In dire need of help. need to last longer.

About 2 months ago, I started looking up stuff on kegels and what not. I tried the kegels and I noticed a stronger a erection the following day. However, the next time my girlfriend and I got together I couldn’t last for more than a minute maybe. We were going to again, but it takes me too long to re-cupe (I need porn or something at that point, I’ll be erect, but not hard enough for penetration). We tried the next night and the same thing happened, it was horrible. This happened maybe 2 more weeks afterwards, where there would be 2 consecutive nights like this during the week. It always felt like I had to urinate while we were doing anything and it made me go prematurely every time, even when I would try to pee beforehand.

My girlfriend has a really low sex drive and she always says how she doesn’t care about sex and she can go with out it. So, we would never have sex that often anyways, maybe once every 2 weeks. I know that may sound crazy to most people, especially guys. We are both in our early 20s, skinny, and very attractive (please don’t take that as me being arrogant?! I don’t usually say that, but I’m trying to be honest. Members of the opposite sex go for us all the time.). She is my first girlfriend and first sexual partner as well. We’ve been together for over 6 months now and things have gotten worse in the past few because of my premature sex problem. Before, she would say how it doesn’t matter and that just having sex with me was good, just because it was with me. Now, whenever we have an argument, the idea of me not lasting long is always brought up. Apparently, now, she does have a problem with sex..

She’s said how her past boyfriends would go really fast and it was horrible and they would eventually just stop having sex altogether. She insists that it’ll end up like it was with her other boyfriends no matter what and never get better. When we first started dating, she would say how amazing I was in bed. Back then I didn’t know anything because I was just starting, but things have gotten really bad. I’m not sure if it’s due to the stress of hardly ever having a chance to do and not wanting to fuck it up, or if it’s now just the stress of knowing that she’ll be really bothered by it? It could be a physical problem of some sort? (Maybe caused by an infection of sort) I’m afraid that it could be from the kegels? I’ve read before, that guys who have tried kegels, would have an even worse time controlling their ejaculation..

I’ve been Edging recently and Jelqing some, but I don’t think I’m doing it right or strict enough to make a difference. The techniques that have worked so far have been: using pressure points near the head and base of the shaft to kill some sensitivity, holding down on the nerve or vein in the choad to kill some sensitivity and forcing out pelvic muscles (reverse kegel?) whenever the muscle that ques the PONR involuntarily flexes. I wish I could differentiate between flexing the different pelvic muscles, but I always end up flexing them all to a degree.

The night before last, I lasted for a good half hour and I thought I had a breakthrough by pressing deep in the choad (or the vein between the balls and anus). The sensitivity would be killed easily with this technique and my hand hurt afterwards from pressing so hard. I eventually had a dry ejaculation or possibly a retrograde, because I still felt a weird buzzing sensation down there where I was pressing ‘til the next day. Then I went again the next day and lasted a half hour as well, easily. None of the pressure point techniques would work for some reason, but I seemed to have lost a lot of sensitivity and gained a lot of control over my level of arousal. I felt more confident in using these techniques even though they didn’t work this time, but maybe I could figure them out and pinpoint where and for how long they needed to be held? Today I tried to go and only lasted for not even 10 min, while edging. This is due, possibly, to: resting a day, drinking a lot of fluids (having the urge to pee all day) or doing kegels earlier in the day?

Please help me out anyone.. I don’t want to lose my first girlfriend just because I can’t please her anymore. I know that she would leave me mainly for other reasons and not just this, but I’ve already lost a lot of attraction from her because of this. I need to show her that I can make her happy in every way possible and that things can get better. It’ll kill me knowing that she left me and she’s out there getting it good from some other guy who took the time to take care of his problems (maybe he never had any though).

Thank you all.
-C

Have sex more often and you should last longer. My ex would only allow sex once a month I was lucky and it was hard to last. Now my girl wants some at least twice a day, and I can last at least 30 min.

Some swear by edging, but it’s impossible to replicate the pleasure of a real woman. Kegelling should be useful. You can also look up “million dollar point” on google.

Frigid at twenty? There’s got to be something else to it, you know.

Yeah, thats what my best friend says. He “must” have sex at least once a week w/ his girlfriend, so he thinks we’re insane. This is normal for her and it’s become normal for me as well now. I try to look at it as a good thing sometimes, because if we banged as much as I used to want to, she’d probably be pregnant by now. One thing that has hurt is that she can only get in the mood at my house, in my bed, but now my mom won’t allow her to stay the night anymore. So, my possibilities of banging are if she sneaks over to home or comes over during the day. I don’t know why we’ve never done it anywhere else, but it’s so hard to turn her sex drive on? I guess we’ve just always done stuff here and she feels most comfortable here. I know at her place, she sleeps on an uncomfortable reclining couch with her dog and it gets super hot in there too. Not the ideal love-making environment..

