That weird feeling in my dick and body!

Hey guys, I never said a thing about this but I just thought it would be good to get some input from youse guys.

You know that feeling when you look over the edge of a cliff and see the ground below?
When a shiver goes through your body.

Well, this may be a bit complicated so I will give a bit of background info on me first:

—-I suffer from depression (suicidal) and ironically a fear of heights also!
But I have seemed to have developed a kind of liking or at least acceptance to the “shiver” you feel when one looks over a cliff type thing.

Now, to the main issue here, I get a very similar feeling when I get all depressed about women not wanting me and I think to myself that (the shiver happens here) all I can get is fat ugly or old chicks.

Sometimes (this is more common now then the fat chick thing) I think that I will choose to turn gay because men want me but women don’t. (I get a major shiver)

See, the thing is that it is slightly different than the shiver you get from heights that is centered more around the legs, because with these it is more centered around the penis.

What is my body trying to tell me?
I am actually thinking that turning gay is a real option now.
Is fighting the “shiver” a path to becoming gay?

I dunno.
Anyone is welcome to say anything (even abusive).

Cheers,
Cas

Cas

If you want relationships with women, you can make it happen.

You can change your behaviour and conquer your addictions.

You probably overlook the flirts that women send you all the time.

Loose the alcohol.

Get some healthy habits.

Meet and have fun with women (at first just with the goal of having fun - don’t get desparate for a relationship) If you have fun with them they will beat a path to your door.

Now go get ‘em!!

Cas,

Buddy, listen to Luv. And I have a wild suggestion too. Remember when you were first learning to walk? You didn’t start out by running. You crawled, then you walked in a shaky manner, then you walked, and after time you ran. Well, success with women is like that. When you have little experience, you cant start out by running with the 10’s. Here is the wild suggestion. If you are able to have success with ugly, old or fat women - go for them 100%. Consider this the crawling stage. Suck it up, be with these women, and pay attention to their thoughts, dreams and ideas.

Make it a research project. Learn how to talk with them and be with them until you no longer feel any hesitations or fears. Then you can move up to shaky walking - say fat young women, or thin ugly women, or whatever. Scale them on a 1 - 10 basis. Start at the 1’s until you own them, then move to 2’s, and so on. If you do this, you will learn effective communication with women, and you will learn what women like. An ugly woman is better than no woman Cas. And dating a number of women, even ugly ones, will help you hone your pick-up skills and build your confidence.

And it would not hurt to get an outside life. Take up a new hobby that has some level of excitement. Skateboarding is pretty inexpensive. Even cheaper is hiking long distances. Running marathons costs nothing either. You could build your own Kayak for under $50 too. If you have just one interesting or exciting thing in your life, others will see you as interesting because of it. So Cas, do something interesting, and start out with the ugly women. I swear it will pay off in spades. You will be less depressed, and you will be getting laid…

Remember this!
“You are what you think you are!.

Life is very bizarre in many ways.
When you´re alone and depressed and really need somebody,
then everybody will stay away from you.

When life is good and you feel strong and positive, then
people will be attracted to you even though you really
don´t need anyone.

Don´t focus on the outside world, but concentrate on
yourself.
Set up goals for yourself, work on your self-image
and learn to deal with your fears.
As long as women sense your insecurities they will stay
away from you.

Thing is that around women I am confident and act positive.

I am changing by becoming more apathetic.

Well, I’ll put my two cents in here for the ‘turning gay’ thing Cas.

We don’t just ‘turn gay’. We don’t just choose to be gay because women don’t want us. We don’t ‘turn gay’ because it’s our only alternative in life for someone to want us. Homosexual desires are natural feelings within a special part of the population. Some of us become aware and recognize these feelings while others choose to ignore, avoid or try to will them away.

I’m not quite sure of this ‘shiver’ that you’re referring to. Could we call it ‘fear’? If you’re serious about your thoughts of ‘turning gay’ (which I’m thinking makes you very afraid), there are helplines and support groups out there for you.

And just to set the record….uh…straight, I know some incredibly wonderful ‘fat’ women that can be the best antidote for men who need caring and loving.

cascade,

Hundreds of Free Articles on Meeting, Attracting, and Dating Women - Tips and Advice go to the bootcamp.

I occasionally find myself feeling somewhat lonely, and I think I know what you mean about that feeling. Feeling cold, like you want to cover up, is the closest approximation to it. Do you sometimes find that it sort of centers on the chest, as well?

>>Thing is that around women I am confident and act positive.>>

I can’t help but think that there is a certain amount of self deception going on. If the above is true then you are decieving yourself into believing that women don’t want you - because they would. If women are not all that positive towards you - then you are not as positive around them as you imagine. Read my post again. Take charge of your life - all aspects of it - including your emotions. Be proactive not reactive. Make your mood. Don’t let outside influences and conditions determine your mindset. Now Go Get ‘em!

Well, I was going to say BUMP on PirateSteves post but BUMP on them all. You have some good advise here, use it. Iv said this before and ill say it again until it sinks in. You need to talk to somebody face to face and you need to get off the booze. About the dick issue, I would say stop or slow right down on watching porn, its giving you the wrong image of a normal looking penis is. Being gay is not a choice, its a part of who you are, I think if you were gay you would know about it. Infact I think your not gay at all and are just as scared of turning gay as you are looking over a cliff. Make sense ? The other very important BIG issue is that the more you tell yourself and think to yourself that women dont want you the more your going to believe it and the more its going to show. As soon as you think ”she wont want me or she doesnt like me” the more your confidence and self esteem will drop and she WILL see it. Your attitude and manner will change and you will act like that person she doesnt want. Let me tell you something, there is someone for everyone, and you will find her so never loose faith, life can only get better. Its up to you to make something of your life and your relationships. Its the new year now so how about making some life changing improvements. Dont let it go do it now. If you want to talk PM me any time.

