Newbie here-poppin cherry post
Hey guys, I’m new here and looking to get some gains. I guess this will be my introduction to the site and probably a long winded list of goals, questions and probably more. I am just getting the gist of things around here. I haven’t even taken my starting numbers yet.
Well, I figured I would get a game plan together, do tons of research while doing the rookie routine and light hanging, ADS stretch and pumping (pumping is mostly for more blood flow, warm ups and confidence. I’m not expecting permanent gains with pumping). I started pumping and built a lightweight hanger (~2 lbs or less) before I found this site. I hope I didn’t stunt early gains by doing so.
Here’s the deal: I am 50lbs over my comfortable weight, have a horrible job for blood circulation and exercise, have a crappy diet AND.. I smoke! These are all areas I feel that are the most important, that I can change to make the biggest (easiest) early gains and will help set myself up for a solid foundation to make actual growth gains. I am looking for any help (super easy secrets, magic spells, etc lol) with a beginner fat boy routine to help shave some weight, a meal/food diet, better blood circulation to the penis in the flaccid state and a miracle penis growth routine. Lol
My plan so far is to cut back on smoking and start vaping, start a better diet, do enough exercise to tip the scales enough that I loose some weight-doing more as I have more energy and feel I can handle more and start a smart PE routine.
I do have some PE experience, though. I used to do the rookie routine regularly, pump, stretch (hand, homemade ADS and hang) as well as clamp. I did these on and off but did not keep with it for more than a couple months at any one time. The last straw was when I knelt down for something (tie my shoe?) and the leg strap must have moved towards my knee from my thigh muscle flexing, because when I stood up the small metal hook on the bungee cord I was using on my homemade ADS device came under so much stress that it straightened out to just a large curve and came undone from the leg strap, shot northward and connected with my scrotum with enough force that I believe my feet, literally, left the ground.
The following description of events were indeed plenty noticeable to the small audience of strangers in the public location I just so happened to be in at that very moment. There was a ::thawack::: followed instantly by me making a sound very much similar to the sudden exhaust of air and simultaneous expressed sound like a ninja accepting a punch to the solar plexus, and an integrated expression of shock, fear and suppression of intense pain upon my face. I froze, closed my eyes, inhaled like Snoop Dogg trying to break his own personal best bong hit record and chanted with my inner voice: “Mind over matter. Mind over matter.”.
The chant.. Did not help.
As my pain receptors went into “DEFCON 4” I then had to try to manage what seemed like a gallon of adrenaline that my brain pumped into my blood stream to counteract the intense pain. The adrenaline gifted me with instant sweat and made me shake like a heroine addict needing a fix so much so that when I attempted to see if anyone had witnessed my traumatic experience my right eye developed a cartoon villain like twitch.
So there I was, my penis stretcher nearly giving me a vasectomy by way of a catastrophic malfunction in the presence of many fine strangers, in so much pain they don’t have a face horrible enough on the chart in the doctor’s office to represent it, shaking like a diabetic with a blood/sugar level of 2, mortified with embarrassment and in desperate need of a walker.. The kind with tennis balls on the legs and a braking system. Now, if you can take a direct shot in the balls by a slingshot at point blank range and not shed a tear, I would personally give you a gold star, and initial it, on your man card. I, gentleman, would not have received a gold star this day. No, no.
With my eyes teared up.. And twitching, the last thing that I remember was thinking that I had to do my manly best to play it all off. The rest of the day is a complete blank. I don’t know if I played if off well or not, I have no recollection of how I got home. Nothing. I retired from PE with that trophy of a memory at the forefront of my mind.
But I’m back!. And I own a welder now! Lol
Thanks for reading and I look forward to any insights you may have to share with me.
