Dick Control: A Primer
!WARNING! PUTTING THE MATERIAL CONTAINED IN THIS THREAD INTO PRACTICE MAY LEAD TO SEXUAL SUPER POWERS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!
INTRODUCTION
The goal of this presentation is threefold: first, to provide a resource that can be referred to when questions regarding semen retention, ejaculation control, or sexual stamina arise—in short, questions about Dick Control; second, to present a simple and concise approach and methodology for those who are interested in this topic but who have limited knowledge or experience; and finally, to provide a practical course of action that can be easily applied.
Many of these ideas and exercises can be found scattered throughout this site, while others may be considered new or controversial. The material presented below is in no way intended to be the last word on the subject, and others with expertise or experience are welcome to post their thoughts and suggestions here as well.
While these techniques are tried and proven, what works for one person may not work for another. Still, I believe if they are applied and adapted seriously, they are sufficient in-and-of themselves to greatly improve one’s sexual health, performance, and awareness.
This is not Tantra or Taoism. While many of these techniques are borrowed from those traditions, Tantra and Taoism are deep spiritual and philosophical paths (or a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, depending on your perspective); like martial arts or hatha yoga, this material is simply a set of physical and mental exercises to improve performance.
It is my hope that this information will prove useful.
A NOTE ON TERMINOLOGY: Every effort has been made to make these concepts clear and understandable, and to avoid ‘mystifying’ language. Nevertheless, a few terms seem unavoidable—in particular “energy,” “charge,” and “spreading.” These terms are to be taken metaphorically, but I find them essential to providing a framework in which to think and talk about these ideas.
“Energy,” for our purposes, refers primarily to feelings of arousal—most obviously sexual arousal, but including other, more subtle (but no less important) feelings as well.
“Charge” has to do with the amount of “energy” one’s body can contain. If you think of your body as a battery, the aim of many of these exercises is to increase your battery’s capacity to contain higher and higher levels of “charge.”
“Spreading” is a technique for visualizing and focusing on increasing charge by distributing energy throughout the body as opposed to keeping it concentrated in the genital region.
THE BASICS OF SEMEN RETENTION
The approach to ejaculation control presented here is based on the practice of semen retention. Semen retention means the power to choose if and when you ejaculate. Retention could last an hour, a day, or a year—your choice. The point is to have the ability to make that choice, and this requires some training of both body and mind.
The urge to ejaculate is perfectly natural and deeply ingrained in every healthy male—it’s one of the biological imperatives. So it takes discipline and skill to override this powerful drive, and channel your “sexual energy” in directions other than out. This material is designed to give you that discipline and skill.
Reframing
It may be a cliché, but it’s true—the brain really is our biggest sex organ. As mentioned above, the urge to ejaculate is a powerful procreative instinct. This instinct is housed primarily (I believe) in the R-complex, or “reptilian brain,” comprised of the brainstem and the cerebellum. I also believe that the amygdala plays an important role in mediating conditioned sexual response patterns. (This is pure speculation on my part, and further discussion of specific neuro-physiological pathways is most welcome.)
The important thing to remember is that the whole game starts in the brain. One of the things these exercises are meant to help with is in creating new memories and new conditioned responses.
“Reframing” is about changing your outlook and goals when it comes to sex/erotic stimulation—changing the goal from orgasm/ejaculation to just enjoying being in states of high arousal. In the early stages of training, this involves making it a goal to NOT ejaculate. Eventually, with time and practice, it becomes more non-goal-oriented, so that you are perfectly OK with either coming or not coming, depending the circumstances and how you feel in the moment.
Getting to Know Your Penis
Right now, if you’re reading this because you want to learn the art of Dick Control, your penis is like a wild Mustang stallion—a fucking bucking bronco. Your goal here is not just to be able to hang on until the bell sounds or until you get thrown off, but to tame that horse so it will walk, trot, canter, go into a full gallop, or stop on a dime, on your command.
