Lap dancer has given me some sort of awakening. Whats going on?

This is going to be hard to do, but you have to reclaim your power, your mystique. All guys should stop asking for sex and pretend you don’t give a shit. She’ll start to wonder why you don’t care anymore. Guys who get girls clamoring after them are not asking for sex, yet it’s offered. Guys who ask, expect, sulk, whine, text and beg never get it. Become mysterious again. I’m not saying this is your issue, you sound very well self-aware, i’m writing this to the general public. Guys who are asking their wives for sex are going down the wrong path where they continue to lose respect and eventually she will fuck someone else. And yes, it’s a bad pattern when you first meet a girl and suddenly sparks are flying sex is happening constantly and then they stop. This is true of the stripper, the massage therapist, the girl at the shop etc etc. After they hook you in, they have measured you, now you’re stuck and become a fraction of the man you used to be. Next time you’re in the situation where she asks you if you want sex, say “nah, maybe next time, I have to do ‘xyz’ (insert your own alpha excuse). Act like you don’t care.
We are not meant to be beggars but fucking kings. Take it back and be a king.

I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and Married Man’s Sex Primer and they both point to this philosphy.

My wife had gotten to the point where we were near divorce and not having sex for months at a time. We were also sleeping in separate rooms. The more I tried the more she pulled away and became what I can best describe as the behavior of my 7 year old on her worst possible day.

One day this all clicked and I said fuck this, I’m miserable. I just stopped caring. I still did stuff she asked but I didn’t stick around for a thank you, I pretty much avoided her.

Things changed within about 2 months. She started touching me and teasing me which I ignored. Then she started coming to the bed, which I again ignored. Finally she started initiating sex.

Things have turned around dramatically since I’ve started caring about myself and focusing on my goals, my PE, business, and fitness journey.

We will see if this continues but at this point, I’m neutral. If she wants to leave go ahead I own a business, am getting in shape, and am getting a big dick.

If she stays, that would be good as well. It seems Shaun has this mentality figured out but a lot of us guys don’t so I wanted to echo your post.

Cool I’m going to read those books
Other people reflect us. To change them we change us
It’s not them it’s me

I can’t tell from this, just how much info you gave her…

Anyway, about YOU:
I was in a similar situation in the past with my 20 year marriage. Thanks to help form a member on this site many years ago, we did make huge progress. However, the relationship later ended, when she met someone else. But *menos mal, (as they say in Span) - I got to go out with 2 other women! And the sex was electric, though different in both cases. I’m older now and I can see that some of the issues with my wife were self created, and some were due to sheer incompatibility, and other reasons nothing to do with me. We are good friends now and really look out for each other. We have 3 great grown up kids.

Oh sorry, I said this would be about YOU, ahem… :D

I think you could have a much more fulfilling relationship with your wife. However, if you make it all about fixing her - it will mostly get worse! If you really want to know my thoughts, I will tell you, but I don’t want to waste my time and yours. Most of my advice would involve changing the one person you have total control over - yourself.

From your story about how your massage of her led to great sex quite easily, it’s obvious your wife is quite responsive. Or put from another perspective, you have not quite blown it yet. The fact that there is not much touching in her family speaks volumes, so I’m not saying it’s all down to you. It would be interesting to know your ages.

*Menos mal means literally “less bad” but is normally used after mentioning a bad situation, to mean: But looking on the bright side… and then a description of the bright side follows :)

I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and Married Man’s Sex Primer and they both point to this philosphy.

My wife had gotten to the point where we were near divorce and not having sex for months at a time. We were also sleeping in separate rooms. The more I tried the more she pulled away and became what I can best describe as the behavior of my 7 year old on her worst possible day.

One day this all clicked and I said fuck this, I’m miserable. I just stopped caring. I still did stuff she asked but I didn’t stick around for a thank you, I pretty much avoided her.

Things changed within about 2 months. She started touching me and teasing me which I ignored. Then she started coming to the bed, which I again ignored. Finally she started initiating sex.

Things have turned around dramatically since I’ve started caring about myself and focusing on my goals, my PE, business, and fitness journey.

We will see if this continues but at this point, I’m neutral. If she wants to leave go ahead I own a business, am getting in shape, and am getting a big dick.

If she stays, that would be good as well. It seems Shaun has this mentality figured out but a lot of us guys don’t so I wanted to echo your post.

Thanks for the replies and advice. The support here is and has been awesome. I also realise that I am semi out of control with frustration.

Thinking more about this I will work on me first.

Thanks again.

SB

a shot in the dark but get your estrogen levels tested. I believe women respond to good testosterone/estrogen levels. Especially since you mention gym and drinking.

My level or hers?

I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and Married Man’s Sex Primer and they both point to this philosphy.