Erection Strength and Premature Ejaculation

So I’ve suffered from PE throughout my life. I’ve since tried to battle the problem with desensitizing sprays, with which I had temporary success. Later on, I found myself a co-operative bedroom partner with whom I learnt to last a decent amount of time through changing positions, taking a breather, squeezing a kegel for over 10 seconds, and other various techniques. Unfortunately, part of the issue is that such techniques prevent me from pounding away long enough to make her orgasm. I’ve also communicated this problem to my GF, so she stops immediately when I ask her to as I am reaching ejaculation, co-operation which has helped me immensely. Unfortunately again, any new women that I sleep with aren’t co-operative in this manner, nor am I going to communicate this issue of mine so early into the relationship. Anyway, the problem is that in an attempt to avoid ejaculation, my erection strength always decreases significantly, so I can never be at full strength throughout intercourse whilst attempting to abstain from cumming. In other words, I will reach maximum strength and get close to PONR, then I will change my actions which will result in my erection subsiding, and then I have to build up my erection yet again. So even though I’ve managed to cum on my terms, provided my partner is co-operative (sometimes I tell my partner to stop, and she ignores me and continues, forcing me to blow my load), I’ve not been able to maintain a full erection throughout, nor am I always able to pound away for a long time. Furthermore, there are times when I am able to pound away without feeling the urge to cum, but that results in my erection going down. For instance, I will enter a girl doggystyle with a full erection, after pounding her for 5 minutes and not feeling an urge, I will exit her with a limp erection. I don’t fucking understand. Either I come too quickly, or I become limp for lasting too long.

I had an issue with cumming too quickly with different women back a few months ago. I have been working my way up with kegels and deep squats to stretch the pelvic floor muscles. Most people focus on strengthening but not stretching, this can result in or worsen already existing premature ejaculation. With the woman im currently with I can control my orgasm very well and always make her orgasm multiple times.

I would recommend deep squats with no weight focusing on loosening up your pelvic floor muscles.

I can relate to both issues. I do we’ll most times but sometimes I blow fast or I can lose erection too.

Remember that if its good you are supposed to cum. Don’t act ashamed or be embarrassed. Some women see it as a compliment. If she seems annoyed, tell her she feels too good to you and you don’t normally bust so fast. And go hard if you want to go hard! Think about something besides not cumming too! I concentrate on how she smells, how her skin looks, her boobs bouncing, how warm and soft her skin is. I think of how happy I am to have my dick in her.

As long as I think those type of thoughts I’m golden. If I start telling myself ‘don’t do it yet’, ‘don’t come’. Then low and behold I’m letting it go. If you spend your whole time watching your excitement level you are going to push yourself over the edge or down too low. Just try to notice and dwell on other thoughts and you can do it! In the words of the John Witherspoon in Boomerang “don’t be pussy whipped, Whip that pussy!”

Read what pros like Ron Jeremy would do during sex scenes: think of unpleasant things… ANYTHING to take your mind off of the woman you are doing. He said he would think of his grandma and other things that would turn him off. Now, I have NO idea how he didn’t lose his erection thinking of crap like that.

I have a very patient wife. She has been “coaching” me to control myself, but it is mostly through her riding me. I have read that being on top, aka “missionary” style is actually the position most men have the hardest time controlling. I have found for myself personally that thrusting makes me cum. Unfortunately, I have also noticed that my cock has become accustomed to cumming when on top. So my wife will ride me for a good 15-20 minutes and as soon as I get on top, I blow my load in seconds flat. I need to work on this. Will report back when I improve.

When I had my first girlfriend, PE was really an issue. The good news, my ex-girlfriend had helped me overcome it. During our first encounters, I can see the disappointment on her face as she was not yet reached orgasm while I was squirting already. With her help, she talked to me when she feels I’m about to reach the point of no return. Perhaps that distract my focus and the sensation subside a bit. In other words, she was the one controlling it at first. Later, I’ve learned how to control it myself even if my ex-girlfriend became wild. Plus, a daily relaxation or deep breathing of at least 5 minutes a day helped me as well.

My wife did something similar for me, but with her on top. Went from blowing a load in 2-5 minutes to holding it for a good 15-20 minutes. But once she’s done and I hop on top, I lose my load instantly. I need to work on being able to control it when I thrust and am on top.

I have had moments when I haven’t lasted long. I truly believe the solution is not thinking about it. When I concentrate on her or counting strokes I can last much longer.

A big key is relaxing during sex pay attention to other things besides not coming. Smell her hair, kiss her neck, add angles to your stokes. Removing the time pressure will add minutes.

Now that I concentrate on enjoying her warm soft body and don’t tell my self ‘not yet!’ I last longer. A bonus is I rate the sex on how it feels versus how long I last.

Hmm, counting strokes? Interesting and I may try it. My problem is, when I concentrate on her I get too excited. I have tried the Ron Jeremy advice of thinking on ANYTHING but what I’m doing… doesn’t work. Thinking of trying some natural supplements that Lance Armstrong’s website said helps with premature ejaculation.

Very interesting.
How do you focus in loosening up pelvic floor muscles?

It is a fact that when you are reaching the PNOR your testicles start to rise up in your scrotum. When this happens, if you pull down on your balls, you can stave off ejaculation.

I have heard a theory that if you wear a cock ring around your scrotum above your balls, you should be able to delay ejaculation. I was wondering if any of you guys have tried this and if it has worked.

Your scrotum retracting is part of the process yes but pulling them down will not help. I have ejaculated before with a ball stretcher on.

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Very interesting.
How do you focus in loosening up pelvic floor muscles?[/QUOTE]

Deep squats with no weight will stretch your pelvic floor muscles, as well as butterfly stretches: put the bottom of your feet together in a sitting position and pull your heels toward your groin.

Do penis enlargement techniques lead to increase premature ejaculation?

No. Doing kegels anf jelqing has given me better erections and better control.

Oh I see. That’s good to know.

You hit the nail on the head with a problem many guys have with PE solutions. If you take so much action, can the woman still enjoy it?

In my experience there is a balance to be had. Sometimes the woman wants you to just go for it with full force and passion and not mess around with delay tactics. Other times she’s happy to relax with you and let you see if you can prolong things.

You need to communicate about this and strike a compromise I think. And as someone else said, don;t neglect the foreplay. One way to deal with PE is to raise her arousal levels first to meet yours more closely.

If she can only orgasm from long pounding, then you may need to go with the ‘second time’ theory that you’ll always last longer the second time round. But again that takes her agreement.

It’s a tricky one, and I think the best solution is good communication and not always getting caught up in the ‘I must do every trick in the book to last longer’ scenario. Sometimes just let rip and let her feel your manliness!