Should I start dating or get a big penis first?

Sorry to be blunt codysimpson98. However I’m not trying to be an asshole. But there’s nothing the matter with your dick size. Your size is already equal or better than what many of us have or started with. It sounds like you are just not good at sex. A bigger unit won’t solve this problem. A bigger dick won’t make you a sex god so get this out of your head.

Being good at sex is one part enthusiasm and two parts caring more about your partner’s pleasure than your own. You don’t just have a penis. You have 10 fingers, you have a tounge. Learn to use them. Likewise your partner doesn’t just have a vagina and a clit. There are many other erogenous zones.

Ask her what she likes. Make sure she has a good time. This is what makes you good at sex. Not a big dick. A decent sized dick is just icing on the cake and more for you than her. And don’t forget that a dick that is too big is more of a hinderance than an advantage for most women.

UOTE=codysimpson98]
-but when I put my dick in chicks and start fucking them.. I never really get much of a reaction.

And in most cases the girls aren’t really interested in seeing me anymore after the first time we have sex (especially the hot ones).. Which has hurt my confidence a bit.
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I certainly don’t want to kick you while you’re down, but hear the words of others and learn how to please a woman without your penis FIRST.

Movies, popular culture and especially porn, has taught ignorant men that vaginal penetration is somehow going to please their partner, and in the overwhelming majority of situations, this is laughingly inaccurate. Not to say that it has no place, as my wife’s best orgasms come during vaginal penetration, but it’s everything in the hour or two leading up to that that makes penetration just another form of intimacy that adds to her experience.

If you are dating an emotionally healthy and sensible gal, she will most likely value your ability to be attentive to her needs far more than the size of your parts. So much so, that I’ll offer that your dick size is almost irrelevant. It’s especially irrelevant if you lack the anatomical knowledge required to bring her to climax REPEATEDLY before you ever have penetrative intercourse.

Be willing to ask her what feels good, and then listen and observe.

I normally give my wife several orgasms before I’m inside her; then, I give her several more with gentle finger tip touch WHILE inside her (with little to no thrusting), then when she has had her fill of that, she then begs me to “finish” as her most powerful climaxes occur after I come. THEN, after she’s satisfied there, I pass her the vibrator and she gives herself several more climaxes. I frequently have to help her up afterwards, as her muscles are on the verge of cramping from orgasms… All the while, I’m observing her body and words for confirmation that what I’m doing is helpful.

If you want to treat her right and keep her interested, 80-90% of that is OUTSIDE the bedroom. Once you’re in the bedroom, always make HER come first. Having your climax before she’s had one or more is selfish and speaks of ignorance.

Movies and porn have likely destroyed many men’s idea of what a woman wants and enjoys; I’m guessing you have treated your dates the way some video suggested and THAT is why things aren’t going well.

You desperately need accurate intel on the species of animal you’re “working with”, and you should start by simply asking. Additionally, if she makes a sound or body language that suggests she likes something, KEEP DOING IT. Don’t be afraid to ask if there’s any doubt. After nearly 24 years of marriage, I still confirm the occasional groan or sigh to be sure that groan or sigh was a “positive sound” or not. I simply ask: Was that good? And then I respond accordingly…

Good luck

-Horseman1978-

I appreciate it, we want you to feel better!

Well there are positions for g-spot stimulation that you can read about, but I don’t think they actually work the way they are explained and described. Like doggie style position, you read that its “great for g-spot stimulation” but for my wife, its not the case. That doesn’t mean this position does NOT stimulate the g-spot, I just know that there are better ways preferably for me. My wife cums like a beast from intercourse, dozens of times, but she cums from just the tweak of one nipple for a few seconds, IF SHE’S TURNED ON ENOUGH ALREADY!!! As everyone here has said: its all about how turned on the woman is before you even have her clothes off.

So in missionary position, which I find the easiest for g-spot stimulation that is not too intense or too hard, and easiest for me to control, if her legs are up a bit, not way up (although it helps, like if her legs are straight up so that they can rest on your shoulders, for example) but up enough, it angles her anterior vaginal wall, or the wall that is on the side of her pubic bone, and the g-spot is on that wall, so when you thrust you are pretty much angled to directly hit the g-spot. This can be good, but also bad. If she is not ready, meaning if her vagina is not fully tented and elongated, vaginal walls full of blood and lubricated, then her g-spot might not be receptive to pleasurable feelings. It can feel the same as when the cervix is hit to hard by a penis (so my wife says). But if she’s hot and ready, like eyes closed, moaning, hair a mess, possibly sweating and panting even, then g-spot stimulation will be what she wants very bad once you’ve started stimulating it. I’d say to start stimulating the g-spot with your fingers first before penetration, but you need to make sure she’s very turned on and already had at least a few orgasms.

