Jelqing Glove

It occurred to me that we need a way to do 2 things:

1. Measure the pressure of a jelq.

2. Measure the percent erection level.

So we need a jelqing glove that has fluid filled chambers in it. The chambers have some sort of pressure gauge so one can tell how much pressure is currently being exerted.

This glove would then be wired to an inflatable ring that would go over the penis and measure erection level. (Like a little blood pressure cuff that would inflate for just a quick second every so often.)

Then a display could be developed to show the correct amount of pressure for the current erection level. Maybe something like airplane landing strip lights?

You would calibrate the thing yourself.

I started posting this for fun, but after I writing it sounds a little less crazy, but only a little.

The Jelqmaster 3000?

I forgot the timer. It would need some kind of metronome to time the strokes.

I posted for the humor, but the more I think about it, something like this will be needed in the future.

If you want to study the best way to jelq, you basically need something like this.

The Jelqomatic?

The units displayed would be “Jelq Evaluation Lengthening Quotient” or J.E.L.Q. level.

Fit it with a vibrating hood for the glans. When the erection drops below a certain level, the vibe kicks in.

Have I seen this in a movie somewhere?

That’s nearly as silly as the breast-shaped pillow that dispenses beer that I designed some time ago. When very, very drunk! :D

That is funny and reminds me that the Jelqometer will need a cup holder as well.

And of course the Jelqo-nater will need to be totally wireless between the erection level sleeve and the glove.

You should also be able to download the data into your computer and bring up all kinds of cool graphs and stuff.

LMAO!! The beer dispensing pillow made laugh for like five minutes!! I need one of those SO bad!! So when you market it, make sure you post on here first, lol. Man that’s funny!

Dare one ask, what was the inspiration for this concept? You flaked out drunk and couldn’t be bothered lifting your hand to take another drink, so you thought, if only the beer was in the pillow ! Close?

I was in a bar in Hat Yai, in Thailand, and had rather a lot to drink. I was having to support myself to stay upright. This cute young thing came across and said ‘You need a pillow’ and promptly put my head between her breasts. I slurred ‘If those produce beer I’m never moving again’. :D