Should I go for 8" BPEL or not? Any negatives during sex?

Yes. I’ve read some on female forums on the subject. Some women complain that they lose desire when the man is not helping out at home, cleaning the house or generally pleasing her outside the bedroom. However, that’s not the case her as I have my own apartment and while she’s sleeping over her 5/7 days a week, she contributes pretty much nothing to the household chores.

She gets a lot of emotional support from me and I’m pushing her to do things in her life she wouldn’t have done without my support.

The one place I’m lacking is that I live a busy life, so we don’t have a LOT of time together. Still - to me I’d say that would make it even more important to have sex when we’re together. But it’s just not happening.

In my opinion - she’s the one who’s not really investing in the relationship (see above). So I feel it’s me who should be fed up.

By the way. I also read on that forum from some females who complained about the same problem. THEY couldn’t explain it. They just said that they lost interest in sex in every relationship they was in. They had no explanation for it either.

Yes. I’ve read some on female forums on the subject. Some women complain that they lose desire when the man is not helping out at home, cleaning the house or generally pleasing her outside the bedroom. However, that’s not the case her as I have my own apartment and while she’s sleeping over her 5/7 days a week, she contributes pretty much nothing to the household chores.

She gets a lot of emotional support from me and I’m pushing her to do things in her life she wouldn’t have done without my support.

The one place I’m lacking is that I live a busy life, so we don’t have a LOT of time together. Still - to me I’d say that would make it even more important to have sex when we’re together. But it’s just not happening.

In my opinion - she’s the one who’s not really investing in the relationship (see above). So I feel it’s me who should be fed up.

By the way. I also read on that forum from some females who complained about the same problem. THEY couldn’t explain it. They just said that they lost interest in sex in every relationship they was in. They had no explanation for it either.

In my own experience I’ve gotten some “You’re big” comments, but never any jaw dropping or obstacles during sex.Current girlfriend says I’m the biggest she ever had, but she’s not been around that much either and I do get the feeling she could handle a bit more length. A few even seem to not mention it much at all. So, I’m thinking another inch wouldn’t categorize me as too-large-for-sex by most women.

Yeah. Agreed. My girlfriend is a long term GF, but we’re NOT having great sex. In fact, our sex life is dead. Which is probably a topic for another thread. I’m not sure if I’m going to solve it or if we will eventually break up because of this, but either way I’m confident she could take another inch. Strangely, she seems to have more limits with my girth. At least early on. And I don’t feel girthy at all at 4.9/5”.

As for keeping the relationship - the thing is that SHE’s happy without sex. I honestly think she doesn’t miss it. That’s how it seems and pretty much what she says too. She’s just not a very sexual person. Or maybe I didn’t bring it out in her?

So, if I want to keep this relationship I do not think I have to fix anything as she seems happy this way. The question is more if I would want to stay in a relationship that’s void of sex and if there really is a solution to it at all.

Thanks for the comments, guys! I’ll just adress downwardcurve specifically as he seemed to echo what most people said.

I don’t know to be honest, but I do know I enjoy it right now and it’s nice to just ‘let loose’ and not worry about going too deep.

You don’t miss the pelvis to pelvis contact yourself when it’s not possible?

Yeah. Agreed. My girlfriend is a long term GF, but we’re NOT having great sex. In fact, our sex life is dead. Which is probably a topic for another thread. I’m not sure if I’m going to solve it or if we will eventually break up because of this, but either way I’m confident she could take another inch. Strangely, she seems to have more limits with my girth. At least early on. And I don’t feel girthy at all at 4.9/5”.

Thanks for all the good comment, guys! :)

No, a larger penis was never intended to be a solution. My penis is plenty large enough for her.

As for keeping the relationship - the thing is that SHE’s happy without sex. I honestly think she doesn’t miss it. That’s how it seems and pretty much what she says too. She’s just not a very sexual person. Or maybe I didn’t bring it out in her?

So, if I want to keep this relationship I do not think I have to fix anything as she seems happy this way. The question is more if I would want to stay in a relationship that’s void of sex and if there really is a solution to it at all.

Imagine if she didn’t need sex with you because it’s happening elsewhere? Imagine if she didn’t need or want sexual attention because she gets your emotional attention and she knows you won’t leave her.

Guys can’t adjust to the fact some women don’t want sex often. It’s sad you’d suggest she’s getting it someplace else.

Grow up!

You see once she is controlling her man and has familiarity she won’t see a need to have sex with him anymore. She figures he won’t go anywhere.

My wife knows I’m going nowhere, I’ve repeatedly made it clear to her. She knows that I love her more than anything.

We had sex this morning, last night and the morning before. I will have sex with her again tonight and most likely tomorrow morning and tomorrow night. It’s been this way since we met fifteen years ago.

I will cook her breakfast tomorrow morning along with probably helping out with some laundry.

Marriage, love and giving has not slowed us down. We fuck regularly. Kids don’t slow us down.

