can. Your words brought me back instantly to the thought of “if this is it, I think I’m over and done” with everything love/sex related. How could I love again? Could I even get a date? Would I ever be able to go through the motions of having sex again? Such frightening and scary thoughts; I was late 30s at the time. I am overjoyed that you have overcome such a long period of time and are feeling like a, well to put it bluntly, man again. I was nervous as hell reading about that hot blonde cornering you in your office. I can’t imagine if that was me how the energy and blood would be surging throughout me like wild, I guess for your sake maybe leaving immediately was the way to go. I wish she had come back!

So you were celibate but did you masturbate? If you said you never even got wet dreams after a few years, then you were purely orgasm-free? I never thought about not cumming ever again when I faced losing my wife. But now that I think about it, my masturbation (which my wife loves and encourages like a fiend) does have a “her” element to it, even if I watch porn or fantasize. My wife is the only sexual outlet or sexual relationship I’ve ever had that has gone as far as we’ve gone together, and for as long as we’ve been together (20 years in a few months). My orgasm is so much a part of her even when she’s not around or even out of town for a week.

Thanks for sharing once again. I feel so relieved to know that you are getting your game back and feel like your old (or at least as close to your old) self again!

I’m wondering what reaction I will get from the other dancers when I go back. I’m sure they will talk.

Or maybe my Witch wants me for her own cauldron?

No, did not masturbate during those fifteen years. So yes, was orgasm-free after even wet dreams ceased. Became very successful at blocking out thoughts of women and sex. And looking back, it was truly an unhealthy existence. Found out that “use it or lose it” is an apt expression when it comes to penis health. Have Thunder’sPlace to thank for being able to gain back much of the size lost over those fifteen years. And it was a struggle. At first, ejaculations felt painful. Perhaps this was only psychological, but it took months before it felt pleasurable again. I feel fortunate today, and have this advice to all my brothers — DON’T DO AS I DID.

magicwand9,

What are your thoughts on semen retention benefits after 15 years of celibacy? Did you notice any extra physical or mental vigor, stamina, focus, charisma etc?

Not to derail the thread, but I had to ask because you the only person I’ve known to have done such a long period. I knew one friend who was celibate and retained for 3 years after the death of his wife, and who was an active yogi, and had all kinds of energy movement going on related to it.

I’ve gone for 1 month many times, and I think there’s some biological basis to that in our evolutionary past - it’s very likely that our ancestors at some point only mated once a month during females’ ovulation peak in the estrous cycle. Some say there are energy benefits going up to a full year, and there might be something to that too, lots of animals mate only once per year for example. Then there are various religious traditions advocating celibacy for several years or indefinitely for spiritual benefits - which I’ve generally interpreted as an unhealthy obsession over the benefits that can be had over shorter periods.

Good questions. Sorry that it’s taking so long to answer. Was out of town several times in the past ten days. Giving this some extra thought, and will get back soon.

She was busy with other clients yesterday, however she gave me her number.

I apologize for taking this long to respond. Especially since you are so prompt in giving helpful advice to those requesting it. No excuse, but things have been hectic these past several weeks, and I’ve had little time to be online. But have given much thought to those fifteen years of celibacy and semen retention.

Guess the short answer is that I view those fifteen years of semen retention as a negative. Perhaps I could argue that having no sexual contact with women or even sexual thoughts of women gave me more mental focus. Five years into my celibacy, was hired to improve the profitability of a manufacturing plant that employed over 700 workers. The plant was 60 years old, had an inefficient layout, and needed $30 million of government mandated improvements within a three year window in order to stay in operation. Since that old plant was only making a profit of $6 to 8 million per year, the consensus was that it likely would have to be shuttered. However, working seven days a week and 10 to 12 hours per day, within just 18 months brought that old plant’s profitability up to $23 million per year. Saved the plant, and those 700 jobs (and earned them higher wages and nice bonuses). Consider that achievement as the capstone of my career. Not having women in my life eliminated those types of distractions, and likely gave me more mental focus.

