Really bad premature ejaculation

(I’ve done lots of searches and reading, mods if you are upset already please read the last two sentences.)

I have primary premature ejaculation, meaning it’s been present my entire life.

It was never much of a concern to me because I never saw myself having sex for some reason. Probably because I was only concerned with video games and escaping reality, and jacking off was something I only did when I saw boobs, a cute Asian or something similar and had the sudden urge to jack off before someone came knocking on my door.

For one reason or another I’ve become aware that I do in fact want to have sex, except it seems entirely pointless to me because of how severe my condition is.

When I masturbate my levels of sensation go from flaccidity, 80% erection, then 100% erection is when I am so aroused that ejaculation is already approaching. It only takes a minimal amount of stimulation from this point to reach orgasm, resulting in a process that takes less than a minute.

I think I already know everything I can do for treatment: kegels and edging. No short, rapid kegels. Only hard and long contractions. Staying relaxed while edging and using reverse kegels to suppress orgasm. No chest breathing. Learn to resist the urge to ejaculate and only allow it occasionally.

The thing is is that my condition is so bad it’s hard for me to see any of this working. In my case can genetics (+ my background) be beaten by teaching the brain new neural pathways?

I posted this because I am hoping there might be advice I haven’t heard and hopefully people of similar background and circumstance who have managed success.

Stop jacking off for a start :P

A lot of people recommend using imitation vaginas like a Flesh Light for practice, to help you learn to control it. If you do masturbate, don’t go for reaching climax ASAP. A lot of people will boo-haha it, but you could look into hypnosis. I haven’t used it for anything sexual, but I have used self-hypnosis for confidence. It seems to have worked :)

I suffer from the other side of the scale. I find it hard to cum. It takes me ages and I usually have to go at it really hard to climax. But from my sexual experiences I can offer a couple of suggestions. Ok a few ideas for you, some more extreme than others

1. Wearing a condom I always find completely kills my sensitivity and I always find it way harder to climax wearing one. Particularly maybe an extra thick one i.e. extreme protection. This would apply particularly when having sex

2. A very obscure suggestion would be have sex with a prostitute i.e. test the water with someone that it doesn’t matter how you perform. Get use to the idea of sex and not climaxing too soon.

3. Try not to think about it too much, the more you make it out to be a problem and certainty of occurring the more likely it is to happen.

4. This is a complete poke in the dark but maybe looking at porn and getting a solid erection without touching yourself and maintaining it for a good few minutes may get our penis used to being hard and aroused without shooting its load almost straight away

These are only ideas, I hope they may help, or hope someone else can offer you solid advice.

Citalopram
Paroxetine
Clomipramine
Sildenafil

That will give you a starting point to research pubmed or talk to a doc.

ETA: Dapoxetine may also be an option, don’t know where approval on it stands. Ridiculously pricey though.

I disagree. If you can teach yourself to last long while masturbating, it will be easier to learn to last longer during sex. Start with a small amount of stimulation and work up from there. Do the best you can to delay ejaculation, and try to get better each masturbation session. Practice/concentrate on your deep/slow breathing and try to keep your mind off of of your dick. Sometimes when I’m getting close prematurely, I’ll even bite my tongue to focus on something else.

Personally I’ve had trouble with kegels (they actually gave me premature ejaculation), but others have had a lot of success with them.

Good luck on getting laid, and be sure to search the forums for titles like “premature ejaculation”. There is a ton of great information on this site.

The fact that the premature ejaculation is present even from masturbation suggests a physical component to your problem, which you probably already knew. For this type of thing you probably should see a doctor, though you may still get useful information here, ultimately you may need a prescription.

How often do you masturbate?

Ejaculating from masturbation and ejaculating from sex are not the same thing. When I have sex it usually lasts 15-25 minutes, but I can ejaculate in a minute from masturbation if I want to, but of course I don’t.

When masterbating I am able to reach orgasm in a very quick time as well. When I choose to at least. You said you only masterbate when you see something that turns you on right?

Maybe while masterbating you focus your thoughts too much on what turns you on. Thats what I do when I want to squeeze one out quickly. But I have also learned to stop the urge several times before I explode.

Practise edging… a lot. Along with some kegels. I am confident you will over come this problem. I don’t even think you can call what you have a problem yet. Until you have sex you shouldn’t really know if it is or isn’t.

Sex with a girl feels much different then masterbating. In fact I can make myself come with a 50% erection. No girl can do that for me.

Well I’ve made out a few times and every time I became excited/aroused and got an erection pretty fast out of no where. Is that something that happens less with experience?

Bhauk, I’m 24.. I used to get a hard-on from holding hands.. Yes it goes away with time, but if it’s with the one you love you’ll still get excited constantly.. Kissing still gets me pokin’ and I’ve been kissing the same girl for 4.5 years.

I have the opposite problem from the OP.. Took me over 3 years of sexual activity to climax from sex.. It still has only happened a dozen or so times.

Not a bad sign at all. Your circulation and wiring is all right. It will happen less if you condition yourself to seeing/participating in more intense stuff, as is often a side effect of watching too much porn.

I kegel and it has helped me, as a hard kegel seems to ‘reset’ you to a slightly lower level of stimulation; rinse and repeat.

Are you actually having premature ejaculation during (and/or slightly prior to) sex chronically? Or are you saying that because you can cum in a minute, you’re scared you might not last long?

Don’t worry about when you masturbate because you know exactly how to get yourself off (you’re familiar with you body and what feels good). With sex it can be different. But if you’re ejaculating during foreplay then that’s another story and yes there are things you can do.

Which is it?

The man has a point.

Could this problem just be in our head? I cum fast, and it sucks. But after a good night of drinking, the next morning it takes me way longer and I need to focus on cumming or it won’t happen. With a good ol’ hangover, your brain is out of it, so you focus less on whacking it therefore not cumming fast?

I say maybe a bit of both, but alcohol has temporary physical effects on your body. I think its more of training yourself to last longer through practice. I remember when I was having trouble with premature ejaculation, I would have these involuntary kegel contractions and whenever I had an erection I could already tell I wouldn’t last long.