Need some advice from all you long lasters.

Chicken, I forgot to mention, breathing is absolutely essential. When you are getting near the edge, breathe out and make a noise, with an “O” shaped mouth, or even grunt and growl a little. I know it sounds stupid, but the breathing, and the sound effects really allow you to expel the sense of urgency. The other thing I do if it’s all getting too much for me is shift position slightly, it’s only a small change, but it distracts the mind.

Yes, breathing is definitely a important key in sex. But I will try it your way marky.

I had it for years and I cured it. When I say cured it, I’m still a bit like Chicken but it doesn’t bother me.

Chicken I imagine it’s a case of focus, i.e. focus on her pleasure and not on yours.

I like the earlier suggestion about imagining its a workout; I’m going to try that

This is really difficult to explain, and you have to think very differently to properly understand what I’m about to explain. You may have to reread what I’m attempting to explain many, many times.

Can you imagine anything that someone says? Can you literally see an image in your mind of what someone is describing, literally, or can you only imagine what it would look like, and you know what it would look like, but you can’t physically see it in your mind?

When I was younger, I couldn’t physically see the images in my mind. For example, imagine a clown, with a party hat and red hair exposed out from both sides, juggling and riding on a unicycle. You zoom in on the red hair of the clown, and it… changes, morphs, transforms, into a red carpet, and suddenly there are hundreds of people behind a metal fence waiting for the limousine to pull up. The limousine has spinning rims, and as you zoom onto the rims, the scene changes again to something different, such as you staring down a blender and you zoom out to find you in your old grandmothers house making something.

Can you close your eyes and physically see that? Or can you only imagine it? When I was younger, I couldn’t physically see the images in my mind, only imagine them. I could understand the clown’s hair changing into red carpet, but now I can see it happen in my mind.

You ever been grossed out by someone talking about an old woman with her sagging boobs, and people are grossed out by that? As a kid, I was grossed out by the thought, but I could not actually see an old woman with her sagging breasts, but now I can actually see it when I close my eyes.

I attribute this change from drinking and smoking marijuana, but that’s not important.

Anyways, the point is that I can usually and generally control anything I want my brain to see. I don’t have full control of the steering wheel, but I can send my mental images into particular directions.

People have wet dreams when they sleep. I can have them awake with my eyes closed, because I can physically “dream” while I’m awake and control the tempo, pace, and direction of the dream.

I also suffer from sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis accounts for the scariest moments I have ever had in my life. Sleep paralysis is surreal; Dreams are 100% vivid, you honestly think you are awake, and you have crazy thoughts. I felt my life slipping away, I felt myself dying, and it was all real to me; I awoke with tears in my eyes from the thoughts I saw. You force yourself to awake, you scream for help, but you can only whisper as you plead for mercy, and you never wake up in time.

I wrote this 100% sober, so don’t give me any bullshit for this. This is what happens in my mind, and I’m just giving you an insight into my mind.

Springer, if I understood correctly you are saying that visualization has an important role in overcoming this?

Springer,

I have huge problems visualising. Like your earlier self, I can think and feel thoughts but my imagination is at best grainy and fleeting. Can you advise how to improve visualisation.

I am really interested so please advise if you have the time.

Chicken, apologies I dont mean to deviate from your thread.

It’s not a big problem irishman, but that is one of the reasons there is a PM option.

But don’t sweat it.

Sorry Chicken, I didn’t want to pressurise any members into responding by PMing them. But will do in future.

It’s no problem Irishman, really.

Chicken,

I was merely describing how I can ejaculate without even stimulating my penis. The point I’m trying to make is that sex is very mental. I have little sensitivity in my penis, and I am a premature ejaculator.

Irishman,

Again, this is difficult to explain and you may have to reread several times to completely understand. I am also writing this completely sober if this seems odd.

First off, I know exactly what it is like for the way your mind thinks. Are you good at math? I know I was, and still am, but not like 2 years ago.

This is not something that I “learned.” I can only attribute this new mind to drugs and alcohol. When I am drunk, I think like a woman thinks. This is not a derogatory statement to women, but I literally emphasize better, read body language better, understand what people mean when they say things, not what they say. When drunk, I noticed people say things, but that’s not the message they are trying deliver. You have to look at the person, watch them say something, and visual communication is more important than audio.

When I’m high, I feel like a woman feels. Why do women like smelling flowers, why do they like the feel of fuzzy and silky objects? Why do women rave about how good some food tastes, how they can taste individual spices in the foods? I don’t know, but I enjoy them when I’m high. Food doesn’t taste that great to me, smells don’t smell that good to me, and touching doesn’t feel that good to me, unless I’m high.

Now, when I’m drunk and high at the same time, something amazing happens, and it is nearly impossible to describe. Irishman, if you think the way I used to think, it will be even more difficult to describe, but I will describe it the way I would describe it to myself 5 years ago.