However, my overall health may have suffered. In my mind, there is a strong tie between sexual vigor and physical vigor. Thoughts of sex had always gone hand and hand with my weightlifting. Seemed that as thoughts of women and sex were purged from my mind, it became much harder to lift those weights and exercise at the same level. I lost muscle size and strength over those fifteen years along with penis size. But then, I aged going from late forties to my early sixties.

When my sexual interest returned, so did my desire to push heavier weights. Just recently, a life insurance company told me that I tested out as much younger than any 67 year old that they had ever insured. And better yet, I’m damn happy to be having sex again.

Thanks for your thoughts magicwand9. Sounds like any benefits were few and far between.

And way to go Shaunbaby!

I think Magicwand9 had too many other negative things going on to get any benefit from semen retention. That being said he is not going to be representative of possible benefits. That is just my read on the situation.

It is funny, I was actually quite nervous taking her number. And I am not really sure what to do with it. Any call is just increasing the risk. After all, if she is there she is there and what is to say I can make it on the day I plan. Bloody good ego boost all the same.

Now this whole thing started out as an outlet for not being touched in my current relationship and the fact we were hardly having sex. However it has now become like the dancer is some sort of teacher. She has given me the confidence to know I was turning her on. She has shown me what passion is and how to be raw. She gave me the best ego boost when I showed her the outline of my dick and she froze (I am actually concerned that something did happen negatively at that point, just goes to show how damaging trauma can be even years later.).

Since then I have also read three books on relationships and hot sex. Putting it all together I had a session with my current partner that saw her have a virginal orgasm while grasping my arse cheeks and pulling me in. And in another session I gave her a full body jerking clitoral orgasm. She is even talking a bit dirty. And on my side I have been able to let my passion out with super strong orgasms and in one solo session I shot 2 feet, which has not happened in years.

I basically plan our sessions. The first one was designed around lots of for play and lots of kissing. And I have not have such hot kissing in years and if fired off my second chakra, if that is what is happening to me. And as per above a virginal orgasm and we both came together. Second session was designed to have no penetration until after she had had a clitoral orgasm by me going down on her. Now I have to plan the next session, or maybe ask her to do it.

I still want to ask the dancer a few questions and find out if she got any information from the Aunty and check in on her regarding her freezing. For those of you that may have followed my posts over the years will know that I use breath holding to push me both over the edge and to have stronger orgasms. Long breath holds in the order of 2 to 4 mins. We have had so much chemistry and coincidences that I would not be surprised if I asked her how long she can hold her breath for I would get an answer of: Well, quite along time actually. And find out she does the same as I do with breath holding. Can not hurt to ask.

It is an amazing world when things just come along at the right time. Private dances all started because of a failing relationship. Funny thing is that this dancer has just saved our relationship with my current partner.

SB

So very true, my Brother. You just articulated something that I think about very often. One of my favorite songs is the Rascal Flatts tune ‘God Bless the Broken Road’. Almost seems that, indeed, everything that happens was meant to happen, and it’s all part of a larger plan. I’m happy for you, and wish you the best. Like me, it seems that your ‘broken road’ has you in the right place now.

Aha! Mixing breath holding with sexual energy like that is a form of pranayama (yogic breath training). You’ve been doing some energy practices for a long time.

That makes a lot of sense.

I have been doing it since high school.

If your interested:

Become aroused.
Decide it is time to cum
Decide if you want to do a long or short breath hold. (yesterday I went with short)
Hold your breath and stimulate. (no preparation just a deep breath in. I had a slide show of bikini girls running and I bailed out at 1min as I decided to go longer)
Preparation of 10 deep breaths then hold and stimulate (for me at close to 2min the feeling of needing to breath move to a feeling of pleasure and tension to breath. I slowed the stimulation until I was past 2min to increase the feelings of pleasure from the breath hold. I then let some passion out with hip thrusts, thanks dancer, and had a pretty intense orgasm)

It is not uncommon for me to get to 3min and beyond, however i have been doing this for more than 30 years. A few years back I managed a 4:30 and a long time before that my record of 4:52 but I was pretty sure I was passing out when I finally breathed.

My partner never really got it except for once when her timing worked and after she came she said, My god, now I know why you do it.

SB