Gains when I least expected it...

Howdy folks: well, here’s a kicker: Last week I was hanging a normal session (3 sets of 20 min. at 17.5 lbs, to which I’d moved from 15lbs. only the week before) when I injured my penis slightly: I first noticed the injury as raised “rings” around the circ-scar aread — almost as though two rubber bands had been wrapped aound my dick under the skin.

(Note: it’s possible the “rings” were merely indentations from the theraband wrapping, and unrelated to what came next — hard to tell).

Didn’t think much of it, until I noticed, in between these “bands,” a darkening bump. Immediately I realized I’d broken a small blood vessel, and that my hanging was over then and there.

Later the break smoothed out, and the dark spot spread out to be about the size of the fingernail on my pinky. No pain at all, and sexual function that night was normal (since it was dark, my partner never saw it).

Anyway, it has since cleared up completely, which I assume means my body found a way to flush away the blood spot, and repaired the vessel. But here’s the killer: Two days ago I got erect and measured for the first time in awhile, mostly to ascertain how much ground I’d “lost” because of the injury rest-time, and because of my often frustrated attempts at PE (see my other post). And lo and behold, I got to the 7.5 mark on a (very) bone-pressed ruler. So, a breakthrough!

Too bad there are so many variables in all this — I’m trying to eliminate them one by one (wrapping style, weight, wrapping location, etc) so I have a sense of what works. I do note, however, that the injury happened while I was hanging nearer to the head than usual. I guess I have this idea that just ligament-stretch won’t do it, and that the mysterious tunica needs to be stretched too, which I’m not sure happens when I hang higher up.

Anyway, grateful for the slow gains, but wishing I understood this dark art a bit better. Thanks to all on this board for insights and advice. Keep at it, folks! I will if you will.

Gopher9

Gopher9,

>(Note: it’s possible the “rings” were merely indentations from the theraband wrapping, and unrelated to what came next — hard to tell). <

Yes, that is fairly normal. I used to get them.

>Anyway, it has since cleared up completely, which I assume means my body found a way to flush away the blood spot, and repaired the vessel. But here’s the killer: Two days ago I got erect and measured for the first time in awhile, mostly to ascertain how much ground I’d “lost” because of the injury rest-time, and because of my often frustrated attempts at PE (see my other post). And lo and behold, I got to the 7.5 mark on a (very) bone-pressed ruler. So, a breakthrough! <

Congratulations. So how much is that? I mean total gain, and gain from hanging?

>I do note, however, that the injury happened while I was hanging nearer to the head than usual. I guess I have this idea that just ligament-stretch won’t do it, and that the mysterious tunica needs to be stretched too, which I’m not sure happens when I hang higher up. <

You may not get as much stress toward the head, but you will get a good amount. Let me just say, I always was concerned with getting too much stress toward the head. Mainly because I had much less girth toward the head (most of the time). It seemed to me to be much more difficult to get stress on the tissues toward the base. Therefore, I always liked the longer hangers that attached on the shaft more toward the base.

>Anyway, grateful for the slow gains, but wishing I understood this dark art a bit better. Thanks to all on this board for insights and advice. Keep at it, folks! I will if you will. <

Hell, let me know if and when you understand it any better. I surely don’t know it all (or much).

Bigger

I too had a busy week, so I did the passive wrap and reverted back to my hot tub A.M. squeeze and stretch routines rather than my usual hang and uli thing stuff. Lo and behold, the “rest” week solidified the past few months of variable gain teases. Rest is best—for me anyway. Yet, I am loath to take any time off as I am a terminal perfectionist and obsessed PE’er. Catholic guilt residue ya know, the nuns taught me persistance and endurance—Thanks Sister Vitolda.

vivace,

Long time, no write. Good to see your name.

Of course I must ask. How is the ignore thing going?

Bigger

Hey guys,

My experience with the ignore went horrible awry. I didn’t get shit for 3 months and it looked like it was gong to last for an eternity. So finally, we had a big talk about it (my emotional needs, etc.) and so she fucked me that night. So, I have been trying to play it cool again since then and now another month has passed with NOTHING!!!

