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Maybe with the person you love, you tend to ‘feel’ more and thus you get very sensitive and cum much more faster. That’s what I told my gf and she agrees. I cum very fast each time she gives me a blowjob but she’s not upset with it, she loves doing it. Sometimes when I told her I felt like cumming, she didnt stop or slow down, she continue till I blow my load.
Check out this conversationher: nah we’re a good physical match…if you didnt make me feel good, you’d know it
me: true
her: i love the feel of you in me…love wrapping around you… it continues on!!! But I still want to last longer!!!
You got a girl there who is crazy about you. That means you can afford to slow way down.
From the sound of it she would be willing to experiment and learn with you. You’re in a perfect place to deal with your issue.
I will say this: the less you stress about it and the more you really take time to go slow and tune in to your body, the faster you will be able to get it under your control. If you slip up on your way to your goals: be kind to yourself, treat it as a step in the process of overcoming this, and don’t get caught up in some warped failure head-trip on yourself. You can be your own worst enemy that way.
Read this I think it might help.
The fact that she’s nuts about will allow you to take time, slow down and really find out how your body works.
You will probably have to de-condition yourself a bit, or I should say recondition yourself. Kegels are great, keep that up.
But there are also factors of breath and relaxation that will be of major help you.
The book The Multi-Orgasmic Man has some great information in it. There’s also one called The Multi-Orgasmic Couple.
Your girlfriend seems more than game, so let her in on it.
All I can say is at this point you have no idea what you can achieve. So be open to it. And you can achieve it with patience and practice. It’s clear your girlfriend will give you all support you need; if you make it fun and share the learning experience it will deepen your bond.
And you’ll have mind-blowing sex.
Before: I'd like to show you something I'm very proud of, but you'll have to move real close.
After: I\'d like to show you something I\'m very proud of, but you guys in the front row will have to stand back.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams (:
Just would like to add: ejaculation and cumming are not the same thing. Men often get this confused.
An orgasm has nothing to do with ejaculation, really.
The suggestions of drugs, lidocaine creams, pot smoking, alcohol, etc., while well-intentioned only mask the problem and offer no lasting solution.
If you have serious problems go to a urologist (but not one who suggests that coital sex should last 3 minutes tops, fire that quack and get a second opinion).
What’s been described here sounds mostly like bad conditioning and poor sexual self-awareness. The kid with no doors, DaKine, was caught up in a process of conditioning himself to cum very quickly, so he wouldn’t get caught at it. This kind of thing is all too common in our society. It’s why that Surgeon General, whatever her name was, suggested masturbation be taught in schools. A lot of people grow up with the mind-set of a sexual thief, stealing sexual satisfaction as quickly as possible, trying not to be caught, feeling guilty about it. This causes us to train our bodies to fire quick and be out of touch with what sexuality actually is.
This thread on Having longer sex is a good one. The guy who started it, did, actually has quite a little routine for himself.
He’s going down the right road; I’m sure it’s very effective.
The Multi-Orgasmic Man
Male Multiple Orgasm: Step-by-Step
These are good beginning reference materials. The Multi-Orgasmic Man outlines a strategy that is derived from the Taoist’s that Motivated was talking about. By the way, Motivated, the Taoists actually teach ‘saving the seed’ is important at any age. It’s just becomes more vitally important for us as we age. If you really get into this way of approaching male sexuality and get skilled at it, you can have an orgasm anytime you want, and ejaculate when and if you want; as I said before, an orgasm is different from ejaculation, although you can have the two at once if you prefer - it would be up to you. 2 1/2 to 3 minutes my foot. A quickie for me is like 20 minutes to a half hour. If I'm motivated I can last and last and last.
The kegel, reverse kegel, belly-breathing exercise, and the ability to slow down, or stop if you need to, are all your friends in this venture.
Personally, I think these things, when used in a synergistic way are way better than the aforementioned solutions (drugs, lidocaine creams, pot smoking, alcohol, etc.) or wearing two condoms (a new one for me, I must admit) or even the squeeze technique - though that beats these others to be sure.
The worst suggestion was the use of SSRI’s - do not screw around with your brain chemistry in this way unless you absolutely must, and then under a doctor’s supervision. You will be giving up a lot otherwise. Ever heard of ‘brain plaque’? Sound like a good time? I rest my case.
Obviously in extreme cases you should consult your doctor, but try a number of things before reaching for the Prozac, or Wellbutrin (which is actually classified as an anti-psychotic FYI). The ‘take a pill to make it better’ strategy is really not the right way go, as a rule, only in the extreme cases as a last resort. Not to say you can’t have a drink or a smoke or whatnot, but when you are learning it’s best to have all your awareness about you. You’ll get better results initially.
If a given girlfriend likes it hard and fast, have faith: you will be able to do that for her eventually the way Big Griper accidentally did. But first you must slow down, tune in to yourself, relax, breathe deeply, and really get in touch with what the sensations are, so you can control them using the tools mentioned above. You’ll first need to de-condition yourself then re-condition yourself, that will take time. But my god, will it be worth it. You have no idea.
We’ve all felt the ‘rush’ of ejaculation. If we take the time to tune in that sensation in it’s earliest signs we are on the road to having the kind of sex that puts us in the driver’s seat.
And the women I’ve been with love that.
It may take some time to unlearn and then re-learn. And allow yourself the reality that you are not perfect and you will not get this right at the start. Took me six months before I really started to know what I was doing, and I’m still learning. But I saw benefits right away, within a couple of weeks. Steady as she goes and pretty soon you’ll be able to give Sting a run for his money. Big Griper seems to have had an event where he stumbled onto this kind of control, but accomplished it intuitively and so got kind of ‘stuck’ in it.
We all can have nights like that. Anytime we want. We just need to patiently and I should say kindly teach ourselves how.
Before: I'd like to show you something I'm very proud of, but you'll have to move real close.
After: I\'d like to show you something I\'m very proud of, but you guys in the front row will have to stand back.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams (:
Things have been going very well actually.. I’ve been using Trojan’s extended pleasure condoms and breathing deeply and I’ve been lasting alot longer.. there have been times when I don’t ejaculate and the feeling lasts for so long! I love it! Practicing is fun ;)
I just read in another thread, that using electronic muscle stimulators can desenitize your penis/glans when directly attached to it. Anyone here with experiences? I wanted to buy such a TENS device in the near future to work out my PC muscle and along the way trying to desensitize my penis.