Happypill's journey

It’s been a while since I last reported anything. I have been on a break for just over a week now and all I got from that was… nothing. No new gains from rest or anything, although, I didn’t expect much from it to be fair. My EQ has not been the rock hard little corn dog it can be during these breaks, something I am really sad about if I’m honest since I wanted the best possible erection when I measured. I haven’t gained anything since I last measured. I started my session again earlier and it went well I would say. Since I haven’t got the EQ that I want right now it feels like I am missing some small gain because it shows the same, or close to the same, as it did when I last measured. So maybe if I got Dwayne The Rock Johnson hard, maybe then I could see a gain of sorts.

Today’s session:

15 minutes warmup with rice sock
50 jelqs
5 x 10 sec 440’s
50 jelqs
5 x 10 sec 440’s
50 jelqs
5 x 10 sec 440’s
50 jelqs
15 minutes elastic penis ring and warmth from rice sock.

I think I will continue with these two routines I’m on currently and not change anything for a while. Although, I want to learn to stretch manually, eventually even get an extender, but I kind of don’t want to spend much money on it either… I don’t know. I feel stretching is difficult. I can never stay completely flaccid during and this makes me very frustrated.

Well, hopefully tomorrow’s session will be even better than this one. Peace!

Yesterday’s session was okay. I don’t know where my EQ has gone tbh. It is not rock like it used to. This is also after more than a week off, would think it would come back a bit. It’s not like it is super low but it’s still less than it usually is. I think I might just keep going like I am but maybe only cum once a week.

Yesterday’s session:
15 minutes warmup with rice sock
50 jelqs
10 minutes clamping
50 jelqs
10 minutes clamping
50 jelqs
30 minutes pumping
15 minutes warm-down with penis ring while erect and warmth from rice sock. Continued having the ring on for an hour or two while flaccid. Don’t know if it does anything other than making it look the way I dream it would without it, oh well.

I think I will skip rest day today and just go for an easy jelq + pump routine, nothing too insane, but just to do something, kind of feels like I need it.

I was going to write down my session from yesterday but when I saw my last post I noticed that I don’t even know if I had a session the day after the extra workout day. This makes it a bit difficult logging what I’ve done the past couple days. I know I had a session yesterday… Either way, I might have done a few workouts in a row without rest.
What I do know is that I tried erect jelqs combined with pumping. I did 100 erect jelqs at about 90-100%. Not sure if they do much for the gains though. It went well and I didn’t feel much different than usual. Also the pumping part went a bit better because this time it didn’t pull my scrotum in the tube for once. I will have today as a rest day and start going again tomorrow.

Lately I have also had the feeling that I’m not gaining anything… I feel small and all the bad things one might feel. I gained a decent amount when I really started going at it 2-3 months back but it now feels like it doesn’t anymore. Maybe it’s just me being silly even though I know gains take time, but having those early fast gains gave me hope that the rest that I wanted would come as fast. Things might pick up going forward and it’s just me being silly thinking I will gain massively in a much to short time frame.

I haven’t been logging my workouts very well these past few weeks. It comes down to me doing something I would rather be doing than PE and then forgetting about it for a day or so. Today is a rest day but I did my sessions like I should these past two days prior to today. I had to stop mid workout on the first day because I had other engagements. I continued what I had left from that workout onto the workout the day after and thus making that session a bit longer.

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I have this feeling that my gains have stagnated. I need to stop thinking like that because I know the gains wont come over night. I gained a decent amount since the new year started but I still feel like I should have more, or that it just stopped. Am I overdoing my workouts? Should I maybe not go as hard as I am? It feels like I’m not overdoing it but what do I know? Or could I even be doing more to improve gains? Lots of questions in my head that I want answered but can’t. It’s nice just writing it all down just to get it all out. Could make for some good motivation in the future looking back.

That’s it, just wanted to share. Peace out \m/

Bad EQ today from yesterday’s cum session. Managed to squeeze out 1 set of 440’s but I decided to skip the rest, do 100 more jelqs, 150 in total, and then pump for 25 minutes instead. Went well and I will continue with the rest of this session tomorrow.

Peace out

Been having a few days off. I am painting a house for a family friend to earn some extra cash in these difficult times. Back home now due to it raining so I thought I would get back to PE.

Yesterday I did half a session pretty much, was really tired so only managed 2 sets of 440’s and 150 jelqs + pumping. Did the remaining set of 440’s now in a set of 100 jelqs and pumping. I think I will do a double session today, just felt like doing a quick one now and then have my main session tonight.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I feel small, like I’m not gaining and such. It gets really frustrating thinking like this and it is taking its toll on the mind honestly. I feel like I have measured wrong when measuring girth in specific, but I can’t be sure because my EQ is fluctuating which makes it hard to determine if the size I have now is the real one or if it’s the cause of lowered EQ. I can get 100% hard but it still feels like something is missing, really strange and hard to explain in a better way. It also feels like I’m not gaining anymore even though I thought I had found my holy grail for girth, maybe I was mistaken, or maybe I measured wrong from the start and my gains are much less than what I thought them to be. I could remeasure and have the current stats as my starting stats, but it feels so disappointing when I worked so hard to get to where I am (or where I thought I had come).

