Bigbear's Porn Detox Diary

Hey guys,

I’ve returned from my holiday in Australia (been back for about 2 weeks now) and been trying to readjust into my normal daily routines. I don’t know whats happened to me in the time that I’ve been away but I’m finding it extremely difficult to bring my self to continue with my Newbie Routine that I started in January.

I keep finding myself watching and masturbating to porn more than I ever have, which I find weird seeing as I have just spent a month with my gf after not seeing her for 4 months. So I’m jacking off to porn nearly 3 times a night, totally losing sleep and making me skip work etc. I’m doing it during the day too. I have movies stored on my ipod which I’ve used at work to get off at lunch time. Its starting to get ridiculous now.

Oh and my premature ejaculation situation has gotten worse than ever.

So as from today I am putting a stop to this.

NO MORE PORN FOR THE BEAR. Hopefully I can get back into pe’ing again.

Day 1 starts tomorrow as I have ejaculated 3 times today already to Porn.
I will be adding to this thread everyday as a means to keep me in this frame of mind.

Fingers crossed eh?

You have my support.

Good luck!

Thanks BigFatLuvRocket!

(Mods feel free to move this if you feel I sidetrack too much)

Its been a hard day (or not!)

Day #1
So I woke up this morning with the biggest hardon as usual and went the extra mile by leaving my laptop downstairs so that I wouldn’t be tempted to reach for it first thing in the morning. It was working well so far. Got about my business, went to work as usual. Feeling kinda horny but I had work to keep me and my addicted mind preoccupied. Until I opened up a guitar flightcase and found a few erotic playing cards. Just my frickin’ luck. So I’m opening up various flightcases and finding more cards, displaying all kinds of girls in precarious positions accepting cumshots in all available holes.

For about 20 minutes I was paranoid that maybe someone on thunders had busted my guise and had been hiding at my workplace, waiting to play horrible tricks on me. (No thanks to the twisted neural pathways that my brain decides to navigate itself through)

Turns out the bands tech’s thought it would be funny to throw said cards in the flightcases as they packed the gear down at last nights show. The Bar stewards. It has to be said however, that theres something not quite right about early 90’s porn. I can’t put my finger on it but it just looks so bad.

I’ve got home, just got off the phone to Mrs Bear as she is on her way to work and I’ve told her about my porn detox which she commended me on although I think she may be worried that I might lose my sex drive. Not that is matters much cos the drive never lasts long in my big black caddilac ;) So she wouln’t be missing much!

I’m sat here on the computer typing this out pondering my own sanity. Can I really go through with this? Do I have the ambition to rid myself of this addictive trait that I have knowingly relied on for so long?
I know it’s not a big problem. It could be worse. I could be suffering from substance abuse. I am thinking that Porn has definately warped and twisted my sexual imagination, especially in regards to my approach with Women, both sexually and otherwise. I’ve never been one for self loathing but right now I just feel like a total dickhead. I’ve needed to release all day but I’m denying myself this basic instinctive requisite because I can’t seem to execute said maneouvre without the visual clarity that porn brings. Maybe Bart Simpson was right. If TV and the internet can ruin his imagination and he’s only 8, then at 25 years, it’s certainly fucked mine up the proverbial arse.

So not bad for my first day, the urges were aplenty but I resisted the temptation to escape into the seedy world in question, by keeping myself busy….Unless the playing cards do count in which case I’ve failed miserably like a total loser.

Well as they say… onwards and upwards.

Day#2

Not a bad day although I’ve been feeling on edge throughout. I dont know if thats because of the lack of porn and masturbation or the the fact that i’ve also kicked weed and alchohol at the same time. Or the three combined. I find it weird abstaining from porn the most though. Maybe because I have taken it for granted for so many years as a quick release mechanism. It feels like I’m shutting out a neccessary daily ritual. Again managed to keep myself busy, went for a jam with my bro and just spent the day cleaning the house. Spoke to Mrs Bear again and I get the impression that she is surprised that I haven’t caved in yet.

