Should I go for 8" BPEL or not? Any negatives during sex?

I’ve had family members who have experienced a drastic reduction in auto immune symptoms through extended duration fasting. 30+ days consuming nothing but water and vitamins/minerals. My mother has fibromyalgia, lichen sclerosis and vitiligo. Her pain has diminished greatly, and both of the others have stopped their spread and even begun to recede. A friend’s wife has MS and the fasting has curtailed most of her symptoms as well. Might be something to look into for your wife.

I’m off the mind that the reasoning and rationale behind the loss of desire on the part of a woman for their guy is seldom as simple as the red pill philosophy would have you believe. The idea of hypergamy and relative value is too neat and tidy a package to explain away all female behaviour. I’m sure there are situations where it applies, but on the hole, I find people and their behaviors to be far too symptomatic of their own individual lives and baggage to fit any single mold. I mention this because I’ve heard a myriad of comments that seem to be coming from that general philosophy.

Have you and your girlfriend ever really talked about sex? A person’s sexuality can evolve. As a relationship develops and you become more comfortable with the person that you’re with there’s less distance, mystery, and anticipation. A competing school of thought on sexuality contends that people are essentially looking for two separate things. In a relationship you are after safety security and comfort, none of which are very sexy. When you’re after sensuality, it thrives on unpredictability, danger and anticipation. Those attributes are pretty much diametrically opposed. This happens to a lot of relationships a few years in. You become more comfortable, she gets less horny. There’s a variety of ways to try and deal with that but at the end of the day it should be a mutual effort. There are a lot of ways to introduce an element of danger or insecurity to a relationship, but if you do so unilaterally you risk damaging the relationship. Sometimes beyond repair.

It’s recommend finding a way to make it clear to her, if you have not already, that while you’re patient, that patience is not infinite, and you’re not interested in permanent celibacy. Make sure she’s aware that the status quo isn’t acceptable, and see if she is interested or willing to make an effort to try and change things.

Another thing to remember it’s that a lot of it’s get lazy once we’ve been in a relationship for a while. Don’t stop romancing her. Complacency creates the space for bad elements to sneak in.

Lastly, you said she’s pretty much always around. This can be a problem all by itself. I know the age if covid isn’t the best time for it, but try and encourage her to stretch her legs and have some hobbies or a social life outside you. This can highlight your separateness and bring back some sparks.

It’s too long.

I really appreciate this feedback. It is profound. It is one of the things I keep pushing her to do but she pushes back. I will keep pushing.

Thanks Again!!!

We have been married for 20 years and have 2 kids in elementary school. We love them dearly but they suck up the last of her energy. She barely has energy from sucking up the pain and just getting through the day. With 2 kids, privacy is a challenge. I can’t get her out on a date night. She is more turned on when I do things around the house. Fix, build, cook, clean. I do it all. I have to ask and re-ask for sex 95% of the time. She wants sex but feels like shit. 2 months ago I was building a retaining wall in the yard, shirt off, she dragged me into the shed for hot sex. I need this once a week, that’s the problem. Yeah, when she finds out there is an attractive girl at work, bam, hot sex…

I believe I am getting laid once my kids are asleep, 🤞.

I don’t want to hijack this thread.

Yeah, I want an 8” cock as well. First I have to cement 7” and not fitting in a toilet paper roll. I am able to accomplish this after pumping and looking forward to cementing it. Definitely enjoying the EQ gains. Definitely enjoying the comradery and knowledge sharing on this site.

May or may not be applicable to your situation, but my wife actually gets turned on being used as a “moist warm hole” for my pleasure. Kind of a Handmaid’s Tale subservience vibe. Not all the time, but certainly often.

Wish that was my case. She is in near constant pain and just does it to shut me up. Shitty situation.
When we were younger, in College, she was into being completely dominated and used like my sex pet.
Really want her to feel well and not in pain. I feel like shit trying to get my nut off. It happens so infrequently with her. Tonight was a flop. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Fucking purgatory. Well, back to growing my dick. I suppose in a way it helps me feel like a man, that and sport fighting…

✌️

I’ll give you my perspective. I’m about 7-3/4” BP with a normal erection, and it’s get up to about 8” at peak of arousal.

I’ve been with six women over the last two years, and in a general sense I could not bottom any of them out in any position. In the deepest positions, like her on her side with me straddling one leg, or for some in prone, I was right there in her P spot and she couldn’t take any more. With a few of them I always felt like I could use another half inch or so;

Granted I’m a tall guy and I like taller women. These ranged from 5’4 on the short end to 5’7, two 5’9, and one 5’10. If you are talking about smaller women this might change.

So from my perspective I’d say go for it. 8” works great, and I haven’t been limited from going as hard as I can with these women.

And a last word - one of the earlier posts mentioned worries about length with regard to hitting her cervix. I’ve got long fingers and can penetrate about 4” with them. On all these ladies I could just barely touch their cervix, but nonetheless could touch them all - at about 4” deep. If you get your lady properly aroused, and tented you’ll never hit her cervix. If you are longer than 4” you’ll glide past in most positions, or can target her A spot shallower if you choose.

Oh, and a final word. If your sex life is dead now and she’s just a girlfriend wait until you are married. You’ll have a dead bedroom in no time. It’s a combination of kids, lack of novelty, and I suspect hormonal changes once you’ve settled into a long term relationship.

If you value a decent sex life look elsewhere

Yes, was afraid you’d say that. There’s definitely a difference. I’ve experienced minor versions of that, and it’s no great fun for either party.

Excellent “real world” advice.

What’s your way to do this?

First, my size isn’t too big for any woman, but in some positions I can go too hard on the cervix. With my girlfriend I learned how to put my cock in this place where I can be uncomfortable. To make her crazy with that feeling, she must be very aroused and I have to be very careful. The best way for her is reacting to her body and adding very little pressure. Make her feel that I’m in the control of her between pleasure and pain and make her be mentally aroused to that.

With 8.5bpel I hit the end on around 25%. The usual response is discomfort like kneeing a man in the balls. It can also be uncomfortable for me as my head gets pinched or something.

Very true. In marriage they have you “trapped”, so for most there’s no need or desire to go above and beyond.