She’s told me all about her past experiences and she’s basically had a bad history with guys, sexually. She’s always been strange about affection. One minute she want you to hold her, the next, she’ll flip out if you put your hand on her back. She has always had a problem with kissing even, by just turning away when you get close enough. She says how she’s always had guys try to kiss her and she naturally just turns away. The bottom line: she’ll kiss me when she wants to. That same mentality of hers transfers to sex as well.

Thanks tomdi!

How old are you?

Your girl is a trip. I hesitate to advise looking elsewhere, cause I know we’re only getting a very partial, fraction of what your relationship is like, but honestly, if I was your age (you sound young) and my girl wasn’t eager to give it up, I would look elsewhere.

Look, you’re going to beat this premature shit - you’re well on your way to becoming multiorgasmic, or, at the very least, learning to delay ejaculation; what you really need is a girl who would be all too happy to practice with you. If you’re as good looking as you say you are, you won’t have any problem finding a willing participant… that’s not tongue-in-cheek, that’s sincere.

If you love this girl, love her and try to make it work, but honestly dude - you need to get laid more.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think your girlfriend has some deep seeded issues that she needs to workout with a professional. She may have been abused. I could be wrong, but reading this sets alarm bells off in my head.

“My girlfriend has a really low sex drive and she always says how she doesn’t care about sex and she can go with out it.” —-That just sounds like a huge lie to me. Sure you want to be able to please her, nobody understands that better than the guys at Thunders who spend countless months making their dicks better for both themselves and their lover.

Have you tried improving your foreplay techniques? I hope you were kidding about getting her pregnant…if both of you don’t work out your issues, you are in for a rough ride(especially if a kid is in the picture).You could always abstain from sex…

“whenever we have an argument, the idea of me not lasting long is always brought up. Apparently, now, she does have a problem with sex..”
Don’t put her in such a high place or be so afraid of losing her that you would let her use a temporary problem of yours to make you feel bad. No girlfriend or boyfriend should ever insult anything sexually about their partner. It is wrong. Respect is a much more important part of a healthy relationship than great sex.

Kegels and edging have helped me last longer and I don’t see how strengthening the PC muscles could make premature ejaculation worse. Another trick you probably already know is masturbating shortly before hand. :D

Don’t get too discouraged. You are not the only one in the relationship that has some problems and this can be remedied. I’ll think about this and get back to you if anything good comes to mind.

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. If sex is honestly a factor in negating your relationship… talk with her about it. If that doesn’t do anything then the relationships over. The longer in the relationship, the longer you’re pressured, probably the worse the problem will occur. It’s anxiety and you can’t just turn it off… there are no instant fixes.

If one has sex frequently… one becomes desensitized and it’s easier to last longer. When I first started having sex I put a lot of pressure on myself as well and had problems with this. Something that helped me was getting to the ejaculation point, then STOPPING altogether, pull out, kegel and hold until the orgasm has passed. This gives you a shitty orgasm, but there’s a good chance if you get your dong back up again, it’ll stay hard as long as you want. I’d use that technique in the past when I wasn’t having frequent sex. It’s hit or miss. Good luck man!

Also, the improvement in EQ you noticed may have been more of a placebo effect than anything else. It usually takes weeks of hundreds of kegels for them to REALLY improve control and EQ.

I’m 23 and she’s 20. Even looking at our age difference, theres a possibility of some immaturity issues, don’t ya think?

She’s not the most stable individual by any means and I know I could do better. Whenever I try to talk problems out with my friends, they tell me how I deserve better and can get better easily. She’s the love of my life and at this stage, I can’t really think of being with anyone else. I have always heard people say how 1st relationships don’t last and then I do have all these friends telling me I deserve better. Both of our parents are divorced and we’ve had to deal with the aftermath (she’s had to her whole life, mines not nearly as bad though). I think all of this just makes me want to work things out no matter what, I’ve waited to long for a relationship, to just fail at it. Sorry for all this relationship stuff, I’ll get back to the penis stuff..

