I need some serious advice

Hello fellow members of TP! I’m in great need of some valuable advice regarding my current PE-journey and if it is reasonable for me to continue at this time in life.

So the thing here is.. I’m currently seeing a therapist because of my size anxiety (which I really should not worry about at all because it is above average) and overall problems with my non-existing sex life because of performance anxiety and ED when it comes to sex. I haven’t had penetrating sex in a very long time (we are talking years) because of this and it has begun to affect me mentally to a pretty great extent. I know that this affects my EQ and overall libido greatly and sometimes weeks can go by without me masturbating once. It has been 9 days ago since last time. I’m only 24 years of age, my overall physical health is very good. I workout at my local gym 4 times a week and have a healthy diet and get adequate sleep everyday.

So.. That was a short background about me.. Now onto my PE journey..

I started the linear newbie routine exactly 2 months ago today in hopes of adding some size and improve my overall libido and EQ. At first I only saw PE as a complement beyond seeing a therapist to come to terms with my size and sex life. However, I have noticed that PE is feeding my size insecurities and makes me even more stressed out about this whole issue of mine (but don’t worry, I have good self-control and won’t rush things). It has made me think of my penis and everything related to my above stated issue everyday which most likely affects my EQ and libido even more. I have had ambiguous progress thus far when it comes to my PE journey in regards to PIs and EQ. I have taken it very slow and monitored PIs and EQ very carefully. My EQ and PIs have fluctuated greatly during these 2 months. I have experienced great EQ some days (increased frequency, hardness and therefore size during a few of these erections). During some of these erections I have measured a lenght and girth that my penis have never been at before which indicates that I am doing something right. I have also experienced some positive PIs from time to time (larger flaccid hang, more spontaneous erections) and only negative PIs once (tingling), I took some extra rest days after this. I can’t notice a pattern in which way things are going regards to EQ and PIs because they fluctuate greatly.

So in summary.. It is hard to indicate where things are going at this moment in time. My mental state and overall worrying regarding my issue is working against my Positive PIs and EQ making it hard to know if I’m doing things right and could be confused with potential overtraining (negative PIs and bad EQ). The only indicator I can keep track on is my morning wood which I still consistently get every single morning at various qualities. I was thinking, as long as my morning wood still stands and I am not experiencing any negative PIs (except for fluctuating EQ which could be affected by an infinite number of reasons that has nothing to do with overtraining), I will continue my PE journey. I am really curious about PE and want to give it a go, but would like some advice if I should continue or take a break at the moment?

I just wanted to get this off my chest and hopefully get some good advice. Thanks!

Thestrong

Table PE and work through your current challenges with your therapist. You already said you are above average and have these issues, so how will PE help?

There are a couple points in an ocean of nuances here.

1. Most women just want a confident lover, even less than average is often enough given a good lover.

2. You need to understand why, penis size aside, you care so intensely what someone else thinks about you. Some will like you, some will not. Some women will enjoy you as a lover, some may not. Oh well, it shouldn’t impact your sense of self worth. Not everyone is a match for intimacy.

Have you spoken to your therapist about PE? Being open during those sessions is important.

I would suggest tabling PE and focus working on your size anxiety.

Best wishes my friend.

I concur.

My thoughts on why PE would help me and the causes behind it:

PE have made me more aware than ever about my penis. I have noticed I have an upward curvature (that never bothered me before) which, from an aesthetic point of view is unpleasing for me. I want to try to correct this as well. And since my failed sexual encounters during the years mainly is due to me being worried about my slightly above average size I have come to the conclusion that a bigger penis of mine would solve this problem and I would be overall happier with my future sex life. I also think it is because I get excited about the thought/fantasy to have sex with a big penis with women. Something I have a hard time believing I will experience with my current size. I have also always been worried about my size which have made me feel inferior and less masculine, it’s a horrible feeling really. The thing is I am a sort of perfectionist and high achiever when it comes to anything related to looks and physical attributes and do not want to be even close to average when it comes to anything related to this, hence why I started PE (in hopes to become far larger than average). Anyways.. This is a problem for my therapist to solve and not you guys. But writing it here helps me clear my thoughts and is a part of my process towards a more fulfilling life.

Thank you again, and feel free to comment.

Thestrong

Little Engine gave you solid advice. In my opinion your not in a good place for PE. It’s going to make your size dysphoria worse. You need to work through your issues with your therapist before considering PE. Come back when you start to feel more comfortable with who you are. We’ll still be here to help and support you.

One more thing I’d like you to ponder before starting PE. For one reason or another not everyone gains. PE isn’t guaranteed to work for everyone. What if your one of those guys that doesn’t gain?

