Question for the ladies: Clitoral orgasam

Since my wife has been on Paxil she can’t have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation. She also has anxiety about it which only compounds the problem. She tells me that it feels good but she just can’t reach the point of climax. I have tried to get her to do some sensate focus, and to talk to her therapist about it. She says that she is fine without having them and that the orgasms from intercourse are good enough. I know how much she used to enjoy clitoral orgasms, which makes me believe that she is not being honest about it. It also makes me fill like there is something missing, because she don’t like me to touch her down there now. I don’t know if I should just except the fact that she is ok with it, or if I have a problem with it. Any input from the lady members would be appreciated.

quest

What is the medication for?

She takes the Paxil for PMS symptons, which are mainly crying spells and feelings of guilt (only around that time of the month). She was on Deseprimine for years which helped some, it didn’t effect her clitoral orgasms, but she still had the crying spells. She does not want to go back to the Deseprimine because the Paxil is taken care of the other symtoms. She is also seeing a Therapist to deal with her feelings of guilt, but she doesn’t want to bring up the subject of her sexual problem because she says it doen’t bother her.

quest

Tell her it bothers you, and you miss the level of closeness you feel with her when she has clitoral orgasms… Make sure she knows it is not just her problem…

Also, I don’t recall the name, but I saw an ad for a female sex aid, a clear gel containing L-arginine and peppermint oil that is applied to the clitoris, supposed to ramp up blood flow to the genitals as well as provide a pleasant tingling sensations. Perhaps you could try something like that until she can get off the paxil…

I have told her that it bothers me, but she thinks that I look at it like it’s just another notch on my belt (not true). I don’t think she is planning on quiting the Paxil, or switching to something else unless her therapist tells her to, which she will probably argue. I want her to bring up the sexual side effect to her therapist, but she doesn’t want to talk about it because she says it doesn’t bother her.

quest

Is that part of the side effect? If she could have vaginal orgasms why would it affect her clitoris only? And if she is only taking it around the time of her cycle why is it affecting her when she isn’t taking the pills?

Maybe it isn’t the pills. Maybe it is something she has been discussing with her therapist and decided that she was fine with.

Hormones are a bitch. I am not going to lie. They swing you all over the place. And they give you pills to try to cope with things. You feel bad enough knowing that you don’t have control of your body and have to take pills to control mood swings and things like that.

She could have a chemical imbalance. Or maybe you should just give her time. Maybe she will come around to telling you why it doesn’t bother her. Apparently she might have an idea. And honestly, if it doesn’t bother her, or at least that is what she says, don’t press the issue too much.

Why does it bother you when it doesn’t bother her? Is it possible you like it more than she might have? Were her climaxes with clitoral stimulation much more responsive than with vaginal climaxes? Do you feel it is something dealing with you and therefore you are bothered?

I know I ask a lot of questions, but I just want to understand. I never know if this could happen to me one day.

Anna, for me, it is a thing of sheer beauty to behold a women in orgasm while I am using my toungue to bring it about… Absolute beauty…

Perhaps this is what he misses?

Anna

Yes that is a side effect of the medicine. They also use it for men with premature ejaculation problems. The thing is they only use it when they need it. In my wifes case she has to take it every day.

I don’t know why it doesn’t effect her vaginal orgasms, and she will have 3 to 4 of them in one love making session and they are pretty intense. I know when she had clitoral orgasms she could usually only have one, and it seemed to be intense as well.

The reason it bothers me is that it has always been a part of our love making. Not like every time we do something, but at times it is a part of foreplay that helps me get aroused. I have even told her that I didn’t care if she got off that way, and she doesn’t need to think that she has to when I do that for her.

Her problem doesn’t have anything to do with me in the way that I physically perform, but more of a pressure thing with her thinking that she needs to get off when I do do something for her.

quest

If she is having 3 or 4 intense vaginal orgasms, I don’t see the problem and apparently the clitoral orgasms were not felt to be a great loss by her either. Overall she likes the way she feels better than she felt before and thinks that at least for now its an acceptable trade off. I think I would get used to the current situation otherwise you could come off as excessively needy and controlling.

luvdadus

Maybe she really doesn’t miss that part of her. I can live with that if she will let me go there sometimes, with no pressure on her about getting off. The funny thing is that she used to really like clitoral stimulation so much that she would ask for it more than I was giving.

quest

For what it’s worth, as I’ve grown and my wife’s vaginal orgasms have become more frequent and intense, she could give a rats ass about clitoral stimulation. I’m like you, I love giving a woman oral sex, it’s a big turn on to me, but when she’s revved up, she just wants me to fill her hard and deep… :)

1Quest,
What RB said can be very true. Although I do love oral and I do cum .. few times.. (blush) most the time make big wet spots.. but anyway….

That is a good cum.. YES!!!
but I cum harder with it in me. After oral I just gotta have it. :p

OK going now cause I am bright red. See yall Later.
XO

I love being here with you guys. I learn so much. Have it be known I rarely say no to receiving oral sex. :danceblu:

Well I talked to my wife tonight and she is ok with me touching, oral, or whatever, and no pressure on her to climax. When I get tired I will stop and if she wants me to continue she will tell me. This is good, the last time I tried oral I kept going, and she never said stop. Afterward I don’t think I could feel my tongue, other than the blister under it from rubbing on my teeth.

Also, I got to thinking about when we were first married it took her about six months before she had her first vaginal orgasm, and how much that bothered me then. At that time I didn’t even think it was a size thing, but more of I wasn’t doing something right. If that was the case now it would effect me much more than the clitoral thing because of the size issue that I have become focused on since finding out about the whole enlargement thing, and how a lot of us men think that is why we can’t get our women off, or get her off better, more times, ect.

Man, we men are messed up too! Thing is we can’t blame it on hormones.

>>Also, I don’t recall the name, but I saw an ad for a female sex aid, a clear gel containing L-arginine and peppermint oil that is applied to the clitoris, supposed to ramp up blood flow to the genitals as well as provide a pleasant tingling sensations. Perhaps you could try something like that <<

All Natural O’My Topical Clitoral Stimulating Gel - Ingredients: Water, Vegetable glycerin, grapefruit seet extract, hemp seed oil, sodium benoate, potassium sorbate, menthol, L-Arginine, Citrick acid.

Read that off the bottle I have in my hand. Damn good stuff too :D I tried another brand which I don’t remember the name of and it didn’t do a thing. My next trip to the goody store :) I picked this stuff up and was reading the box and had all three ladies that were working there comment on how great this stuff was. My Sweety then agreed :chuckle: Took just a bit to kick in and WOW!