I want to do more kegels, but I’m afraid it will just constrict things even more down there and make it more difficult to urinate. Thats what seems to have been happening lately? Whats ironic is that whenever I had that retrograde/dry ejaculation, I peed better than ever. Except I had this constant weird sensation down there. In hindsight, another thing that may have helped numb the stimulation somehow was an occasional jelqing while edging. I thought I was making some progress, but I need to find out those points better, because sometimes they are hard to find/use. I’ve tried to read some of the “Multi-Orgasmic Man” and it mentioned the million dollar point, I think thats where I was pressing sometimes the other night?

Regardless, I know this stuff can be remedied and thank you all for reinforcing that. I plan on trying to just do more foreplay stuff, because I almost enjoy that more than sex and I used to really be able to turn her on that way. It seems like, for a while now, it just has to be a straight intercourse thing. I’d much rather have a long make-out session and then just mess around a little bit. I think I might try to do this more and who knows what that may lead to. :)

I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment by the end of this week just to rule out anything out of my control. I seriously haven’t been in years..

Thanks again guys!

When you first start doing kegels they make you cum faster but than they start to help so keep doing them. Keep on edging and remember don’t let yourself cum during the process you want to teach your dick that being touched does not always lead to cumming.

Also your girl sounds like more work than she may be worth, find a girl that likes sex because it sounds like this chick is fucking up your self esteem.

If you’re only getting sex once every 2 weeks, its no surprise when it finally comes round that you bust your nut before you’ve even started.

So rub a few out in the meantime, preferably edging (stoping jsut before the point of no return then doing it again over and over) for as long as possible beforehand.

And don’t give up on kegels. They are very powerful if you do enoug each day…I do about 40 minutes worth every second day while i’m doing other stuff, hard to concentrate at first but it gets easier.

And maybe try to bring up how you’re feeling about this stuff in a conversation that didn’t begin with an argument, simple communication can be very powerful. I think it’s a bit rough of some of the posters above to have said you should ditch her based on what you said…It sounds like you are very fond of her and I hope it works out, but if there really is an irresovable problem make sure your love doesn’t blindside you to the truth, whatever it may be.

:)

Here’s some suggestions:

- I bite my cheeks and try to concentrate on the pain.

- I put the tip of my tongue on the top of my mouth and concentrate on that.

- This one might be surprising but I suck on my girl’s breasts. Focusing on pleasuring her nipple and how I’m using my tongue causes me to think about that rather than the impending load my dick wants to plaster in her.

And by far the most effective method I use:

- Opiates. This one depends on whether you like to get high or not but I use a synthetic opiate called Tramadol that is prescribed for the off-label use of preventing premature ejaculation. I usually chew one up so it sets in quicker and about 30 minutes later, I’ll be ready to go without a condom for at least 30 minutes. The only problems I’ve had with this method are girls getting sore during the act because it can take a while to cum (but man it makes you feel like a champ) and taking one too many and having trouble getting an erection. I haven’t tried it but I’d bet tramadol and viagra could turn any man into a porn star. For matters of comparison, tramadol is pretty similar to vicodin but (a) much less addictive, (b) more awake/alert (not groggy like vicodin) and (c) doesn’t show up on drug tests because it’s not an actual opiate. It has the effect of numbing you to the point your dick won’t be as sensitive but you’ll still be able to feel everything going on. Your ability to handle it depends on your body chemistry of course (e.g. It’s not for people with seizures). I’ve had people tell me they get really high from it whereas I feel basically normal when I take the small type of dose necessary to prolong ejaculation. I’ve been doing this for a couple years and it works like a charm.

Just throw on two condoms and fuck her senseless, then remove the condoms and fuck her until she’s unconscious. Works every time.

Do you eat much? You said you were skinny, if you don’t have anything in your stomach water will go right through you, possibly accounting for why you have to pee all the time.

:rolling:

I like your style.

It’s no wonder you’re ejaculating too quickly if you aren’t having sex often. If you want to delay ejaculation, try breathing deeply and slowly. Rapid shallow breathing is associated with ejaculation. Another thing that happens when you ejaculate is that your testicles pull toward your body. The trick is figuring out what things go on during ejaculation and preventing/controlling them. If you get close to ejaculating, give your testicles a firm tug away from your body.

About your situation, are you sure she’s being faithful? I see it as an example of the infamous “first relationship” kind of thing. Everyone goes through it….. Everyone learns the hard way! The first relationship RARELY EVER WORKS even though you always think it’s the love of your life! Also, I’ve _never_ heard of a 20 year old girl with no sex drive. Like another member said, was she abused? or does she have a medical problem?

Anyway, the advice I gave you should help out regardless of who your partner is! Good luck to you! :-)