Bear in mind that there are women who are like the “one and done” kind where they need over an hour of stimulation and they have one massive orgasm and then don’t want to do anything sex-related after that, and there are some moderate cummers who have a handful of Os, maybe 3-8 Os or something like that, and then there are multiple O women like my wife who have so many Os every time we’re together that its impossible to count them, its “dozens” that’s the best estimate we can come up with. So not all women are going to be multiorgasmic regardless of what you do (although my hunch is female orgasms and what and how many there are of them depends on that woman’s own masturbation history and technique…) but you can get them off and get them more excited for your cock.

It really all boils down to how open to pleasure you BOTH are. For men, its not all about cumming. I sometimes wish I didn’t have to or want to cum because the intercourse feels so good and its kind of orgasmic in its own right, at least for me. She wants to want to get off. If she’s into cumming, then exploring sex positions and angles and ways for you both to experience more sensation and stimulation will be easy and you’ll both figure it out. But she needs to be a part of her own pleasure too!! It’s not all about “men please women” that’s what I read on forums now and it comes from the way pornography has programmed men to treat women, and its not all about sexuality but sensuality. There’s a difference between being sensual and sexual. The sensual lover wins the year, the sexual lover wins the day, maybe just the evening. You need to encourage the woman to be as into her pleasure as you are into hers, and she needs to be into yours too. And I’m not talking about she gave you a BJ, so she’s into your pleasure. That’s not it.

She has to be an equal share partner in the pleasurable union between both of you. Period!

Hope this all makes sense! Glad to offer some advice if I can :)

OP just stay out there and practice. I can’t tell you how good if felt when my GF(both 22) at the time said “we’re getting pretty good at this” as we were getting dressed from our weekly encounter. We were both inexperienced and trying hard to figure this sex stuff out. Stay out there and practice! You have received a lot of excellent 100% correct advice in this thread.

My wife said the same thing to me and I felt it too somewhere around the 4 month mark of having sex together. We had done it quite a bit by then, but we didn’t feel like we were really “doing it” until several months passed. But we actually didn’t feel like we were REALLY doing it until like 10 years of being together, in our early 30s, when we knew our bodies so well and could do all sorts of things to each other and also by ourselves. Time+sex=amazing!

interesting.. ill look it up

I bounce between Argentina and Chile

yh I feel confident in most other aspects of my life, its just my penis and the bedroom which make me paranoid..

Thats true I could be in a worse situation..

Ive always fantasised about railing a girl, and after discovering PE I thought maybe that could be possible one day.. A reason I wanted this was bc I always thought that is what girls want to experience..

But yeah I should just focus on pleasing her with what I got instead..

No you are right, im not good at sex. I always thought that is mainly due to my penis size.. (probably bc of porn)

but it seems that’s not the case. Foreplay is even more important apparently.

thanks for the tips

yeah it seems ive got the wrong idea about sex due to porn..

“Once you’re in the bedroom, always make HER come first”

^^yeah ive never done this before, mainly bc I thought I would make them cum during penis penetration. so I guess that’s me being a fucking idiot..

ill look into how to do this bc I don’t know what techniques to use…

some great advice there man thank you

wow man I didn’t even know about half of this stuff!! thank you

how long does it usually take to make her orgasm with my fingers and tongue if im doing everything right?

should I learn to make a girl squirt with my fingers would that be a good idea?

“There’s a difference between being sensual and sexual”

^^hmmm interesting, never thought of it like that

yh if I could find a girl that would be happy to “keep practicing until we are having great sex” then that would be the dream.

just need to make sure I don’t fuck up too bad the first time we have sex

Good luck!

It doesn’t make you an idiot, but it certainly gives you an area to work on.

As a man that wasted 30+ years of his life with porn, I feel pretty strongly about it’s detrimental effects and wrong ideas it conveys. I absolutely LOVED it, but it quickly became a necessary component for my arousal… Even after marriage.

There’s a book I recommend called “She comes first” The thinking man’s guide to pleasing a woman (Ian Lerner).

Amazon has is in paperback AND audio book.

I believe it will help the ladies you are with as much as it helps you.

Good luck!

-Horseman1978-

the “railing a girl” thought is what porn makes you want to believe. Like JB and Kyle sing, you can’t fuck em hard all the time, sometimes you gotta make some love “and fuckin give em some smoochies too”!!!!!!