BTC Comfort at Last!

Inspired by talk of CaptnHook’s “Captn’s Bench” but never having seen it, I set out yesterday to construct a chair that was suitable for comfortably hanging BTC for long periods of time while working at my computer.

Comfort is important, especially as I’m planning to log hours upon hours of hang time. Perhaps even more important is the need to effectively multi-task.

Here’s what I did. I went to Staples and bought the chair shown in the attachment FoldingChair.jpg. A slightly padded, folding chair. It was about $23. You can get the unpadded version for under $9, but I don’t recommend it.

I took it home, sat on it, thought about where my balls sat on the chair, and mentally marked the spot. Then came the fun part.

I pulled off the upholstered seat cover. This was easy to do with a long screwdriver. The seat cover was attached to a steel seat underneath using push-on fasteners. These disengaged, while still holding together, after a firm yank. The seat cover had a Masonite layer, with foam and fabric on top.

The steel of the seat was thin enough to submit to my sheet metal snippers, and I went to work removing metal. I cut out a bullet-shaped hole, with the round part of the “bullet” pointing toward the back of the seat. The top part of the bullet reached almost to the very front of the seat. Overall the area I removed was about 4.5” wide by about 7 or 8” long. This area was a little bigger than what I needed for my Bib Hanger and unit to freely hang straight down.

Next (safety first), I went to work with my vice grips to fold over the edges of cut sheet metal, to round all the edges. When I was finished, there were no sharp edges remaining that I could cut myself on. I covered the turned over edges and any rough spots with duct tape. See MetalSeat.jpg for a really bad drawing of the reworked seat.

Then I went to work on the seat cover. I placed the seat cover lightly over the steel seat, and drew a pencil shape inside the metal cutout region on the underside of the seat cover. The pencil marks were 1/4 to 1/2” within the edges of the metal opening, which I hope will provide even more protection from any sharp edges.

I cut through the Masonite layer with a Dremel tool, and removed a similar “bullet” of Masonite. I sanded down the cut edges of the Masonite. Then, with a scissors, I cut the padding and fabric lengthwise straight down the middle. I also made a cross-wise cut through the fabric at the front and back of the seat, to approximate the shape of a trap door. Then I put the seat cover back on by engagin the press-on fasteners. The appearance of the finished seat is shown in another really bad drawing, SeatCover.jpg

I think this chair is very suitable for the job. Importantly, it has not cross-support in the front, which means the weight has nothing to bang into.

I tried this out yesterday, and I was very pleased with the results. It’s very comfortable, and working while hanging is a breeze. Just don’t forget that you are attached the chair!

To operate (if that’s the right word), sit in the chair, wrap and apply hanger. Drop the attached hanger down through the trap door. Reach under the front of the chair and apply your weights. Then just sit back and let the weight do the work.

If I put my feet under the chair, I find I can easily change the angle by pushing the weights around. A very good BTC stretch can be achieved by pushing the weights back a bit with my feet. I can also easily increase or decrease the weight, by either pushing down on the weight or pulling up.

If you look straight down while the weight is attached, you can easily see through the “trap door” to observe or make adjustments. There’s enough room to reach straight through. I also found that the space in the trap door in front of the hanger is just the right size for holding my rice sock. I just kind of stuff it down there, and the edges of the door hold the rice sock firmly against my ligs.

Please don’t believe for a second that this is safe! THIS DESIGN COMES WITH NO WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND! If you make this chair and use it, be prepared to take necessary precautions to prevent your dick from being pulled off! Please be careful!

Now, if the penis fairy would only grant me one wish …

Nice work MM. BTC is a bitch to be comfortable in and still be productive, but it looks like you got it:) Can you work on a recliner version for me? ;)

What about a mod for my Suburban? I see a new business opportunity unfolding here.

One hung lo beat me to it.

I was going to ask for a version for my Jaguar. Maybe drill a hole thru the seat and the floor boards?

Neat. You could probably rig a pulley somewhere at the rear of the chair to get even more of a BTC angle while sitting straight up.

I think in a Suburban or Jaguar, this arrangement would be referred to as a “supplemental restraint.”

Hobby, I naturally tuck my feet under my chair anyway, especially with a chair this low to the ground. Pushing back on the weights with the feet is really enough for a good BTC stretch. No pulley needed.

Besides, I’m already going to have enough trouble explaining this contraption to my wife. :)

Can’t wait for the details on that one! Maybe something like those new bicycle seats with the relief cut in them to relieve pressure?

Maybe we could pitch a show based on this to the Discovery channel?

“Monster Penis Garage”

Or MTV

“PE my ride”

I can hear it now. My wife says to my son, “Honey, could you please bring down a bridge chair for Grandma?”

One more thought on this hanging chair, which just occurred to me. You can get a good stretch from your golf/PE weights while sitting just by letting them hang through the trap door. Many people complain that golf/PE weights do them no good because they spend so much of their time sitting.

On the other hand, if you have the privacy to sit in a chair as embarrassing as this one, you probably should just be hanging.

Hey what about taking a toilet seat and working with that, you got the hole right there…right there…the thought of metal and sharp edges right around the way, even though I know you have it well protected, don’t entice me, you may have just created the Bobbit Chair. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…no really um…seems like a toilet seat might get a little uncomfortable, but they make them padded. Cant necessarily hang while on the toilet…the weights would get wet….geez people…think!

OK. Try this. Get a chair with a removable seat. Take off the seat and bolt on your padded toilet seat. Voila! Reverse Kegels would be a breeze. Just don’t forget not to shit.

HAHAHAHAHA!!

I could just see waking up in the morning after a night of heavy drinking just to find that you were so drunk you used your PE chair to take a shit

Just tell your wife you got it at a garage sale really cheap years ago because you needed the chair for (fill in the blank) and you don’t know what the hole is for.