The first step to taming the beast is getting to know it. Learn your arousal patterns, find out where your Point of No Return (PONR) is—learn to ‘listen’ to your unit. Get in the habit of massaging your penis in various states—flaccid, semi-flaccid, and fully erect. Pinch, rub, poke, stroke with varying degrees of pressure—not just the outer penis, but also the perineum (behind and underneath the balls), the root, the bulb, and the whole lower pelvic area. Doing this, you will learn about where your sensitive spots are and where there are areas of tension. Regular massage will also help you develop a more supple, relaxed, tuned-up unit.
Get into the habit of switching into “massage mode” when you feel yourself approaching the PONR. Shifting to a “non-sexual” but still stimulating touch will help in prolonging pleasure without feeling the need to ejaculate.
Once you ‘get to know’ your penis, keep in touch! Check in regularly, get to know its moods. The material presented below will help you in cultivating this ongoing relationship.
The Mind-Breath-Semen Connection
“If you control the breath, you can still your mind; if you still your mind, you can control your semen.” –Gopicand
An in-depth discussion of breathing exercises is beyond the scope of this post (and frankly, beyond my ability to teach.) The most important thing is to be aware of the mind-breath-semen connection, and to tune into your breathing patterns, to breathe consciously. In general, slow, deep, relaxed breaths through the nose into the belly are a good way to bring your self back to this awareness, and to “still the mind.” In more aroused states, switch to inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth (you might try vocalizing “mmmmmmmmmmm” or “aaaaaaaaaaaaaah” from your diaphragm as you exhale.)
Being aware of your breathing helps you enter into a relaxed, meditative state. It also takes the focus off of your genitals and aids in circulating the “energy” around in your body. It stills the mind, and thus “stills the semen.” Try it!
Edging, Cycling, and the PONR
Edging, as you probably know, is simply extended masturbation without ejaculating. This is a cornerstone of Dick Control, and any form of edging will be beneficial to the cause. Most of the exercises presented here involve some variation of edging.
Cycling may be a new concept to many, but it’s an important one. Cycling involves moving from higher states of arousal to lower states, and back to higher states, cumulatively increasing the levels of both the highs and lows. Think peaks and valleys, with both getting progressively higher. Again, cycling will be integrated into most of the exercises that follow. In practice, it involves slowing down (or stopping completely if need be) when approaching the PONR, then resuming stimulation.
Over time, and with practice, this will result in pushing the PONR back further and further (i.e. you will be able to experience higher and higher states of arousal without losing control.) It will also enable you to remain in higher states of arousal for longer periods of time, essentially turning peaks into plateaus from which you can either descend or climb to greater heights.
The Point of No Return (PONR) is the point beyond which you can no longer control your ejaculatory response. The central aim of this method is to gain mastery over this point—to know where it is, to know how close you can get to it, and eventually to stand right on it and even push it back. With time and practice, you will be able to stay right at the PONR for prolonged periods without slipping over. You will also know how and when to back off, cycle, and come back again, as many times as you wish.
Spreading vs. Circulating
Spreading, in my view, is a safe and effective way of dealing with the surplus of “sexual energy” that is a natural by-product of semen retention. The Taoist technique of “circulating” through the “microcosmic orbit” is more difficult to learn, and many advanced practitioners feel that it is unwise, or even unsafe, for beginners who are not interested in pursuing a serious Taoist practice to attempt it. For these reasons, I advocate the use of Spreading as outlined below.
So let’s get on with it!
OVERVIEW OF THE EXERCISES (The a-la-carte menu)
NOTE: It is important to abstain from using pornography as an aid to arousal when performing these exercises. This approach is designed to create new neural pathways and increase somatic awareness, and porn (at least in this context) is an impediment to reaching those goals.
Simply put, your dick is like a wild tiger you are trying tame, and you don’t want to be waiving raw meat in front of it during training sessions. You also need to be focused on your dick (and your whole body) and its responses (i.e. the “tiger”) and not getting distracted by external visual stimuli.
