Pumping Alternative

Throw your pumps away gents! I found a new way, to get a lasting pump, without the expense!

Procedure: This is very simple. Just run around the corner, of a building, straight into a scaffolding pipe. Make sure the pipe is crotch high and hits your penis at the base. (You don’t need to worry about your LOT). Within two minutes, your dick will be the size of a red delicious apple and about the same color! Talk about girth! Yes, this pe is very intense but doesn’t require any brains, warm- up or any messy lube. Not recommended for newbies!

Seriously, I did this two days ago. It was extremely painful but the look on the nurse’s face was unforgettable. Wifey is sad now.

Gee, claw. It sounds so easy.

Can you go over that one more time just a little slower.

Thanks for all your help. I cant wait to start this one. Just think I was going to spend money on a pump.

789

Hey Clawhammer:

Similiar situation happened to me except I was using a chainsaw and cut through a Poison Oak Vine and thru chip down my pants—It was October and I didn’t even have a shirt on. For a week I was never more proud of an 8” fat cock. Wife still talks about it. Oh well, everyone will have 15minutes of fame—Warhol.

Still a great story—Steve

A very similar thing happened to me as a little kid, about 8 or so.

I was walking through the park with my dad and my brother on an absolutely pitch black night. The lights in the park weren’t working and we couldn’t see anything at all. Then my father had the brilliant idea that us boys “needed some exercise!” and proceeded to make us run with him. Nevermind the fact that his legs were much longer than ours and that we had to sprint in order to keep up with his jogging. Nevermind that I couldn’t see a blessed thing.

But we ran.

Then, all of a sudden and all at once -

BLINDING PAIN.

I’d crashed groin-first into a metal pipe that was sticking up from the ground. If I’d had been taller it would have passed harmlessly between my legs, but alas.

This thing got my whole goddamn 8 year old groin - penis and balls. It was, literally, the worst physical pain I can ever remember being in. I mean, I had sprinted full tilt into this thing, and it was made out of unyeilding metal, and there was no cushioning at all to break the impact - my groin was the only part of my body that hit it, and all I had on was light pants and my tighty-whiteys.

It was horrible.

But my dick and balls are still here and they still work. I often wonder “what if the object I crashed into had been sharp or pointed?” But it wasn’t. So I guess I was “lucky.”

Unfortunately, I never did measure the swelling.