Bigger, I’m glad the ignore thing worked for you and I hope it works for Vivace, but I am not a fan of this idea.

respectfully,
Hugeness. (frustrated and horny)

Huge,

>My experience with the ignore went horrible awry. I didn’t get shit for 3 months and it looked like it was gong to last for an eternity. So finally, we had a big talk about it (my emotional needs, etc.) and so she fucked me that night. So, I have been trying to play it cool again since then and now another month has passed with NOTHING!!!<

What did you say in the big talk? That was the opportunity. It sounds like you got one pity fuck, not a lifestyle change. You may have to go for a long long time with nothing to make another impression. But what the hell, you weren’t getting anything to begin with right?

I’d rather be a hammer, than a nail.

Bigger

Pity fuck you say… now you got me pissed off you little shit!! Why couldn’t it have been an overt act of love designed to meet the emotional needs of a man whom she loves dearly, but she is dealing with some issues that make her uninterested in sex right now? Huh, answer me that Mr. smart-ass know-it-all!!!!

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding… I am just pissed that you nailed the damn thing for what it was. DAMN YOU BIGGER… YOU HAVE RUINED THE ONLY SEX I HAVE HAD IN ALMOST SIX MONTHS.

Respectfully,
Hugeness.

Huge,

>DAMN YOU BIGGER… YOU HAVE RUINED THE ONLY SEX I HAVE HAD IN ALMOST SIX MONTHS. <

heh, sorry, I did not realize you were still orgasming. I can never do that and type at the same time.

>Why couldn’t it have been an overt act of love designed to meet the emotional needs of a man whom she loves dearly, but she is dealing with some issues that make her uninterested in sex right now? <

Oh yeah. I remember now. But I said then that if it is something like that or a physical problem, the ignore thing will not work. No need for it anyway. When the other issues are resolved, hopefully everything will be ok. If not, then you can go to the ignore.

Times like these, women (or men) appreciate the ‘space’. Just ride it out and be there when she needs you.

Oh, and I’m not a little shit. I’m a big shit.

Bigger

Bib Sex Therapy and Car Wash (no waiting)

Heres a little peptalk for you,

SHEs the prey, YOURE the predator. Your goal is TO HAVE GOOD SEX with her, what you dont realise is that her goal probably is the same. She just dont know how to get there, believe me all normal human beings want to have GOOD SEX, and for the girls part most want it in a good relationship.

Now your goal is to please her in everyway you can to make her feel good, that way it will be easier for her to give you good sex without feeling shes cheap or being used.

If you constantly make her feel good, by doing things for her, saying sweet things to her, she will feel that she has to do something in return, shell WANT to do something in return. Dont be to happy if she gives you physical presents, thats NOT what you want. Say thank you give her a little kiss, thats it, let her know thats NOT what you want.

This is important, call or message her once a day, see her at least a couple of times a week if possible, that will make her feel that youre “into her life” not just an ego who wants sex from a girl how happens to be near her, ask if she been talking to others, call her spontaneous to spy on her and ask where she is and what she has been doing. Thatll make her feel wanted and atractive, dont give to much information away on what you been doing yourself, thatll make her wonder if youve been courting other females. Soon shell come around and WANT to have GOOD SEX with you.

Remember if she doesnt fall for this treatment alot of other girls would love to have it, some are waiting their whole life for it to come around. Basically thats what most girls really want. To feel “hunted”, precious and atractive. Now your goal is to make her feel that way, and shell pay you back because she dont wanna lose the way you make feel.

Also this might work, forget your pride and ego, your not the handsome one, even if you are, SHE is, youre LUCKY to be with such an atractive girl.

If you hurt her feelings, tell her that youre an idiot, that youre sorry, that youll never do anything like it again (more important really dont). This behaviour does not take away your PREDATOR status, you can instantly turn back into the predator that is strong if you must, but give it a rest if she sad. Showing a touchy, gentle side of yourself and showing her that youre weak when shes hurt, will make her bond strongly with you.

Now back to the start, YOURE the predator, SHES the prey, you dont want her doubting that youre the strongest and best suited for leading the relationship. She just has to accept what youre offering her.

Most important dont let these roles switch, if they are switch now, turn it around and change the picture, starting as soon as you can. Expect to spend time on it, your time is the most precious thing you can give her.

My current girl friend was a virgin when i met her, she wanted to be a nun and didnt want any children. Now 7 months after i met her all she talks about is having children, getting married and the future, thats even though she only 20 and about to start a major education.

Ill probably end up marrying her someday, she really is a knockout :)

Now, hugeness, dont say you dont have support on this board, i wanna hear how it goes and when you get some, perhaps its not going to be with her, when you start waking up you might wanna go for better, who knows :)

avr82big,

Thanks for taking the time to show me some support. Since I’m married, not everything you say applies to me, but the overall theme is great!!