You can sleep with men like a Californian takes vitamins but it isn’t going to “turn” you gay. You either dig guys or you don’t.

I think you very much need to see a therapist.

You are a bright guy, there is no question about that. I suggest you educate yourself on depression. Once you learn that it is possible for you to feel very optimistic and happy, you will learn to see depression as a chemical imbalance rather than a lack of possibilities in life.

I wish you the best.

PS

Thanks guys, it gives me lots to think about.
Actually I should have explained myself better.

I am seeing a therapist and I have seen over 10 in my lifetime so far (i’m 19).
I first saw a pshycyatrist at the age of 11 and have been going to one ever since.
I have developed a passive-agressive-internal hatred for women over time.
I have had depression and OCD (just stopped the OCD a year ago) since I was 10.
I am getting my drinking problem seen to and also trying to come to terms with my nicotine addiction as well as my recent attraction to binge eating.(I am becoming fat only recently.

One thing I have noticed it that without knowing I am becoming more apathetic as every day passes.
Call it jaded or whatever but somehow like when I used to smoke weed (had to quit because of my job) I am becoming more calmer and reserved about my life.

Anyway, thanks for the advise, I have tried the positive thing for two years and NO woman has ever responded.
I will let the tide flow toward apathy as I seem to be more calm and in this mode.

No, i’m not gay probably, (I am too sexually attracted to women) but I am not scared of becoming gay (I think).

Anyway, cheers for the advice and Happy New year. :)

Cas

Woodworkout,
>>We don’t just ‘turn gay’. We don’t just choose to be gay because women don’t want us. We don’t ‘turn gay’ because it’s our only alternative in life for someone to want us. Homosexual desires are natural feelings within a special part of the population. Some of us become aware and recognize these feelings while others choose to ignore, avoid or try to will them away. <<
Cas, and everyone,
There are plenty of reasons for turning gay. You are what you want to become. You can do anything you set your mind to, even if your mind is turned around and thinking the ways you do want it to ( i.e. being gay).. Take for example you somehow get the idea in your head that you may be gay, the next thing you know your trying to will it away. However by doing this your thinking more and more about becoming gay, the more you think about it the more you think your gay, and the more likely you will try something, because you have “gotten use to the fact” that you might be gay. Just because you thought about it so much.

There are many other reasons people turn gay.. Some guys can simply become bored with girls, people get bored with everything else in life, and want to try new things, its just as easy to become bored with a girl, or girls in general. Furthermore cas, why do you think your gay? Because YOU THINK girls don’t like you, or because you

>>have developed a passive-agressive-internal hatred for women over time.<<

Moreover.. why have you developed this hatred? Girls are very unique, and they can be the most beautiful and delicate creatures on the planet.. so peaceful.. so nice .. so kind.. and others can be very devilish and tricky.. so mean and so selfish.. Maybe you have just met the wrong girls? or maybe YOU haven’t MET the right one yet. Patience is the key, but I will tell you this, the more you think about becoming gay, the closer you will be to becoming gay. If thats what you want thats OK.. But It’s ALL in the head.. Woodwoorkout ask yourself this, If no one were gay, and no one EVEN knew what GAY was, where would you get the idea to ask yourself “am I gay”? You would’nt.

Cas,

You have gotten some good advice but I can’t help but chime in. 1st. I think we all fall into the trap of over analysing our lives. You are too young for that-go have some fun! If you are aware of your issues, you are a lot better than many people around you, work on them but don’t let them consume your life. Also, on a slightly lighter note, some of the best sex I have ever had is from some ‘fat’ chicks! They may not look good in a bikini, but when the lights go out some can rock your world! So date some one that you are interested in and let the physical thing take care of itself!

Lastly, pick up some healthy addictions like running, swimming, golf(no-that can really affect the depression, especially if you get my scores!lol) what ever, but don’t focus on your falts, your gifts far out number them!

remek,

I’m afraid I disagree with your views on homosexuality. In my opinion and from the many theories I’ve read, homosexual desires, however they got there, are developed in infancy. It’s what happens to each individual as they evolve in their family and community environments after that that will determine whether that person acts on those desires or pushes them back.

When I hear the term ‘turn gay’, I get the idea that we’re saying that homosexuality is something that can be selected…like a hair colour. It’s not that way at all. Yes, we can at some point go with our gay feelings (come out in other words) but if these feelings are not there to begin with, I doubt someone will choose to try it. Society still is not totally favourable to the gay man or lesbian. I can’t fathom someone who is heterosexual choosing gay as an option if there is no same-sex attraction within that individual. I thought we’d come along way from the thinking that a man chooses to be gay because he got hurt by some woman.

As for your question, “If no one were gay, and no one EVEN knew what GAY was, where would you get the idea to ask yourself “am I gay”?”, gay is not something you are…it’s a way of feeling, a desire, a natural tendency in some people. First of all, if no one were gay, then no one would have these desires but I’m presuming that’s not the scope of your question. I’m actually not quite sure what your point is with this question. In Cascade’s case, he knows of this thing called ‘gay’.

I think what you’re asking is if ‘gay’ didn’t exist, then one wouldn’t think of it as an option to choose to counteract the lack of female companionship. I’m certain if you asked the majority of lonely heterosexual men out there, their answers would be a resounding ‘no way’ to the suggestion that same-sex relationships was an option.

Desire comes from the heart….not from the head.