Yataghan, ejaculation is just a muscle spasm that ejects semen. The first rule to retaining your ejaculate is to realize whole-heartedly that there is actually a distinction between orgasm and ejaculation. However, Westerners generally associate the two and often think of them as one. The second rule to retaining your ejaculate is to realize whole-heartedly how important it actually is, and conversely how detrimental ejaculating is. I mean think about it: your body creates 50-250 MILLION sperm per load, each capable of creating a human life. Your body puts a hell of a lot of work into that and throwing it in the trash is ill-advised! You lose energy that could literally be used to help bolster your health.
If you want to get good at withholding your ejaculate, you need to strengthen your PC muscle. I assume you are familiar with kegels, but if you aren’t go ahead and search the forums. This muscle is instrumental in blocking the ejaculation when it feels immanent. Another important thing to know about is what occurs during or close to ejaculation. I’ll just tell you, your testicles pull close to your body and your breathing gets shallow and fast. In your journey to avoiding ejaculation, you can massage your testicles and pull them downward, away from your body whenever you notice that they are in the process of pulling close (ie. preparing to ejaculate). Also, you need to control your breathing. If fast, shallow breaths are conducive to ejaculation, you need to maintain deep, slow breaths throughout your sexual experience.
Another thing to note is that non-ejaculatory orgasms are quite different from their ejaculatory counter-parts. They are more like full-body waves that overtake you for several seconds at a time, sometimes longer or back to back. But you’ve got to get a grip on avoiding ejaculation before you can experience the orgasms associated with that. Don’t expect to have orgasms at all the first few times you experiment with non-ejaculation. The only goal in these first sessions is to not ejaculate.
Feel free to ask any specific questions people!