First off, every time is different because of the environment your in, and the mixture of marijuana and alcohol. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see a kaleidoscope of amazing images. These asymmetrical images that I see, my mind recognizes them from a time long ago, say 3 years old, although I have literally never seen the image before. You are literally experiencing de ja vu every single second. For example, I remember seeing a checkerboard tree transform into a large red house with 20 doors where you would expect windows. I had never seen these images before, but the checkerboard pattern came from Super Mario Bros 3, when you turn on the game there is a checkerboard pattern. I played the game when I was 5. The 20 doors came from a memorization game when I was 3, there were 20 doors that held 10 different faces, and you had to memorize where the matching face was located.

The clown to red carpet to spinning rims example I used was an example of this phenomenon.

Other times, when the alcohol outweighs the marijuana, every single breath I take is…. difficult to describe. Every inhale brings in fresh air, and the energy and heat from my body radiates outward when I exhale. It was also at this time I was watching Die Hard, and how they use colors and racism. The cop is black, there is a man in a gray suit that is of greater rank than him, and a third man in a blue suit that is again higher in rank. Bruce Willis (keep in mind, I was drunk and high, barely conscious) uses a tactic to save the people in the hotel, but the villain fires a shot to attempt to bluff Bruce Willis. This is heard over the black man’s radio, and the man in the gray suit also hears the dialogue. Anyways, the black man and gray suit man assume that a person was shot. The black man, who understands the situation, realizes that this was the best that Willis could have done, but the gray suit cannot accept this because this doesn’t fit the rules (typical, by the books officer who doesn’t understand extraneous alternatives).

The black man knows that Willis is right, but the gray suit white man takes over, when I what I assume to be the FBI comes in. They are wearing blue suits. If you know anything about colors, certain colors make your skin look great or awful. The blue suit man is vibrant, his face looks alive and bright, while the gray suit gives the man a pale complexion, a submissive look. The gray suit man is very submissive, but dominant to lower ranks such as the black officer.

What I thought I learned is that black men are portrayed to be less important than the white man, EVEN THOUGH they are the only ones that know what’s going on. The black man simply needs to accept this and learn his place.

Anyways, I digress, but I would have never noticed these subtle changes like the men’s suits in the movie. To stay on subject, the more I have drank and the more I smoke, the better I can see these images in my mind, and the more I can control them. Do I feel dumber or stupider? No, but I simply think differently. The more I drink and smoke, the better I can see these images and control them. If I abstain for a long time, I feel myself returning to my previous mindset.

I have to find the personal balance between these two extremes. I find that people think I am much more funnier and that people like me better if I have smoked once in the last 5 days. I just think differently and I say funnier things! Also, I can learn things like math and science better when I have abstained for a long time, whereas I understand women better, pick up on body language, and am more socially intelligent when I have been drinking and smoking. Too much, and I forget to change the channel when a commercial comes on TV, I speak too quickly and mispronounce my words, and I am very negative. So I have to find the balance, because I don’t want to be at either extreme, but somewhere in the middle.

Do a quick ejaculation before sex and get her on the rebound. Providing it is planned sex and not spontaneous.

No I cannot. I only see things in real rough shapes and only for a second or two. I cannot keep something in my imagination for any longer than that.

Like I said before, the images in my mind are very fuzzy and with no detail.

I’ve never EVER had a wet dream.

Never had one either. Now how do you go about having a wet dream? Teach us oh master Springer!

To be honest, I never had a wet dream until I had a New Years Resolution to not masturbate when I was 17. I lasted about 45 days, not bad.

Anyways, you can’t masturbate to get wet dreams, or you have to do it like I do in a state similar to being self hypnotized, and you have to be able to manipulate the images in your mind.

It’s sad to say, but I am a premature ejaculator even in my dreams. It just goes to show how much the mind truly does play in ejaculation. But it does make me mad, I want to enjoy my wet dreams.

Also, if you are depressed, you will dream more. That’s simply a fact. I don’t know how this affects wet dreams, but I will have dreams with people I recognize in them if I am anxious, stressed, or depressed, whereas I have dreams where I don’t recognize anyone when I am “normal.” I should also note that if I have been drinking and I dream, they will always be with people I recognize. Interesting, and I thought I would share. My horizons and what I understand of the natural world have definitely expanded.

You always hear about theories people develop when they are high, and I have developed many myself. And they haven’t been disproved yet!

Maybe that’s why I don’t have wet dreams, I don’t drink :) . I don’t drink, do drugs, smoke weed, none of that stuff.

But seriously, my whole dream events have drastically changed over the last few years. I used to have sexual dreams like crazy, probably 4 or 5 nights a week. My other dreams were very elaborate and long. Now I dream in snipets. They are very fractionalized and only last for a short time.