She’s a horny woman, sexually I have met my equal. She appreciates our team effort in supporting each other both emotionally and physically around the house. It’s simply more efficient and productive to move beyond gender roles and just do the work needed to raise a family together. In helping eachother throughout the day we now have more energy for sex at the end of the day.

It’s a team effort. No games, just a good fit and a shit load of mutual appreciation.

No need for games, just need to find your equal.

Is she on birth control? This can cause a lot of women to lose the desire from what I’ve been told.

My two cents:
I think you know what you got to do. As you said you have a long term relationship with her, you give her emotional support, you have a busy life, but when you two are together she show no interest, she does not contribute for the relationship, you know what you got to do. End this relationship and move on to the next, the next is always better.

Let her live with other man, because if there is one thing in this world you know is that she isn’t interested in you, and you know it. You already have a busy life, you wanna go home and be with a cold hearted person alongside you to give you more psychological problems and doubts? Or with a woman that will support and give all the love and sex you want?

Imagine if she didn’t need sex with you because it’s happening elsewhere?

Imagine if she didn’t need or want sexual attention because she gets your emotional attention and she knows you won’t leave her.

Strangely while she thought she had zero libido it comes back alive in the presense of men who’d NEVER submit to her.

It’s not. 100 % guaranteed.

Maybe I’d considered it if she were spending a lot of time partying (she doesn’t drink) or with ‘friends’, but no. She’s pretty much around all the time.

That’s possible. I think she gets what she wants out of the relationship. The biggest part is emotional support and helping her with stuff.

Define submit.

I consider myself an alpha male and I’ve had many girls prior to this one. I picked up this girl very directly in broad daylight. We f**ked like rabbits for the 1st 2 years of our relationships.

At some point it just stopped happening.

I don’t think I’ve changed in any way. But I’ve been very busy working way too much and that’s why I’ve accepted this lack of sex. Being tired I would still have energy for sex, but no energy to try and persuade someone to it. And having sex with someone who does not seem to want it themselves doesn’t do that much for me anyway.

What is the age of these women discussed here? Reason I ask is because they might be getting low in estrogen due to possible onset of menopause. My wife just had to deal with this and she’s barely 45. Cancer and chemotherapy related. Last year in the spring she just started to get “irritated” during sex. And guys, we have been fuck champions our whole 21 year history together. We were just getting into new sex toys and new positions and sexual mysticism and all kinds of stuff and out of the blue she started complaining that lube was burning or stinging. She’d bear with it and let it keep going because she was cumming (and cumming and cumming she’s a superior multi-Oer always has been) and I liked it, but she suffered discomfort. Well two months later in May 2019 it just started to straight up hurt from time to time. At that point she had not had her period for two months, but she’s been hit or miss the last 5 years due to her past cancer treatments. Starting about November she was still not having periods but the sex got strangely and freakily good, like I was fucking her as hard as I possibly can and she loved every thrust of it and wanted more. So so wet too. But it lasted like a week and then it went straight to pain town. Every time I entered her my cock would just go straight up limp, it was not feeling good at all. Super dry, no lube would help. By Christmas we had not done it at all in a month and there wasn’t anything we could do about it. She lost interest to get off on her own too, which was rare for her. She loves to masturbate and cums like a wild banshee in the shower (using the shower head to edge to what she calls “heart chakra orgasms” my god this woman, what a woman), and was using that super power O to warm up for sex for a while before this. But she didn’t even want to cum anymore. All spring was like this. We tried to have sex twice in 3 months and it was horrible. Crying, hugging, confusion, the pits. Finally after a year of no periods she could see an ob/gyn about menopause.

The Imvexxy vaginal insert is what is saving my wife right now! Extremely low dose estrogen. Really low. But it delivers it right into the vaginal tissue. Now she’s so wet she needs to wear pads! Its nuts. Her vaginal muscle tone is back, color is back, taste is incredible now, and her vaginal issues are completely gone. She had to dilate with dildos smaller than an inch around to start getting things going again, her doc told her she’s got some atrophy. She worked on it and moved on up (we have dozens of sex toys through years and years so pretty much all girths are covered with no new purchases LOL) to something not yet as big as me in about 8 weeks of work on it.

I’m 7.75”ish BPEL and 5.3” girth. I had to quit pumping early July so I could be “as small as possible” for her. When I pump like I had been the last two years or so I’m up to 8” most of the time and almost 5.5” girth. Why be bigger when she can’t take me not at my biggest?! I will say that our first time back to trying sex was completely surreal and magical, wonderful all that shit. Crying our eyes out, laughing, talking, it was insane. We’ve had sex 3 times now and it feels like she’s in her 20s again. She feels way more sexy than she has in years. Just her whole attitude is better. This super tiny dose of estrogen is bringing the woman back out of her and she’s benefiting big time!

So, if any of you guys are facing menopause or the beginning symptoms of it, growing your cock might be counterproductive to sex if you want to have sex still. I hope I get to start pumping again soon, maybe just once a month or something. But I don’t want to lose the sex while we are getting it back.