I would like to share my personal thoughts and experiences about masturbation and as it relates to men’s health in general. These are my personal observations and in no way constitutes medical advice or is intended to contradict the experiences or opinions of others. If this post is too long then I will keep the next ones much shorter but I wanted to share my experiences and maybe shed some new light on the subject in regards to real experience and not just scientific reports and speculation. If this helps a least one person then it was worth it.
Background:
I am a part time artist and into a lot of photography and nude artwork of many types, Photoshop retouching, video editing etc. I have quite the collection of photos, videos and airbrushings etc. I have had three wives, many one night stands and girlfriends as well.
In the past I have always masturbated too much and has caused problems for me and my partners. As my artwork continued to get better, I could not help it. I love beautiful woman and sex, as we all do, but the over stimulation of artwork, sexual thoughts and horny women was over whelming. Even with access to sex with good looking women. It also did not help that my ex-wife was into all kinds of sex to the point we almost killed each other during sex.
So, I was use to the extreme sex and sexual thoughts in addition to my own projects. The results were turtle head, I was thinner and smaller and was halfway impotent most of the time. I had problems getting hard without extreme stimulation even with a beautiful woman. This also affected me mentally as well in the long run. The more stimulation you get the more you need to become aroused.
Moving Forward:
My current and hopefully last wife is an absolutely beautiful, petite, thin, Latina with a body of a twenty year old. Although she is a narcissistic nightmare a lot of the times, she has actually been a blessing in disguise. I am not bragging just let me continue.
With her, I could not work on much of my artwork because of her ideas that it was just pornography. She likes good sex but not what I was used to. I ended up working on my projects, and looking at my photos and pornography in secret and yes masturbating even though I have this beautiful sexy wife. I had no control as I was physically and mentally use to masturbating whenever I wanted. It was even difficult to get hard on demand and I did not even get an erection just by seeing this beautiful creature naked in front of me. This caused problems for our sex life, marriage and for me.
Masturbating kept me from seizing opportunities to just take my wife like a man, Yes she likes when I do that, because my penis was worn out. Other times I was just mentally not into it because I was satisfied and many times I felt guilt and began to feel terrible that I could not just have sex with her when I wanted or when she wanted. I also caused other problems with being more assertive and a more dominant man. I get it now.
In addition, she likes good fun sex but not twice a day everyday as it gives her no time to recuperate and enjoy the next round. Two or three good sex sessions a week works for her and I respect that but was not working for me. In addition, my old size of 4.6EG and 5.5BPEL was only satisfactory for her even though she is petite and tight. Combine all this and you can see over masturbation can cause physical, mental, and relation problems.
Changes in the wind:
One year ago I decided to do seriously do something about all this. I started researching testosterone levels, dangers of masturbation etc.. What I found did not surprise me and confirmed everything I already knew and was experiencing.
On a side note, I also found a great site and purchased a cheap package about how to get and handle woman, how to be a man, that changed my life as a man. No, I am not trying to sell anything. I can post a link if anyone is interested but that is another subject. I combined that with more research on PE and have now turned my life around.
I stopped working on my artwork for now. I removed all temptations and easy access to any form of nudity that would provoke sexual thoughts and lead to masturbation. I really tried to stop looking at other women wondering what they looked like naked. I have my beautiful wife and that is more than enough. Yes, I am still a normal man with desires but I was working toward a goal. I wasn’t trying to deny who I was as a man.
The immediate results where that I did not have to worry about hiding photos or anything like that anymore. This was a load off my shoulders. I began to stay fuller and was not as worried about when I was having sex with my wife. Sex felt better and I was a little more confident and relaxed. I also started getting hard by just touching, hugging, or thinking about my naked wife in bed and also got my morning wood back. What a difference. At this point, the lack of regular masturbation increased my sexual desire and ability to become erect by at least ten fold. I also need to note that the lack of regular visual stimulation in the form of pornography or nudity also means that when I do see something now, including my sexy wife, I get a natural chub on like a healthy man should.
PE and Masturbation
So, I then started PE. I have been on my jelqing and pumping routine now for going on seven months. I am now 6.25 BPEL and 5.3 EG. When I first started it was impossible to not jelq or pump without masturbating. With my two session a day workout routines I started masturbating twice a day and gains were slow. However, at least my erections were from being healthy and normal now and not from the needed visual stimulation or extreme thoughts and extreme sexual acts. But, I still had similar problems with two masturbation’s per day and how it affected me in bed.
What to Do? What to Do?
At this point I think I was on the level with most everyone else here in regards to masturbating after a workout. Things still felt better, my performance was better, my mental health was better but masturbating twice a day was too much and still affecting my performance and desires and I believe now, my gains. I could not complete a session by edging without losing it. So I dug deeper and re-evaluated my current situation.
What I found was during my sessions I was still thinking about my wife in an uncontrolled manner. This added to the sexual tension instead of concentrating on my workout. I had to get this under control.