It’s nice to write down one’s thought just to get it out and re-read them later, and also for people to take part and talk if they want.

It’s been a while..

This past year has put me through hell and it felt like torture. I have been depressed since I was like 14-15 or so, not acknowledging it until I was in my 20’s. This year it got to a point where a situation made me crash and it just broke me completely. Quit my job because I just couldn’t handle it and I also called it quits with my best friend which was the main protagonist to my downfall if you want to call it that. I was in bed for almost 2 months straight and just couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t sleep. Depressed and lots of anxiety made life just way too difficult. I managed to do what I never thought I would manage to do and that was to seek proper help. Took me 2 weeks before I got to talk to someone and those 2 weeks were likely the most difficult in my life. Never felt so bad. Shortly after my session I contacted a doctor to get medicine prescribed and I have since taken it and I feel so much better. Life is in pieces still but I feel like I can manage another try to get it back in place. It’s a long road to get there but I’m confident that I will get there just as long as I can get over the first little hoop I have as a first step to recovering my life in some way.

I think with me having depression on and off for years my EQ and PE suffered a lot. I had a hard time getting hard at times a day or so after I came, and now I just feel like I can go all the time. It makes me wonder how much negative effects that stuff had not just on my mental health but also my physical.

This past month or so I have been getting back into things after having moved back to my parents. Being careful with privacy of course. I haven’t done PE for the better part of this year due to the crisis and also an injury that I think was a lymph vessel that was very stubborn. Now after a few months it seems to be basically gone, not at all as present as before. I take that as a sign to start slow and get back into things. Like I said I started a month or two ago and I have only been doing jelqs and pumping. Hopefully I can get back proper and get some gains going.

My routine:

*15 minutes warmup with heatpad from totalman
*12 minutes jelq
*15 minute pump - gone from 3-4inHg to 5 consistently this past month
*10-12 minutes jelq
*20-30 minutes pump
I use the heatpad around the pump, don’t know if it does much of a difference but it doesn’t hurt. I’m also using a 1 inch piece of that rubber tube you get from totalman when you buy the hanging product. Don’t know what it is called. I cut it into a smaller piece so it’s like a cock ring. I use it when I pump, maybe it doesn’t do anything but it doesn’t hurt either. Suggestions are welcome if you guys know if it’s a good idea or just unnecessary. Any tips for more gains are welcome, always happy to learn.

My goal has always been 7.3”/7.5” NBPEL and 5.5” MSEG. I think it is a very good goal that is neither too big or small, but big enough to be considered big. Currently my size is a bit up in the air. Last I measured I pushed the ruler into my fatpad and it measured about 18.5/18.8cm (7.28” - 7.4”) BPEL. And that is really pushed in there. Girth is probably around 12.7 cm - 12.9 cm (5”~), thereabouts. My fatpad is atleast and inch to an inch and a half and it really sucks major balls, so I am going to try and get my diet in order so I might be able to lose a few pounds. I would like to be around 85kg as a goal, and I am at 104kg as of right now I believe. Been gaining 6-8kg during my depression and the aftermath so goal is to try and get back on track with that stuff again and get some fat off.

I’m not going to drag this out much more, but I would really like to get some advice that you think I should incorporate that could be beneficial to my growth. Appreciate it boys!

Stay happy!

When I was going that something similar all they had were downers. I lose a couple of years with that. As in, I remember nothing whatsoever. Before, yes. After, yes. Doped up, no. I don’t even know if the dope helped.

Modern meds are *much* better, but you need to keep track of any side effects. A daily journal or diary with just a few words each day can be a big help; it’s easy for things to change so gradually you’re not aware of it. You might need your dose adjusted or your med changed from time to time.

Looks good to me. I’ve recently added jelqing to my own routine, doing it after heated pumps, with the idea that I could take advantage of a thoroughly warmed shaft that way. But your way is OK too.

First time ever trying the meds and I was told I was going to feel like proper shit the coming month, but fortunately I didn’t get that side effect, probably due to the calming meds I got to keep it somewhat manageable. I haven’t had any dips in my mood whatsoever, just the normal mad or sad feeling, nothing that would be considered as depression really. Anxiety is not really there either. I am happy with the result as I can actually think without my mind being clouded by a hundred other thoughts running rampant.

Sweet! I have always liked jelqing and will probably always have it in my routines. I just want to try and make my routine as good as possible. Anything to make it better in some way I will gladly try. I’m thinking of upping the pressure while pumping maybe. I want to reach that specific goal in the tube that I just can’t reach at 5 inHg. I usually go to 6-7-8 inHg the last 5 minutes just to reach that goal, and above if possible. But pumping at a fixed inHg would feel more beneficial. I might be wrong and maybe I should stay at 5hg, but I just feel like I don’t get much out of it at the moment. I haven’t seen the size in the tube move anything since I got to 18.5cm. I want to get to 19cm and then 20cm, but like I said, I feel like I need to up the main hg to 6-7 or something in order to get there and then just do the same the last 5 minutes that I do now.