I’m going to go hunt me some poontang damnit!!!!

Hugeness.

I really understand Hugeness. For me things got slightly better because I let down my silent treatment during the holidays for the kids. THis rewarded me with two morning 5 minute missionary charity fucks, which I could tell she wanted over quick. One was passionate, I thought, but the second was the same and clearly a get this over quick. Both took place in my office where I am sleeping. She refuses to let her guard down cause of the kids, so our bedroom door is never closed, Now, I don’t like morning sex as much (all sex is terrific) cause the breath and no kissing is anti climactic. SO I mistook her signal as a life change…not so fast, I touched her , unaware of the beginning of her period and she nearly ripped my arm off batting it away. THat was two weeks ago. Last thursday I said I was going to attack her that evening and she replied “Fat Chance”. and walked away. Some would say ,,mmmm , alluring, Nope, THis set me off on the seperate room silent treatment jag again to date. I have tried just about every thing…SHe is so nice every AM, and is trying to start conversations all the time, I ignore herr as I am totally sick and tired of the no sex thing since we had our last kid 10 years ago. A Vacectomy , new house, I do the dishes now, and clearn all the bathrooms weekly, the check is hers..What have I done to myself. Still feel like I have to beg for any attention away from anyone or anything. I am not on her top ten list of things to do, ever..I do believe I am pissed. I use to rage about every 4 weeks or so. She got in the habit of ignoring and knowing I would apologize.—no kiss and makeup , not ever. Now I go to the library and read marriage books to calm down. and change the rage pattern. The sweet guy thing did nothing but make her think I was weak and added expertise in toilet cleaning to my resume. I think it is coming on 2 years since I started to fix this. PE timing precisely. I am about ready to give up. The hope of improvement in the marriage is waning. I have two kids. the research shows divorce is horrible for kids…So NOw what???

Hey guys,

Do you mind if I split the Car Wash posts off of this thread and into a new one? I have the feeling this is going to be a long one. :D

Vivace,

first off, I’m sorry to hear about your troubles at the home front.

I got a couple of questions for you, though.

You said “no sex for the last ten years”. Have you gotten some somwhere else in that period? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to offend you but it is unlikely that a man can go without sex for an prolonged period of time. Maybe she knows, if you did get something on the side.

Have you considered and talked about marriage counseling? For the sake of the kids, I’d grab her by the hair and pull her down to his/hers (marriage counselor) office to get the things solved or at least to get things rolling.

Just a thought.

I am embarrassed to say, our average per year was about 6 times over the past ten years. One year, none. There were the kids, then lots of deaths in her family. Thanks for clarifying my thoughts, cause I thought this was pretty shitty too, I must love her. We got along well, Just over booked. We are a great looking, fun couple and popular, so the social scene kept us somewhat talking and alive. Okay so, our youngest kid slept in our bed for 8 years—now ten. I hated this. She had some sleep problems through infancy and ADHD big time. Turns out it was a severe wheat allergy we did not know about. Now under control. It was tough. PE helped me jump start my libido, but she just told me she is sick of the change and wants it back the way it was. How does one put the toothpaste back in the tube? After my last post tonight , she refused to talk to me. Said not on a tuesday I flared up and. I told her I was out of here in May. I went to the library again. Perused a new marriage book. Came home and Just finished telling her that the ball was in her court. That until she was ready to really discuss this and set up a time with me (she has refused for about 2 years) that I would respect her space but remain totally incommunicado. I wonder how long she will take. She really looked stressed out. The drastic stuff has begun. She told me that I was selfish..I told her that no sex or communication gets to a guy over 10 years. I see 6 times as no sex. funny how time flys and relationships can disappear right in front of your nose. Sorry to bore you. Hopefully it has a happy ending. Thanks Bib.

viv,

Well, you know you did not follow the ignore rules laid out on the other forum. Might be hard to follow up on what has transpired. I am sure it just got to tough after you moved to the office and what have you.

I kind of felt like you were not going to have the right attitude. You have to ‘not care’ about sex and really mean it.

Now, if you are serious about not wanting to stay in the marriage (in this manner), you have to follow through. Do as others said and require the counseling etc., or there is no hope for a ‘normal’ marriage. She has broken the marriage contract, so you have every right to break the marriage.

Good luck and Godspeed,

Bigger