I get the feeling that you may be a perfectionist. if this is the case, then as with all people of this type, you are setting yourself up for failure. The only way forward is to stop worrying about everything and accept yourself as you are. I say this with the best will towards you.

I would work on dating more and then when it gets closer to the time for the hookup, I would let the girl know that you’re anxious because you’ve experienced performance issues. There are harsh women out there but mostly, women when you ask them are very willing to help you.

Yeah, this is what I have been feeling lately. PE just gives me more anxiety and stress at this time in life.

Maybe. But it has just been 2 months, so it means pretty much nothing. The thing is, I am immensely stubborn when it comes to things like this. If it doesn’t work the first time, I just get more dedicated and curious for alternative exercises and methods to make it work. Maybe in the future though is best for me.

Yes, my therapist suspects this as well. Even if I would gain an inch, I would probably want more after that. A never ending cycle. Well.. Hopefully I’ll get to terms with this. Thank you for your input.

Yea my thoughts as well. But I’ve actually already opened up to one girl about my performance anxiety. She took it very well but we did’nt have sex anyways. Thats because my concerns about my overall looks and especially my penis size is deeply rooted within me and my self-esteem since childhood. I’m doing my best to get to terms with this.. I hope it works. Thanks for your input!

I have been occasionally visiting some Swinger Clubs during “a phase” a couple of years ago.
My wife had graciously accompanied me, but we never engaged in heavy-duty swinging, obviously for hygienic reasons.
Nevertheless, we enjoyed the sexualized atmosphere and seeing and being seen.

Most men who visit these clubs are probably already a bit on the larger side because of the obvious confidence issues that might prevent the smaller ones from doing so. Yes, you will usually see are maybe 5-10% of the guys who have really huge dicks there, but most men you see are between 13 and 17cm erect, and you see all kinds of forms, lengths and widths.

And yes I say erect because Swinger clubs are probably the only place for a heterosexual male to see a lot of real erect dicks outside of porn. And forget the image conveyed by porn, as they are only filming with the top 10% biggest dicks ON THE PLANET these days, plus they use camera tricks. Just look at porn from the 70s and 80s and you will see a huge difference - there used to be a lot of “standard” dicks back then.

From my real world evidence, I can assure you, most women, even those that are quite “oversexualized” as they are willing to visit Swinger events, are not even giving so much thought about dick size. I am about 6.5” erect which is according to most surveys a bit above average.
In the clubs, I have gotten invitations from women who apparently liked my although they were accompanied by men with bigger dicks, and although there might have been several larger dicks “available”.

If you log in to German language Europe’s leading Swinger Portal “joyclub.de”, which has about 3 million registered users, there are dozens of groups for people with various sexual preferences. One of them is called “Big Dicks and Chicks”. It is open to women with a preference for that and to men with large dicks (at least > 18cm). The group has about 9000 members, both male and female, and put that into context of maybe 300’000 daily logins (active users) which tells you something about the priority the big majority of women have about “big dicks” (so it would be about 2-3% of active users).

From various forum discussions on Joyclub as well as my own anecdotal evidence from Swinger and Fetish parties, I would say: For maybe 5-10% of women, a big dick is something they might be really obsessed with,
on the other hand - maybe 10-20%, they actually prefer normal to smaller dicks because they are themselves “built small or short”, and they feel pain from big dicks.
The big majority of women prefer a totally normal dick, and to most, its actually not that important. They are much more interested in the overall package of the man, his looks, his grooming, his manners, his humour -

and most importantly, his confidence.

You seem to be projecting your desire for a larger penis over top of Our advice. You asked for Our advice but continue to post the case that penis enlargement would help you when it would obviously not help you. You are going to continue to generate stress around your size and penis enlargement will cause you to obsess more about it. That is why you posted this thread. You did not post because you are frustrated with penis enlargement not working you posted it because whether it works or not it will worry you more than you already are.

That has already happened. Penis enlargement has generated more stress for you already. Until you get your mind completely right about your body image and What Makes You worthwhile as a person you will not gain anything good from penis enlargement.

A larger penis attached to an insecure person is still the same person who is not going to get laid and not going to be happy with himself. I ran this cycle for seven straight years. And it took a toll on me and I never saw anything good regardless of what I created. Pursue penis enlargement if you must but I guarantee until you are mentally prepared to accept yourself nothing good will come of it.

Thank you for your answer thoughtful. I just wanted to give LittleEngine my perspective on how I saw PE could help me as an answer to his question. I am listening to all advice given here and I will give PE a break for now to get my thoughts straight.

Some wise words. You are 100% correct and I will take this advice with me. Thank you for your input!