Getting Stopped By Airport Security

Almost every single time I’m at the airport and go through one of those big machines (where you stand in it and put your arms up and it scans your body) I walk out and the screen shows up a yellow square right on my package. TSA has to stop me and give me a pat down. I’ve started calling it my free airport run and tug lol.

I’m trying to figure out why it keeps happening and if it happens to anyone else. It doesn’t seem to matter what kind of underwear I’m wearing and I always wear gym shorts through the airport. I like to make the joke that my package is so big they think I’m smuggling something but I don’t know if that could really be the reason. Please let me know if anyone can explain this.

That happened to me when I tried to go through security wearing an xsleeve. It set the full body imaging equipment off. When the TSA guy started fondling me, his eyes got real big and he backed away in a hurry. It was funny in an embarassing sort of way.

Do you wear boxers when going through security? That might make your package look bigger to the scanner, as it sees your penis against your leg. Tighter briefs might work better. You also might want to try avoiding pants with metal zippers. Another strategy might be to sign up for TSA pre check. The TSA pre check line doesn’t normally use those full body imaging scanners - just a metal scanner set with a higher tolerance level.

It’s nothing about a metal zipper because I wear basketball shorts. I also have set it off with boxers and boxer briefs so I don’t think the underwear makes a difference. I was wondering if it’s something to do with it sticking out so far or so low that it thinks I’m smuggling a foreign object or something, but I don’t know if those machines do any kind of size/placement scanning/comparison, or if they strictly just find a different material, that’s what I’m trying to find out. I also thought maybe it had something to do with sweat but I’ve gone through without sweaty balls and I doubt my balls are any more sweaty than everyone else that goes through.

It happens to me al of the time. Ever since those machines were put into use, I get the pat down. My wife laughs and I’ve had a few women smile like they knew what it was all about.

Thanks for the comment Titleist. So you believe I’m the machine goes off due to the size and no other reason?

Yes, just the size.

I’m surprised there aren’t more people saying this happens to them…

Happened to me on my last trip in June. Told the guy who groped me that he owed me dinner. He said, no I was the one who owed him dinner.

:D