An Accidental Discovery:
So a while ago my narcissistic wife was causing problems again and we did not have sex for a couple weeks.
Side note, I don’t give it to her and reward her if she is acting poorly. She is so stubborn she won’t ask for it. She hints around and does subtle things to tempt me but no go until things actually change. I won’t let her control me anymore with sex and this is due to my new found self-control. This has gotten me more respect because she knows I won’t tolerate her bad actions and I don’t need sex from her like before.
Anyway, during this long break from sex I continued my routine and made a big jump in gains. I forced myself to not think about her or any sexual thoughts during my jeqing or pumping routines. When edging after a routine, if I came close to an orgasm, I stopped and got up and walked around for a minute, thought about something else then returned to the process. If I have a sexual thought I don’t ignore it I let it pass through my head and then think about something else. I also learned to treat my manhood more gently.
This was a difficult process at first but I really wanted to dominate my self-control and self-discipline. Without masturbating on a regular basis, getting back to seventy percent or hard again is easy so I can take a break if needed. Thinking of sexual thoughts just puts me over the edge. It is difficult and takes practice and has helped me tremendously in my routines and in bed with my wife. But, it gets easier with practice.
I believe after all I have read and through my experience that an orgasm is needed about every three days. So I now I accommodated myself every at least every third day by having sex with my wife or at the end of and edging session except on my days of rest. Rest means rest, period. I have learned to keep my hands off my little buddy during these days.
During this two weeks of no sex with my wife and my new controlled routine there was less shriveling, I was fuller during the day and started to get even better, random, semi erections. This is when I made the jump to 6.25 BPEL and 5.3 EG. I believe it was due to the changes in my new masturbation habits and controlled routines. I know I have made some new gains since then but need to take new measurements.
Lessons Learned:
• Self-Respect!
• Extreme masturbation causes many physical, mental, and relationship problems. It causes a temporary form of impotence.
• The more visual and physical sexual stimulation you are exposed to the more you need to keep up.
• Daily masturbation can cause similar problems.
• Daily masturbation can inhibit gains. This is my personal conclusion.
• Daily masturbation keeps the penis from being in the best physical form possible.
• Men need to orgasm once and a while.
• Self-discipline and self-control will help your routines, gains, and your life.
• Sex is one hundred times better for my wife and me. This is not only from the gains I have made but from the freedom to initiate or accept sex and the mental aspect of our sexual encounters with each other.
• DO NOT obsess over your PE. Make it part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth and taking a shower and enjoy your sex life as normal. Read the forums, learn and make the necessary changes but don’t obsess. Gains will come.
• On sex nights I always jelq during the day but I don’t do my complete pumping routine. When I know I am going to have sex with my wife I try to get in a low pressure 30 minute pump routine to make things even better. However, if it is spontaneous sex I not worry about it and just enjoy. Nowadays, Getting pumped naturally, and keeping it that way for an hour or so and edging myself using my wife, making her crazy, and using my wife’s anatomy to massage my tool, etc… is in itself a great gains routine for me.
• Sex with a real woman, My Wife, is much better for the penis than masturbation. This is my conclusion. Maybe because I was too rough on my best friend. But, when I masturbate it tends to lead to shriveling etc.. When I have sex with my wife, my penis ends up being more flaccid, full, and relaxed afterword and the next day.
• Stamina in bed is difficult to determine. It depends which days I have been working out, days of rest, did I have an orgasm the night before by edging or sex with my wife etc… Sex feels so much better for both of us and some days I tend to cum fast and other days I can really last and make her crazy with multiple orgasms from the start. However, on the days when I cum fast it is not a problem now because my recovery time is next to nothing now and I still stay big the second time around for her. Like the old joke, one for me then one for her. Now, she knows it and she doesn’t worry if I cum first and we make new games of it. This is another bonus from my hard work.
• I have also learned not to be selfish and I have learned humility in the process. For example, I do not worry and obsess over having sex or masturbating anymore. I don’t act selfish and use my wife just for my pleasure. Giving my wife pleasure and watching her squirm, moan, scream, shake and enjoying our time together is as much a joy and turn on as anything before. Worrying about masturbating and pleasing myself is selfish and in the long run, I enjoy so much more now and with confidence. I have given my wife a new man and with my new gains I have something she wants. I even do things like even when I am horny and she is looking good I use my new self-control to hold off. I will do more things to turn her on and then make her wait. This makes her want me more and then the next day or two when we have sex it is awesome for her and in turn awesome for me. There have been days she has jumped my bones because she could not wait!
• As for testosterone and other levels, I don’t care! I am not going to obsess over speculation and things I may or may not really control. What I do know is I feel great mentally and physically and my wife and family are very happy.
So guys, here is what I have learned and think. Treat yourself with self-respect, don’t worry about the small things and things you can’t control, concentrate on the things you can change, do what works for you to make your gains while staying healthy and safe, enjoy the gifts and power we have been given as men and use those gifts to make yourself and your women happy. I wish the best for everyone.
