Originally Posted by sls1025
Hey KingsCounty. Awesome story and yes similar situation except my wife is not shy :) . How’s it going now with the dildo ?My mistake was not talking about it first but I knew if I did she would’ve said NO anyway so I tried the surprise method too.
Married with kids sex takes a back seat sometimes and gets vanilla for sure. This definitely opened up the topic a bit and now I just need to make sure this toy works as advertised tomorrow night and helps bring back some of her early days mojo.
That was my big mistake too, the surprise, she even said so. After the initial screw up tho it opened up things a little bit for us in terms of communication in and out of the bedroom. We men forget that women are very different in they want to feel safe and secure first, they’re also emotional creatures where we are more visual creatures when it comes to sex. Her thinking maybe “why am I not enough” she like my wife may not have seen it as us wanting to give them the most pleasure possible. I learned, first I have to make her feel safe and loved in anything I want to try in the bedroom then we can move forward.
Yes she is shy and embarrassed by sex but she does enjoy it and in the moment she will really get into whatever we’re doing, it’s the before or after convo that she shuts down. That is extremely frustrating because I like communication and an understanding of what we both enjoy. She recently has gotten so that she grabs my body and pulls my hair a little when we’re going at it good but when I brought it up she changed the subject. I hate that!
As far as the toy, like it said in my post at first she said absolutely not, then a week or two into trying she loved it. So now we use it like once or twice a week and she’s at a point now where I can really put it deep inside her, at first it would be just the tip and mostly clit stimulation from the vibration of it. Because of her lack of sex communication I really need to read her tho, sometimes she’ll say I don’t feel like using it but then after using it for our warm up she gets into it. So it’s tough for me, I wish I could read minds or at least had some truth serum lol