Spreading
Spreading is a very simple practice that can yield profoundly rewarding pro-sexual results. It is designed to increase the body’s capacity for holding “charge.” The most basic spreading exercise—the one we will be using and building on in this course—goes like this:
1. The first step is an edging-type exercise, with the variation that you are remaining totally relaxed throughout. Find a comfortable, quiet place where you will be undisturbed for at least an hour. Get naked. It is preferable to be lying down, but the most important thing is to be relaxed.
Begin stimulating yourself, staying focused on your breathing, taking slow, deep, relaxed breaths into your belly. Focus on staying completely relaxed. DO NOT
perform kegels or reverse kegels. Be aware of where you tend to tense up or involuntarily flex you muscles, and consciously relax those areas. Standard high friction masturbation strokes should be avoided. The approach here is slow and gentle. Just gently stimulate yourself until you feel yourself approaching the Point of No Return (PONR). This should be right before the point where involuntary BC muscle contractions begin (it may take a couple tries to find out exactly where this point is). Now simply stop.
2. The second step is a full body relaxation exercise. If you are not already lying down, do so now. Lie on your back, maintaining your relaxed state. Continue to breath slowly and deeply into your belly. Close your eyes and just feel the energy in your genital area for a few moments.
Now begin the full body relaxation, starting with the tips of your toes, moving to the soles of your feet, your ankles, calves, etc. As your awareness moves slowly up your body, send a gentle but firm mental command to each area: “RELAX.” Stay with each area for a moment before moving on, leaving it in a completely relaxed state. Spend some extra time “relaxing” the genital area. “Relax” the head of the penis, the shaft, the testicles, the ligs, the perineum, the anus, your hips, your tailbone. Then continue on slowly up the trunk of your body, paying particular attention to relaxing your spine. When you reach your shoulders, move your “relaxation awareness” to your fingertips and move up the arms before continuing up through the neck to the head. You should be entering into a deeply relaxed state at this point. Relax your jaw muscles. Relax your tongue. Relax your eyes in their sockets. Relax your ears. Imagine your brain relaxing. Finally, gently remind your mind itself to relax.
Once you have completely relaxed your body and mind, gently return your awareness to your genitals. Imagine the energy pooled there to be slowly spreading and diffusing throughout your body. Feel the energy moving into a place of even distribution and equilibrium in your body. Once this is accomplished, remain in this state for at least ten minutes. You should feel profoundly relaxed yet slightly energized. You might find yourself drifting off to sleep at this point. This is fine. If you have somewhere you need to be, set an alarm clock or a timer before starting the session.
Beyond Kegels
While basic kegels are an excellent exercise for general penile health and function, the serious maestro of dick has a much larger repertoire to draw from. In addition to the BC muscle, there are the PC, IC, Levitor Ani, and the exterior and interior anal sphincters. All of these variations should be tried out and practiced at different levels of arousal, erect and flaccid, both to get a feel for them and to condition the lower pelvic region.
—The Super Pushing Kegel— A Super Pushing Kegel is a strong, long-held kegel incorporating all of the muscles of the pelvic floor, including the anal sphincters, directing the force of the contraction into the penis.
Super Pushing Kegels are useful for ramping up arousal levels and boosting a flagging erection. They are not recommended for pulling back from the PONR or stopping ejaculation. (But feel free to experiment and see how they work for you.)
—The Super Pulling Kegel— A Super Pulling Kegel is the same as a Super Pushing Kegel, but with the force of the contraction pulling in toward the tailbone, away from the penis.
The Super Pulling Kegel is one of the most important techniques for physical mastery of the ejaculatory response. It serves two functions. 1) to pull the “energy” away from your unit, helping to bring arousal down to a manageable level, and 2) to override involuntary BC contractions.
—The Extreme Kegel— An Extreme Kegel is a reverse kegel leading into a Super Pushing Kegel.
The Extreme Kegel is useful for swelling expanding the glans, particularly when combined with Extreme Edging. It’s good for boosting arousal and erection levels. At more advanced stages of practice, the Extreme Kegel can be a good way of getting a “lock” in states of arousal.