Must….resist……..you….porn!!

ok bedtime!

Day #3

had temperamental internet connection yesterday but I got by ok. Woke up at 6am. Morning hardon as usual, had to fight the urge for about 5 minutes then went to the gym. Went to work (thinking about sex all day) and then onto band practice afterwards and came home and stayed up chatting to Mrs Bear til 5am uk time. Almost ended up on youporn after we finshed our conversation but realised the time and thought “fuck that”

Day # 4

Woke up in a puddle of Jizz. Thankfully its mine! Wet dreams don’t count though, as of today I haven’t felt horniness all day. Didnt’ even think about looking at porn. Still can’t believe I had a wet dream at 25!! what a loser!

Going to bed not horny makes a nice change. Lets see if I can keep this up.

You go my man…keep it up, that is down or whatever:D !

Hello Bigbear thanks for your response on my thread about porn. You have my support and I’m with you. We’re both in a similar situation. Only thing cancel the gf bit and replace full time work with school. I like you to have skipped school because my routine gets messed up. Whats worse is that I feel unhealthy and abit dull in the brain. I tend to get guilt ridden and lazy. Porns sucks big time for me. I loose motivation to do pe. And worst of all! School work. Let’s do this together! Mind if I hijack your thread?

Oh btw I masturbated twice earlier..

And with that note I have school later, gotta drag my ass no matter what! Had enough of slacking shit.(just had a redbull to keep sober)

*Edit* takes alot of guts for a man to fess up about his addiction on the net even though not face-to-face. Good luck bro, I’m by your side.

It’s nice to see another doing the same. I’m on day 3 of a porn detox myself. It’s a bit harder today because I lost my job yesterday! Although I now have the time to focus on a little PE.

Thanks for the support guys, I am really determined to get through this no matter how hard it is. I just want to be normal again.
Evergrowing, feel free to jack this thread whenever and that goes for anyone else. (within reason!!)

Day #5

Ok so I thought I wasn’t horny going to bed, but my dick obviously had plans of its own. Was woken up at 4am by a raging hard-on that wouldn’t subside as much as I tried to fall asleep through it. Now I’ve never suffered from Priapism but this certainly felt like it. Booo. Spoke to Mrs Bear on msn in the morning and told her of my plight. She seemed as supportive as one can be from 12,000 miles away bless her cotton socks.

So I went to work horny as a motherfucker and feeling so tired at the same time. I missed the gym this morning because of my “rude-awakening”. I’m getting to the point now where Page 3 in The Sun (British Paper) is starting to have its appeal.

I miss my gf so much.

Keep on keeping on BigBear.

My porn detox starts now. I have cut it right down and got rid of any I have. Now all I have to do is avoid the internet. I have arranged stuff to do for the next few weeks to keep my mind off it all. I promise to not hijack anymore.

I don’t have any flight boxes full of playing cards to distract me, so I hope day 1 is easy.

Day#6.

I gave in guys. I totally failed. Spent most of

Day#7 wallowing in my own self pity. L…..

what a f***ing loser

Don’t beat yourself up. 6 days is your record, now beat that. I am struggling like crazy and feeling as horny as I ever have done. I feel like popping out this Sunday evening to see if I can find some willing lady. Anyway I am off to strip the wallpaper from the stairways… how much time did I waste looking at porn? Loads it appear.

Come on back to the fold BB… detox is easier the more you keep doing it. I hope;)

Thanks for the support man.

I guess I’m just pissed off because I’m so desperate to wipe the slate clean and not have these urges. It totally depresses me when I get like that… which makes it feel like such an addiction when it should just be easy to walk away from. I’m normally quite good with things where I can just simply say no, but when it comes to porn, or ultimately, ejaculating I dont seem to have that option.(even though I do, my mind doesn’t associate exerting control as being a postive outcome for some reason).

I will try and get back on the “wagon” so to speak.

Watch this space