—The Reverse Kegel— A Reverse Kegel is performed by applying internal pressure to the pelvic floor, much as you would when trying to take a dump, but with the force directed towards the perineum rather than the anus.
The reverse kegel is performed by pushing out or applying internal pressure to the pelvic floor. If you’re taking a piss and push to get a stronger urine stream going, you are performing a reverse kegel. It’s good to mix some of these in with normal kegels to ensure that you are sufficiently relaxing your perineum between kegel contractions.
—The Super Reverse Kegel—This is a strong, long-held, erect Reverse Kegel.
Super Reverse Kegels are primarily used in ballooning (or Extreme Edging) to get maximum expansion of the penis.
—The Anal Clench—The name says it all. Very similar to a Super Pulling Kegel, but the focus is on simply contracting the anal sphincters as hard as possible, like when you have to take a shit really bad but need to hold it until you find a bathroom.
Strengthening the anal sphincters helps in performing all of the kegel variations outlined above. In particular, having well-conditioned sphincters is essential to perform the Internal Lock and the Great Seal correctly. ( I should add that strengthening your gluteus maximus is important as well.)
Stirring and Swirling
This may be the hardest thing to describe. It’s pretty subtle, but I think it’s worthwhile to explore. You might discover some interesting things, and at the very least it will help you become more aware and tuned in to the “sexual energy” thing. It’s best to try this for the first time after you’ve done something like the Spreading exercise or another form of edging, so you’ve got some extra “energy” to work with.
Sometime later in the day, do several kegels to get the blood flowing and bring awareness to your pelvic region. As you do this, try and visualize a ball of “energy,” about the size of a tennis ball, in your lower pelvis. Then, while holding a kegel, try and “stir” or “swirl” the contraction around in your perineum—stirring the “ball.” Make your kegels progressively more gentle until you are “stirring” with mostly your mind/awareness—using just the slightest muscle movements possible. You can move the stirring sensation back to your tailbone, or even up the shaft of your penis.
Start by doing these in a flaccid state, then try doing them while erect.
I don’t know how to describe this better. If I’ve totally lost you, just skip this one.
EDIT: a more in-depth discussion of “Stirring and Swirling” can be found here: cheeva - Dick Control: A Primer
Extreme Edging
Extreme Edging is outlined here .
Locking
Locking involves stopping fluid from escaping out the end of your dick. From this perspective, if you have to take a piss really bad but hold it in, you could call it a “piss lock”—just a strong, long-held kegel.
—The Manual Lock
The Manual Lock consists of pressing your ring and middle fingers firmly into your perineum just before the point of ejaculation to stop the emission of sperm. This is not generally a recommended practice, since semen will be forced back into the bladder, and can cause mild discomfort.
While it is not a good idea to make a habit of doing this, you may find it useful at the beginning, both for determining where the PONR is, and to start conditioning your body to the habit of withholding from ejaculation.
If you do decide to use the Manual Lock, use it sparingly, and don’t make a habit of it.
Also, even when doing the Manual Lock, apply the Internal Lock at the same time. This will help you get a feel for what the Internal Lock feels like right at and beyond the PONR, and will also stop some semen from entering the urethra (and thus the bladder.)
—The Internal Lock
The Internal Lock is a Super Pulling Kegel applied right at or before the PONR and held until the erection subsides. In addition, the buttocks, toes, fists, and jaw are clenched tightly as you focus on “pulling the energy” out of your genitals and back into your body. It is preferable to do this exercise standing up with knees slightly bent, digging your toes into the floor. (It is also recommended that you place your tongue lightly on the roof of your mouth, just above your front teeth.)
Doing this at any point before the PONR will bring the arousal level down, strengthen the pelvic muscles, and condition your body to “pull energy” back instead of out. Doing this repeatedly during a session is a form of cycling.
If you succeed in applying the Internal Lock right at the PONR, and no semen escapes, you will have accomplished a “dry orgasm.”
After performing the Internal Lock, please do Step 2 of the Spreading exercise, or a similar full-body relaxation technique.
The Great Seal
This is an advanced version of the Super Pulling Kegel and the Internal Lock, and can be used as a test of your progress. It is a session unto itself. The goal is a completely dry session—no pre-seminal fluid!
The key is to maintain a kegel through virtually the whole session. In practice, you will be holding kegels for long contractions, relaxing very briefly, and re-clenching. As arousal levels increase the kegels become stronger, to the point that you are performing Super Pulling Kegels. To end the session, move from a Super Pulling Kegel into the Internal Lock until the erection completely subsides. (Again, if you apply the Internal Lock right at the PONR, you can have a 100% dry orgasm.)
At more advanced levels, you might try incorporating Extreme Kegels into the mix at the early stages of the session.
Cycling
Cycling involves simply backing off from high states of arousal, staying at a lower state for awhile while Spreading, and then returning to a slightly higher state than before. The idea is to progressively reach higher and higher states, and to stay there for longer and longer periods. And when you back off, to be backing of to higher states than before…progressively higher peaks and valleys. (But always knowing how far you need to back off!) This practice should be incorporated into any form of edging that you do.
Cycling is one of the most easily adaptable and practical techniques to apply “in the field.” This practice alone can greatly improve your sexual stamina. Ultimately a big part of is in the mind, and there is not necessarily any muscle control involved.
Riding the Tiger
Like cycling, this is a variation that can also be applied to various exercises and is designed to prepare you for “real-world” scenarios—both to push the PONR further back, and to help you stay right at the PONR for prolonged periods of time.
It is a very advanced technique when applied during intercourse, particularly if one does not have a cooperative partner. The Real Thing is an entirely different beast, and will probably take years to master “in the field.” In practice, there’s no particular technique involved. But hopefully this will prepare you a little, and set you on the road to earning your sexual black belt.
“Riding the Tiger” simply means staying just in front of the PONR for prolonged periods of time without cycling. This will take a lot of practice, so don’t be discouraged if you it takes awhile to master.
You can combine this with cycling as well, perhaps attempting to Ride the Tiger at the end of a session.
CONCLUSION
The material contained in this post is the product of 22 years worth of study, practice, and experience. It is highly condensed, and while it is intended as an introduction to semen retention and ejaculation control, these techniques can easily be extended and applied to more advanced ends.
After mastering the basics, for example, one can apply these methods to achieve ‘dry’ orgasms, or multiple orgasms. One approach would be simply pushing the PONR progressively back further and further, then applying Super Pulling Kegels and Locking when “going over the edge.” (You might need to apply Manual Locking the first few times you try this, in order to get a feel for it.)
You should be able, after mastering the exercises outlined here, to understand your own sexual response patterns enough to be able to modify this material to your own ends, and cultivate your own approach.
All of these exercises can be easily integrated into your edging sessions—in particular the concepts of Spreading and Cycling.
While much of this has been adapted from diverse sources, it is all the product of my own personal practice and experience. Two sources, however, do deserve explicit credit. Most of the Taoist-influenced stuff can be traced back to Mantak Chia; and I owe the spreading technique to Julie Henderson and her wonderful little book, “The Lover Within.” It is my belief (born out by experience) that combining Spreading with Taoist- style retention provides a safe and easily learnable way to work with increasingly high levels of sexual charge and the practice of semen retention.
If you retain no other information, at least remember this: in order to gain Dick Control you need to spend a lot of time playing with your dick. The one hitch is, learn to do it for prolonged periods of time, and don’t bust a nut every time you do it! And be aware of your breathing!
Oh yeah, and ultimately, it’s all in the mind!
You are now equipped with the basic information you need to gain control of the wild stallion that is your dick.
My sincere hope is that this information will prove useful. It really is potent stuff!
My only request is that you use it in a wise and loving way, both towards yourself and your partner(s).
Good luck!
Last edited by cheeva : 09-16-2008 at .
